My daughter will be in 8th grade this fall. She is a very hard working and a bright student who is highly interested in STEM. With that said she wants to pursue education in an Ivy league in STEM . Money is not a problem. We are looking for a counselor who can direct her about the choices that she is making not only about school but extracurricular wise as well. I have been going thru here but I get confused as admission process where I am from is different.
It’s way too early to be thinking about this. Anyone who wants to take your money now is being unscrupulous. I’m also skeptical that your 7th grade child already knows she wants to go to an Ivy League college. What are her reasons for that? What’s wrong with Stanford or Oxford? Prestige hunting for a 12 year old isn’t going to be good for you or your child. Let your kid be a kid for as long as possible.
Thank you so much Lindagaf. As i mentioned she is very focussed and knows what she wants. I being her parent just wan to help her . College names are not on her list yet. Also we are not prestige hunting but believe that if the child wants and is capable of should reach for it. Also to be in stem she needs help with her summer programs.
Also please no bashing up for asking out here. I am an ardent follower of this site.
Forget about college, if STEM is her passion, I would help her pursue that. Find interesting exciting opportunities. For example Cold Spring Harbor Lab has several DNA learning centers, and summer programs (might need to be in high school, not sure). One thing will lead to another, if she is truly interested. And when college rolls around, she will be an interesting candidate. There is no magic formula for Ivy admissions, if there was, someone would be selling it and making (multi)millions.
My own two cents is that top schools want kids that will make an impact, will lead, will make a difference.
You said she doesn’t know names of colleges but she knows she wants Ivies. I don’t understand that.
If you are on this site regularly, you will know that longtime users would never encourage a 7th grade child, who is probably not yet a teenager, or her parents to try to do stuff with a goal to getting into top colleges.
Your child has the best chance of getting into a top school by getting good grades and pursuing whatever genuinely interests her, whether that is knitting or studying insects. There are many summer programs for science and you don’t need a private advisor to find them, especially not for a 7th grader.
I’m sure Ivy Coach or whoever would be happy to take your money, but it’s my opinion that she is far too young for you to be thinking of that. I would also say that a large number of kids who get into top colleges are self motivated and do things for themselves that get them into top colleges.
You have a few years in which to do research about how to best help your child get into a top school. If you are intent on getting started, google private college advisors. Be prepared to spend around $20k, I’m guessing. Good luck.
At a minimum, I would wait until your D is going into HS to retain a college counselor. Ask around your local area (maybe nextdoor or HS parent facebook page?) for referrals, or check the IECA or NACAC sites for names of certified counselors in your area.
As mentioned above, there is no secret formula to getting into top schools. Have your D take a rigorous curriculum, allow her to explore courses where possible, and have her do ECs that she is interested in. Don’t do something because you think it will look good to colleges…that tends to not work out well.
Good luck.
From the admissions office at MIT (as top-tier STEM as you can get):
Ivy league schools are generally not known for STEM. Your high guidance counselor will be able to guide your child on her 4 year path on the classes she needs for the most rigor possible. It is not rocket science. They can probably plan her 4 years with their eyes closed for free and next year! You can google (for free) some summer programming for her but that is not going to play into any IVY college acceptances.
For about the same money as a college counselor you could just put her into Andover / Exeter / Choate / Trinity / Deerfield / Brearly / Horace Mann. If she is in the top cohort (say 15/20% of the class) at any of those she will do well in college admissions.
Plus, boarding school, if it is the right fit, will set a child up for life. They will get SO much more out of the experience than working with some college counselor.
Where I live, the first step would be to send your daughter to the best high school you can. In our area there is a public magnet as well as two other public schools that provide a rigorous curricula. If you have high school choices, choose wisely.
The students I know or know of from my son’s graduating class who are now first years at top colleges stood out in some role. It may have been competing and doing well in a national context, inventing something really cool, being a stellar student and a state level athlete, being the student director of the school orchestra, etc. These students were driven and their parents just needed to get out of their way and let it happen. You can really only provide the time and support but you can’t create the spark and drive. (Many amazing individuals did not do particularly well academically or do anything special in high school.)
As a parent of a college freshman and a high school sophomore who has seen the devastating effects of depression and anxiety in our area, my top priority is my children’s long term mental health. Sure, I’m going to set them up and support them in doing their best academically, but I’m not going to add to teenage angst if I can help it. Adolescence can be a fragile time.
Many kids who attend top colleges are self motivated and figure this stuff out on their own. In other words…it comes from the student and not the parent…they figure it out. They have the drive. That being said, I have not met any top students who know in 7th grade that they want to study STEM at an Ivy League school. My daughter and her friends were busy with school work, studying, sports, school plays, acting silly, etc…and many of them attended top schools.
