This may need a two pronged approach. The anxiety needs treatment (there are alternatives to benzodiazipines for longer term). And the insomnia may become self-perpetuating because one becomes anxious about being anxious, and anxious about going to sleep or not, and then can’t!
But lack of sleep can seriously derail things in the short term, and so relief in the short term is needed asap. Hoping she can get at least 10 Ativan. Tell her to try 1/2 first.
Has she been checked medically, for thyroid, that kind of thing? Hormones okay?
Unless she is registered with the disabilities office and has anxiety as a diagnosed, documented disability on file, her accommodation will be zilch. First step is to get it registered/on file there. And if it already is, then its no surprise that her anxiety will surface in a variety of ways, including sleep. And is her Dr at home her PCP or psychiatrist? Has he/she treated your dau for anxiety in the past? Has your dau been on anxiolytics in the past? Since she hasn’t yet seen a counselor, its not accurate to tell him/her that she (your dau) is seeing a counselor, because at present she is not. If the Dr hasn’t treated her anxiety, hasn’t prescribed benzos for her in the past, and your dau hasn’t been in therapy yet, the Dr should politely decline to write a script for symptoms he hasn’t assessed.
And I am going to ask this only because it is a rampant issue on college campuses and is worth confirming with her that its not an issue for her, but assuming your daughter hasnt been prescribed a stimulant (Ritalin, Adderall, Metadate, etc), might she have tried someone else’s at any time to “help her study”? These are known to affect sleep, and could have triggered the cycle of an initial experience of an inability to sleep followed by the worry about her inability to sleep, and so it goes. Am also assuming she isnt drinking caffeine or taking and caffeine products in the afternoon/evening. How long has the sleep problem been an issue?
I’ve had severe sleeping issues in the past, to the point where I slept less than 5 hours per week. I tried just about every type of medication and technique during this period, with varying degrees of success. Some types medications that can be used to treat insomnia are also frequently prescribed for anxiety, generally benzodiazepines. However, they have a variety of downsides and should not be taken for long periods, so it would not be a long term solution, if deeper issues are present. If the root cause relates to anxiety, then it would be helpful to better understand what is causing the anxiety and addressing those causes. If the anxiety more relates to a consequence of being worried about not sleeping than a cause of insomnia , then there are a wide variety of other medical causes that can lead to insomnia, ranging from hormonal issues to nasal issues. Rather than get 2nd hand medical advice from persons on an Internet forum who have never met your daughter, I’d recommend visiting a psychiatrist and/or MD on campus, if available. At many colleges, these are free (no additional fee beyond tuition) and frequently used by students.
Some more simple/obvious non-medical changes that might be helpful include talking to roommates about late night loud noises/parties and/or finding ways of drowning them out, such as earplugs; avoiding anything that causes notable thought, anxiety, or high HR near bedtime, which might include studying for an exam (better to study earlier than wait until last minute) or exercise; favoring high calorie/carb later at night and avoiding caffeine after mid day; and trying to maintain a consistent sleep schedule, rather than wake up early for classes on weekdays and sleep in on weekends. Personally, it doesn’t sound appropriate to me for a college student to call parents at 3AM every night, but I don’t know the specific relationship. I expect that habit is not helping to improve the insomnia.
One other thing. And it is not at that point yet, so forgive this premature thought:
It is okay to take a medical leave for something like this. You don’t want her transcript to get affected, though at the moment that is a minor concern I am sure. Still, in the future, it will matter. Medical withdrawal wipes the slate clean.
She should definitely register with disabilities office for accommodations such as single room, reduced courseload, extensions on papers, excused absences etc. They would give her letters for professors and she would be the one to explain, or not.
Did you buy tuition refund insurance? It can be really helpful.
Insomniac here. She might try Zyrtec (allergy med, for me it’s better than Benadryl, less dopey the next day), magnesium supplementation (Nature Made makes a good combo magnesium/D/zinc pill), listening to audiobooks on an ipod or phone - set timer to turn off after half an hour, or get up and read but in dim light and/or without reading glasses to make your eyes tired.
She should probably get her hormones checked. Also, not to be intrusive but if she’s on birth control pills, she might want to try a different prescription. Anxiety can be hormone related.
Sleep deprivation can be a vicious cycle. I feel for her, and for you. Good luck.
don’t think anybody has suggested white noise yet - I know there are many phone apps for this but we use a sleep machine and it work great - Marpac Dohm-DS All-Natural White Noise Sound Machine - have recommended it to several people and they all loved it.
