<p>You are not going for “unique.” Or what you think will be refreshing to an adcoms charged with putting together a freshman class. This isn’t your hs teacher saying, write something “personal,” just to see where you go with it, maybe correct your structure or grammar. </p>
<p>This is for college admissions. You want them to show the attributes you will contribute to their freshman class. For all the good colleges, for every kid who baffles them, there are others who don’t. They take 12-15-20 minutes per app. You yank their chains and they have no way to see the attributes they need. And they may question your judgment.</p>
<p>They are looking for students to be engaged and active on campus. And who can take on challenges, evolve, be resilient, move them selves off the dime, do for others, craft a good tale that shows them in a good light, etc. Give them what they need, not what they don’t.</p>
<p>UChi specifically asks some questions to gauge, among other things, creativity. No one else wants to know your favorite day of the week, and why.</p>
<p>I, personally, would probably stay away from writing about video games, as it is not exactly the most mature topic; however, that doesn’t mean you can’t craft a compelling essay on the subject. @intparent and @lookingforward are highlighting some really valuable and important points. However, If you believe your essay on video games portrays you in the right light (that they are speaking of), then do it. Otherwise, you may want to rethink the prompt.</p>
<p>Imagine this: you are face-to-face with the one person who has the entire fate of your college acceptance in his/her hands. This person then tells you that you have the next 3 mins to say whatever it is that will convince him/her to accept you. Now, I ask, would you really spend the 3 minutes talking about video games? Because that is exactly what the personal essay is, though non-verbal. Just food for thought… Best of luck. </p>
<p>Hello everyone, I don’t know if y’all all get notifications from my reply because I’m new to this but thanks for all the talk. It helps a lot.
I want to clarify somethings though…I didn’t spend my essay talking about actually videogaming, I was very analytical and talked about how it allows me to explore and enjoy simulations of new worlds (I should mention I play RPG’s). In fact I mentioned that concept exactly how @SomethingWithin mentioned it(exploring new worlds but escaping from it). At the end I then used the words, 'but with college the realty remains" referring to how I wouldn’t need the whole secluded videogames environment because I’d have a whole new world and diverse opportunities to engage in as opposed to what @intparent thinks I would do. Maybe, my best bet is to make clear that I would definitely participate in the college communities and that my videogame fun only is a temporary thing because of high schools limited scope. I really want to do this because i made it really natural, but I also need to show the admissions officer that in a way the exploration and fun I get from gaming could teach me many things, some of which could help me as a student at college.</p>
<p>I’d also like to include that in my essay i will edit and discuss how one of the reasons why I like to play (RPG) vidoegames the way I do, is because it isn’t passive, like T.V shows, movies or even books or whatever the heck a videogame book what @intparent was talking about where you just have to wait and see what the author layed out for you. So that could show into my character how I like to lead, manage, and explore. The videogame essence i described in my essay makes it clear that I desire exploration and I am not scared of the unknown. Gaming in my college dorm on orientation day is the LAST thing I would be doing, and it further shows the stereotype of gamers that is certainly evident on my thread. (I addressed the stereotype in the essay as well)
Hopefully I’ve given more information about my essay so a better critique would be possible.</p>
<p>Your descriptions aren’t making it sound more worthy. What leadership? I think you are missing the point. It’s not about game mastery, leading your character through an imaginary world. </p>
<p>What college-relevant attributes come through via “show, not tell?”<br>
And what level of colleges?</p>
<p>I’d consider myself a leader in my community and school, I founded the Model U.N club and since freshmen year I’ve been a student leader in council association. But what I’d try to get at(and I know this is a stretch which is why this topic is so risky) is that the videogames in my secluded environment actually help me explore and imagine more (even if its all a simulation). The strategy, the team building, it could all be practice, and then once I’m at college suddenly exposed to all these varying people, opportunities, and activities, I wouldn’t be afraid to explore and try new things to be a great addition to the college community. At the end of the essay I take a moment to compare my content gaming environment with college life and say how the different people, opportunities, and activities at college are represented by the different experiences I had with the games, except this time the reality remains.</p>
<p>Regarding the show not tell method of writing, I used sensory details in the begining to describe the atmosphere of the room in which I game, and also some time to outline the immersive and diverse experiences from playing some games.</p>
<p>I’m just trying to make this really unique.</p>
<p>Well the most competitive in my list are UPenn, Tufts, and Cornell.</p>
<p>We know various online things can expand certain skills. We just don’t always put them in front of critical decision makers. Would you tell a prospective employer you play video games, etc, etc, they’re some sort of “practice,” so you know you’ll be great on the job? Adcoms don’t want self analysis or promises. Or you telling them things will change in September. They want evidence you’ve got what they want now. In real life. Wrapped into a nice tale. That’s all I can say. </p>
<p>Wait, they don’t want self analysis? I thought they did? And I do realize how playing simulated games don’t show them you’d be a desirable student, unfortunately. To show them I’d be desirable to them I feel would likely involve me going on a path of boasting which I know is hated by adcoms. I just feel like everything is so cliche nowadays. </p>
<p>They don’t want description… they want action (and not RPG action) and anecdotes that tell them about you as a person.</p>
<p>So I suppose there is no possible way I could SHOW these anecdotes about me as a person while my essay is centered around my self analysis and internal justifications about why I play and what I realized from playing. Is there anywhere I could go from here without completely dropping a background with videogames in it though? </p>
<p>In your essay, can you actually tell a real story of how gaming helped you in a real life situation - concretely?</p>
<p>Some games have taught me certain things. lol. The Assassins Creed games familiarized me with their respective time periods and actually gave me a really interesting insight in my AP history classes the past years.
One thing is for sure, they have given me much needed breaks and relief in times of stress throughout the school year. I mean I figured gaming to relax was better than getting high or something because one of them is legal and the other isn’t. But I don’t think that is too strong for the adcom is it… It would be hard to give a concrete story as @scholarme is saying. Like I said above, my essay is too self reflective, and I need to add action. </p>
<p>How many ways can we say, risky?<br>
This thread is odd- I am wondering if it’s another “stress reliever.” </p>
<p>Kids should pick a topic that shows adcoms the attributes adcoms seek. If you don’t know, spend some time on the colleges’ web sites.<br>
Not pick the thing you like to play and then try to explain why adcoms should accept that as evidence of solid judgment, perspective, skills interacting with other humans, and understanding what getting into a good college requires. Hate to say it, but convoluted attempts to justify aren’t the kind of thinking they want in their admits. We’ve said it repeatedly. </p>
<p>What tier of colleges? </p>
<p>I get it, I get it. I was just trying to explain to you what I wanted to add to try to show you how I would make it but you seem to see that as convoluted attempts to justify. It’s clear that you believe my topic in it’s entirety won’t take me anywhere so Starting over is perhaps the best bet. It’s only summer anyway.</p>
<p>and I already said the most competitive colleges I’m applying to are Cornell, upenn, and tufts so I guess 1st tier to 2nd tier. But my main focus is UVA which is instate for me</p>