In my opinion your daughter should take classes that are challenging enough, and she should focus on activities that she finds interesting. There is nothing wrong with doing some research and presenting her with various options and activities…and letting her choose what she likes. You don’t need a counselor.
Depending on where you live, there might be a wide variety of age appropriate science programs etc. Once she is in HS there will be even more options. And…it’s not necessarily what activities you do; it’s how you do them. There is no magic formula.
Mental health issues are prevalent in young people today. I would let her enjoy her childhood right now.
My nephew in 7th grade was doing who knows what but nothing special. Come 12th grade he suddenly decided he wanted to apply to ivy league - he knew the names of top schools by then, knew what ivy league meant etc. However he didn’t plan it. Yet he still got accepted as a STEM major in an ivy league school. Even without knowing he was able to demostrate passion/dedication/leadership in ecs and get decent grades and test scores. His ecs were simply stuff he enjoyed but he didn’t win awards, play sports etc.
If you want her to do a science summer program see what is in your area etc but dont’ do it in terms of ivy league - do it because she might enjoy it even if she doesn’t end of in a top school. However also give her options to have fun that aren’t necessarily academic - that is also important at her age. Remember colleges don’t care what she does before she starts high school.
My older son would have told you as an 8th grader that he wanted to go to MIT (or an equally good school) for computer science. But MIT was on his radar because he was already familiar with stuff coming out of their Media Lab and from Open courseware. It was still his first choice when he was a senior, but he didn’t get in. He ended up at Carnegie Mellon which he had not heard of at the time, and was a fabulous place for him.
We were never aiming at particular schools, but we did look for opportunities for my kid to pursue his interests. He did some weekend courses for kids at Columbia University - you had to be nominated by a teacher and there was a test to get in. He got invited to a lecture series at IBM which he went to. He got involved in Science Olympiad and his school’s academic team. He did a lot of stuff online from Game Mods to learning new programs. We didn’t push him to do anything.
In middle school he did CTY summer programs, In high school he did a Columbia University comp sci course and then worked in CS the other summers.
There are any number of science and engineering programs out there, some specifically for girls. We were lucky because of our proximity to NYC to have some opportunities that people in other parts of the country might not have.
Re the Applying Sideways essay, yes, be a nice person! That’s one thing that so many people forget. Colleges want to admit people they like.
There is a college out there for your daughter. Not when she’s twelve though.
Check out “How to be a High School Superstar” by Cal Newport.
“The basic message of the book is this: Don’t wear yourself out taking as many classes as you can and being involved in every club and sport. Instead, leave yourself enough free time to explore your interests. Cultivate one interest and make it into something special that will make you stand out among the other applicants and get you into the toughest schools, even if your grades and scores aren’t stellar. Newport calls this the “relaxed superstar approach,” and he shows you how to really do this, breaking the process down into three principles, explained and illustrated with real life examples of students who got into top schools: (1) underscheduling—making sure you have copious amounts of free time to pursue interesting things, (2) focusing on one or two pursuits instead of trying to be a “jack of all trades,” and (3) innovation—developing an interesting and important activity or project in your area of interest. This fruit yielded by this strategy, an interesting life and real, meaningful achievements, is sure to help not only with college admissions, but getting a job, starting a business, or whatever your goals.”
http://www.examiner.com/review/be-a-relaxed-high-school-superstar
“Ivy league schools are generally not known for STEM.”
Well a lot depends on major, e.g. Penn and Cornell are known for engineering, while Princeton and Harvard are known for Physics, Brown for math etc…
This is the kind of information I am looking for consolidated at one place.
Your child should pursue extra curricular they are interested in, not what will look food on an application.
Your rising 8th grade does not need a college counselor…at all. Not yet,
I think it’s fine to nurture middle school interests. I think it’s not fine to hyperfocus on them.
My kid is a STEM kid. The kid NEVER did a summer stem program. She never did research before she went to college. She never took calculus in high school.
She has a bachelors double major in bio-engineering and biology…imagine that.
So what did the kid do in summers? Went to a great music camp for three years. Worked as a lifeguard. Worked in a snack bar.
Did the kid have STEM related ECs in high school? That would be a NO. Kid was in a precollege orchestra and wind ensemble, studied two musical instruments, was in a prestigious auditioned children’s choir, was on the swim team, skied, volunteered at the elementary school.
My point is…you need to encourage a broad range of things with a rising 8th grader. They need to experience things both within and outside of their comfort zone. They need to explore many areas…because you never know what might actually pique their interest.