I have been a poor sleeper for my whole adult life and suffered from severe insomnia in my early 20s. Counseling definitely helps. I also agree with no computers two hours before bed. Here are some things that have worked for me over the years:
Get out of bed. One problem with insomnia is that it perpetuates itself: you can't sleep, so you fret and toss and turn,,and the next night you worry about not sleeping even more, so you begin to associate your bed with not sleeping. So get out of the bed. Take a novel, not school work, and go to a common room, or even sit in the hall, and read for as long as needed to feel sleepy. No e readers though. (Some people watch mindless TV, but I prefer a book.) Then go back to bed and get up at the usual time.
Tell yourself that it is okay to not sleep. You are giving yourself permission to be awake, because this is only temporary. I used to say in my head "okay, it's midnight, and I am still awake, but by 2, I will be sleeping." And I would be. Even if I still had to get up at 6 am, I had had some sleep at least, so that was positive.
Confront the thing that is bothering you. Often, you want to drift off, but something is niggling at the back of your mind. Figure out what that thing is, and address it, or come up with a plan for the morning. I always have pen and paper by my bed, even now, so I can write down the thing I need to do, or forgot to do. I rarely need to use it these days, but it helps because I won't forget.
Lavender oil on a tissue, inhale deeply at bed time. Really helps. Hot chamomile tea, or Sleepy time tea. At least an hour before, so you can use the bathroom before going to bed.
Do something relaxing right before turning out the lights. For me, this is bedside stretches, and reading. I might only read two pages, but I must read something. For my husband, it's doing Sudoku.
Of the above, I think number 1 is most important. I never took any prescribed meds as I was too worried about becoming dependent. I swear by lavender oil. Melatonin never helped me. Honestly, counseling and getting out of the bed when I couldn’t sleep were the most important things. And tell your daughter that this won’t last forever. She may have occasional sleepless nights, as I still do, but when she figures out the root of her troubles, that will help enormously. Good luck to her.
It helps immeasurably to turn the clock or the phone away from sight so you don’t obsess about how long you have been trying to fall asleep or how much sleep you are missing.
Does she get enough exercise?..perhaps on a very large campus she does with all the walking but if not, sometimes getting a work-out in to clear the mind can also help with anxiety and help with sleep.
@compmom , of course it isn’t okay not to sleep. But for NOW, it is far better to let yourself think that, than the alternative. As a person who went to therapy for sleep issues, it is not healthy to tell yourself that you have a problem. Any sleep is better than no sleep. If I got into a bad cycle, I saw even a few hours of sleep as an improvement. If I fell asleep last night, even at two a.m., I knew could do it again.
It is very important to get to counseling because the sleep issue is in all likelihood due to some kind of unresolved stress about something else. In my case, and I won’t get too personal, I had some long-buried family issues. Getting to the root of what is troubling you is the biggest factor in resolving the issue on a long-term basis. I instinctively knew that, at least for me, meds would just be a bandaid and I would worry about what would happen once I no longer had meds.
Other ideas here that help: Yes to earplugs. Yes, never have the clock facing you. (I still don’t, even now.) Yes to exercise during the day, but it shouldn’t be within an hour of bedtime, as it can have the opposite effect.
Excellent post @Lindagaf. While a prescription medication may be a brief quick fix, even if only temporary,it may not address the underlying cause and if sleep improves, this may de- incentivize the individual to work on the underlying cause and take ownership and control of the problem if they can and where they can.
There are some natural “cures” you can try for insomnia and anxiety … basically you want to increase GABA in the brain If you takes some of these consistently I think you will find they work wonders… helps my kids and myself.
Passionflower take 2 at night - its an anti anxiety calming herb for a reved up mind - works wonders for my college son to sleep
Taurine - increases GABA
L-Theanine increases GABA (its found in green tea) so drinking several cups of (decaf) green tea throughout the day can help too
Chamomile tea increases GABA
Valerian Root- some people swear by this .....but for me it has a paradoxical response and revs me up - can happen w some people
I agree also w the magnesium that helps too!!
research increasing GABA naturally - I think this really works!
Also there are blue light blocking glasses you can buy and they say to wear them the last 2 hrs or so before bed there are theories that blue light from TV and computer screens messes w natural sleep cycles…
I would try natural remedies before benzodiazepines - benzos are only supposed to be for short time periods and can be addicting … but working to increase GABA has great effects for stress.
Yes, @Wellspring , my daughter unplugs her clock whenever she comes home. It helps not to know how much time has elapsed because worrying about not sleeping makes sleep less likely.
The OP has already said that a longstanding anxiety issue is behind the insomnia. In normal adult life, I agree with all of the above. But for a college student it is not okay to sleep just a few hours. I still suggest short term medication, or, alternatively, taking a medical leave while this is resolved. Staying in school while not sleeping is really not a good option. Benzodiazepines are okay for a week, or used as needed. MD’s only give out 10 at a time. There may be other meds. These would simply be like training wheels while a longer term solution is sought.
Getting accommodations in place might also help the daughter stay in school. with a professional documenting her anxiety and sleep issues.