<p>I wrote the 1st prompt of the UC schools (Describe the world you come from, and how that world has affected you). I am applying to some reach schools like LA and Cal, for which I am relying mostly on my essays to form a solid impression. Give me some feedback guys, I would extremely appreciate it! Thank You in advance
Here is the essay: </p>
<p>The world I know of is fearless; it knows no ends and accepts no failures. Coming from a world in which the enduring stronghold has been that of dedication and perseverance, I have grown to embrace to my dreams despite the prospective multitude of challenges I will encounter. From my grandfather who worked relentlessly in the mines of a puny town in India, to my father who made the unimaginable leap of crossing the Atlantic to secure a job in America, I today realize the magnitude of success that arose from a torrent of failures. The dire difficulties they mastered became the opportunities they won. I realized from their experience that what we want and what we get are often at odds; that we are often the victims of discouragement when wishes arent fulfilled and dreams arent satisfied. But from this discouragement comes a desire to try once more, an inflamed urge to transcend the bounds of failure and setbacks. And this is the very plane I find myself on today, as I dream of one day becoming a Chief Executive Officer of a large company. Yes, its a very farfetched dream, with all odds against my interest. It is inevitable that Ill struggle and keep failing. But after witnessing my familys history of robust work ethic, I know that if I continue to demonstrate managerial courage, keep persisting amidst the fall backs, and seize every opportunity along the way, I could make it. My inspirational figures, like my grandfather and my father, have lived with integrity and led by examples; examples that I am grateful to be following. If it werent for these examples, I would have long since dismissed my aspiration of becoming a CEO simply because of the negligible chances and the unprecedented success like that in the family. And today, I am more than willing to follow this dream, and more than willing to batttle against the opposition, failure, and competition. Since freshmen year, I have continually sought to develop my leadership skills by joining various clubs, exploring a passion in a field, and capitalizing on my assets that I acquire through high school. Having been nominated for a nationally recognized Business Leadership Program and completing a year-long internship as part of the business team, I have gained invaluable financial knowledge that would assist me in corporate planning and strategic management. And this would consequently facilitate my vision of leading a corporation and making it thrive. Furthermore, my sharp focus on this dream has impelled me to develop a strong work ethic through the rigor of my academics, a blossomed my interest in managing and directing, and most importantly, offered an ambition to continue the legacy set in my family. My grandfather wanted to support his family of nine with the bare minimum. He succeeded. My father wanted to remove his family from the impoverished and squalor surroundings he was born in. He succeeded. And I want to continue this pattern of success by living up to my dream of becoming a CEO aand leading a profitable corporation.</p>