<p>So, who here did the pre-college break-up thing? I did, or rather, she did it to ME. Now she's sending out mixed signals about getting back together/being friends and I basically want to go throw myself out a window. Ex's are a class of non-neccessary drama. </p>
<p>Anyone else want to vent?</p>
<p>dood just let it die. who cares, it's college go out and get some tail without any reservations.</p>
<p>Yeah, I had a similar situation. Best advice is to completely cut that relationship cord. Sure, there is no problem with being friends and hanging out, but to really enjoy college life, you need to sever those kinds of ties to the past. Its a fresh start and you should begin with a clean slate. She pretty much made this easy by deciding to end your relationship. Don't make the mistake of trying to restart something that will only hinder you in college. Start fresh and you will be sooooooo much happier. I can't really explain it. You just need to get out there and live it and you will totally understand.</p>
<p>Uh, I had an ex who wanted to get back together with me about a half year after she had broken it off -- and after I had suffered a lot about it. It made me suspicious...I had no idea why she would want to do this, given that it was clear even to me (I had broken up first and then we had mended) that ultimately we weren't a good couple. I simply didn't believe that things were on the up-and-up. And then I found out that something had happened to her (I won't say what 'cause it was too painful a situation), and really she was just using me to test whether she was still attractive. I could have been angry, really angry, but I was understanding 'cause what had happened was bad and I felt sorry for her -- and I hadn't fallen for it anyway.... She went on to be fine, by the way.</p>
<p>She may just be playing with you to see if you still find her attractive 'cause this meets some need or feeds her ego. Mixed signals gives her an out to say you misunderstood. But with these kinds of things, someone who really cared for you and wasn't just thinking about herself would never make the signals mixed. </p>
<p>So: you know what to do. Stay far away from her. If you see her and she's friendly, don't be more than polite and non-commitally friendly. What she's doing is cruel to you, actually, and you are lucky you're aware enough to know what's really going on.....</p>
<p>Cut the cord, fully, irretrievably.....</p>
<p>i thought getting over my ex would be the hardest thing to do in my life. we broke it off at the end of the summer after 2.5 years and are still close to this day. he pretty much has a new girlfriend. do i like it? no. but honestly we had a great breakup and itd be stupid of either one of us to try and be together again. i appreciate that we can still be close and that we can stay part of eachothers lives. that wouldnt be true if we were still playing the "we might get back together" game. who knows how ill feel when i see him everyday for a month over winter break. but for now i have no desire to have him as my boyfriend even thogh a month and a half ago we were devastated leaving eachother. move on, if its meant to be itll work on in the end. college is time for experiencing new things.. its fun getting to know new guys/girls without having to think about your ex.</p>
<p>Don't cut the cord TOO completely. You're probably both going to be back home next summer... bored... horny...</p>
<p>Relationships suck for the most part, try and stay as far away until you no that she can't hurt you again.</p>
<p>I broke off a three year long relationship at the end of last school year. We both promised each other that we would work through the awkwardness, keep in contact, and rebuild a sturdy and platonic friendship.</p>
<p>The whole plan has basically combusted. He is super-clingy, expecting me to call every day, but also super-bitter, expounding at length on my flaws to whomever will listen. He's IMed (??? lame and creepy) a friend/floormate of mine, ranted to him, shared all sorts of private information with him (including a break-up letter), and insinuated that he has multiple people keeping on eye on me and reporting my actions back to him. He's obsessed with whether I'm drinking, whether I'm sleeping around, whether I'm telling him every detail... It's gotten ridiculous and, frankly, kind of frightening. I just started dating a new guy and I really don't want this new relationship to be sabotaged by an old one...</p>
<p>I would like to cut this kid out of my life, but I really can't entirely... all of his friends from high school are mine as well... I risk splitting the group in two.</p>
<p>/rant</p>
<p>
[quote]
So, who here did the pre-college break-up thing? I did, or rather, she did it to ME. Now she's sending out mixed signals...
[/quote]
Don't succumb to this! Odds are pretty good that it more an urge to reach out to the comfortable and familiar than a genuine desire to build a relationship again.</p>
<p>The timing makes sense here. People have been in college 1-2 months now, so the excitement and adrenalin from the first few weeks have worn off. They've met a lot of new people and its been fun, but they realize they're not the strong friendships yet that take time to build. Romantically it may seem like everyone else has some promising prospects. This explains putting out some feelers to people from the past.</p>
<p>But this phase will pass. Everyone will settle in, college will come to seem familiar and comfortable, they'll meet people to go out with. The problem with responding to the feelers from the ex-GF is that when this phase passes, so will her interest in you.</p>
<p>So keep her as a friend, and if it's too painful right now then limit your contact with her. There's no saying what might happen when you finish college (I'm assuming you're at different colleges) but for now make it clear that its friends only. You're going your way, she should go hers.</p>