College Freshman Trials and Tribulations

<p>Am I going crazy or is this scenario normal for a freshman in college who is in the process of maturing and trying to make his own decisions ?</p>

<p>Dad, just found out my new fraternity is on probation and the school confirmed that my selection for next years frat housing will not work out, so I need to try to find housing for next year, the good thing is they have my housing deposit so I guess I will have a bed somewhere on campus next fall.</p>

<p>Dad, you know I am doing well (3.0 gpa) and I love the school and my friends here, but I decided I do not want to study or commit to my original major (international business). I am on track to finish my Gen Ed requirements next year and at this point enrolled as a Business Administration Major.</p>

<p>Dad, just decided not to take my old summer (guaranteed) job back this year, I will be living with a couple of friends in a sublet that we secured, I will be looking for a job in that area, hope you and Mom don't mind, but next year I will have to get an internship, so I really feel this will be fun and I can still save some money for school.</p>

<p>He is a good kid, a hard worker, and very independent, but my wife and I trying our best to support him and let him grow. Any kind words from parents who are experiencing the same worry or heart wrenching feelings of missing their kids during this process would be appreciated.</p>

<p>MJP - Your S is still communicating with you. When that stops, then worry. Just my opinion of course.</p>

<p>MJP2558, count your blessings. Here’s what we’ve heard from our freshman:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>I’m giving up my full-ride AROTC scholarship. I like ROTC, but can’t see myself married to the Army until I’m 30.</p></li>
<li><p>I don’t want to be a psych major on track to the FBI.</p></li>
<li><p>I want to be theatre major, even tho I only had one bit part in HS.</p></li>
<li><p>My grades are tanking due to fraternity pledging.</p></li>
<li><p>The sentence for my underage drinking citation is 25 hours of community service. I don’t know if I can work that in before my deadline.</p></li>
<li><p>I’m seeing the campus counseling center for depression.</p></li>
<li><p>Due to depression, I couldn’t complete Fall course registration on time. I’ve only got 4.5 credits lined up for next semester. </p></li>
<li><p>All of my shoes are missing. All of them.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Would you like to trade worries?</p>

<p>OK…I am starting to feel better.</p>

<p>How about,</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Mom, I’m in the emergency room. I don’t know how I got here (call received from the ski resort where D is on the U “ski team”)</p></li>
<li><p>Mom, I fainted in class (again). </p></li>
<li><p>Mom, I think I’m going to fail {Core Course for major}.</p></li>
<li><p>Mom, I lost my cell phone at a frat party</p></li>
<li><p>Mom, my roommate stole a bunch of street signs from a frat house and we all have to go up for a disciplinary hearing.</p></li>
<li><p>Mom, I can’t come home this quarter because I’m going to Mammoth, Coachella, Santa Barbara, Vegas… (I’m not paying for any of these, BTW)</p></li>
<li><p>Mom, I have pink eye (again)</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Smiling…alot…</p>

<p>Oh My God! Story of my life…mother of three boys</p>

<p>I am suddenly so thankful that all our calls were simple! Hugs to all of you with the doozies!</p>

<p>I ddn’t see anything unusual in the post - it all seems pretty normal to me. This is the time for the kid to start handling some of these choices thrown at him and to make reasonable decisions and it sounds like he’s doing fine. It’s also the time for him to figure out what subject matter he’s really interested in and adjust his coursework accordingly. This might even happen another time or two. There have always been some unknowns - internships, summer job opportunities, maybe study abroad, and possibly some other scenarios that weren’t etched in stone when he went there so he needs to decide about those based on his changing opportunities.</p>

<p>It sounds as if all is well.</p>

<p>If the school hasn’t called you and said “come and get him” you’re ahead of several of us.</p>

<p>Sincerely appreciate everyones replies and feedback. CC is really a great resource.</p>

<p>DougBetsy - OMG! I do not know how you are still functioning! I have to admit - when I got to the shoes part - I’m cracking up. If these kids only knew what they put us through!</p>

<p>To me it all sounds perfectly normal - yet heartbreaking if you were expecting him back home for the summer.</p>

<p>I am going to make a concerted effort to think of you DB and TP the next time our son calls irrate and cursing his school/friends/classes/assignments/life. So far, the venting has helped him move on and address head on whatever issue was stressing him out. You have both been through so much. I don’t think any of us thought freshman year was going to be so…eventful.</p>

<p>The OP’s son’s issues sound really normal and his decisions don’t seem out of whack, though I would not be happy with that fraternity nonsense. Can he find one that is not Animal House?</p>

<p>We have been through similar with our daughter culminating in her decision not to come home this summer and to live on campus. She has secured a paying job which will provide room and board and which will look good on her resume, but we will miss her. Had she not gotten the job, she was planning to stay with her bandmates in town and look for a job at Wally world or the like.</p>

<p>I figure as long as she is still discussing her options with us, we are ahead of the game. I lived at home and never had one conversation about my future or my goals with my parents.</p>

<p>OMG - I love this thread! DougBetsy, you deserve special mention for the missing shoes. Its’ great that you haven’t lost your sense of humor.</p>

<p>[Students</a> go barefoot to raise awareness of poverty Old Gold & Black](<a href=“http://oldgoldandblack.com/?p=13907]Students”>http://oldgoldandblack.com/?p=13907)</p>

<p>DougBetsy - he doesn’t need shoes today!</p>

<p>Thanks, rvm. Cool. :)</p>

<p>“8. All of my shoes are missing. All of them.”</p>

<p>LMAO! Now I don’t feel so bad about getting that call last week “Mom, put dad on speakerphone, three campus police and the Director of student housing are standing here with me and they just searched our room”</p>