<p>Well, I had my calendar on the side just in case and every time I came to remind her the deadlines she said she knew already. I also offered to get a private counselor but she declined. </p>
<p>My kids and I did most of the work to come up with the list of schools they applied to. We got a few books (Princeton Review, Fiske, Barrons),looked on the internet, talked honestly about criteria for a school (price, location, size), we were honest about the range of schools that made sense give each child’s academics and standardized tests, and we visited a number of schools together (including different sizes, locations etc.). By doing this we were able to come up with the type of school that fit each child best and an application list that made sense. It is a good bit of work, but it was a great process because the kids were involved in the process (but not completely left to their own devices). I felt that I got to know both kids better through the process by hearing their likes/dislikes/opinions etc. and in the end it brought us closer together. </p>
<p>That said, if you feel you need help and you can afford it, it is fine to hire a private counselor. as a guide or to give another valuable opinion. I would just warn you to stay involved, do your own research with your child and not simply cede the entire process/decision making to the private counselor.</p>
<p>^^^^ THAT! My neighbors used a private counselor and ended up with a lot of heartache because they stayed too hands off and didn’t put their collective feet down and set boundaries early. They had major financial miscommunication and their S missed several key scholarship deadlines at safeties because he and the counselor were so focused on “getting him into” his reach.</p>
<p>^ That would have made me very unhappy…</p>
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<p>A lot of people find this.</p>
<p>We met with an independent once, followed by some email contact, after S was deferred early at his top choice, to take stock of his application, etc. It was helpful in putting things in perspective, and he made some good suggestions that S followed up on, probably because WE were not making them. 
For example, he convinced S that he should not hesitate to ask a friend to do the Dartmouth peer review, and that he needed a resume to highlight some things that got lost in the shuffle on the Common App. S was very much averse to self-aggrandizement, which is a nice trait, but not one that served him well in that context.</p>
<p>^ Isn’t it amazing how much better advice is received when it comes from someone besides the parents?</p>
I think it all really boils down to the skills and qualifications of the independent counselor compared to the counselors at the high school or parent’s knowledge of the search and application process. If you find a private counselor with years of admissions experience, interview experience, familiarity with colleges and their selfish needs (geographic diversity, expansion of particular program after receiving a big donation, etc.) and someone who has read essays, then an independent counselor can be HUGE. I’m in the admissions field and can tell you that there are some amazingly qualified independents out there who can provide great advice on new colleges to consider, can use their networks to help students get a full picture of each college in the research process, and do have secrets to share on “pitching” yourself to colleges to improve your chances of admission.
However, there are many counselors who just create spreadsheets and checklists to keep your child organized, something any parents can do assuming your child will listen. Really do your research before signing the dotted line and paying hundreds or thousands of dollars. Happy to answer other questions about finding a good counselor!
Our son’s HS GC was an absolute saint and an advocate for him all through HS and through the college application process, which actually took place after he graduated because he took a gap year.
Are there independent counselors that help with performing arts specifically? I know my son’s school guidance counselors don’t know much about the audition process and won’t be much help if he decides to go that route.
@jedwards70 - Does your child have a theater coach, director, or mentor, in or out of school? If it’s someone who has worked with students for any length of time, he or she ought to be familiar with the audition process. I know that some parents hire audition coaches. My son was sufficiently stressed at the time, and we didn’t want to pile much on. His theater director at school had worked with him in plays and in the classroom for four years, and she helped a lot. We considered her a second college adviser at the time. To a degree, he had three: a college adviser, his regular adviser, and his Theater Arts teacher. Go to the Theater/Drama Majors forum; I found them invaluable when my son was applying.
@woogzmama I’ve looked at some of the MT threads and it is an intimidating process. My S is a dancer and most of the counselors seem knowledgeable in MT but not dance. I think it is going to be a tough road if that is what he decides.
There’s no dance specific thread here on CC? Maybe you can initiate one. Your son must have at least one dance teacher who’s been through this with other students, or perhaps some other parents in your community have shepherded their kids through the process. It is intimidating. I think Dance might even be tougher than Theater. You should start investigating schools he’d like to apply to. Every college has different audition criteria, so expect your eyes to glaze over regularly. I think a “typical” audition (if such a thing actually exists) includes Ballet and Modern/Jazz master class sessions, along with some individual elements. Do not accept anyone’s word for this, though, because the requirements can change from year to year. I prepared an entire report for my son and his advisers, breaking down each college’s requirements and deadlines. There are regional auditions, usually, and most schools will consider video auditions only if an applicant is at least 500 miles from an audition venue or has extenuating circumstances. Those circumstances usually do not include family inconvenience or expense, unfortunately. Your high school ought to have “senior skip” days for college admission visits.
“My friends and I are debating the pros and cons of using the college counselors at our kids’ high school or going outside to an independent counselor.”
- you just need to get an LOR, I do not know what else you need from the college counselor. The independent counselor cannot provide LOR as far as I know.