college jokes

College Confidential Community
1

<p>Allright, since my 'yo momma' thread is lousy, I start a new thread. Just list any jokes or funny stories related to colleges.</p>

<p>How many Princeton students does it take to change a lightbulb?</p>

<p>Two---one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.</p>

<p>How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb?</p>

<p>Eleven---one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.</p>

<p>How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a lightbulb?</p>

<p>None---Hanover doesn't have electricity.</p>

<p>How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb?</p>

<p>Two---One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.</p>

<p>How many Penn students does it take to change a lightbulb? </p>

<p>Only one, but he gets six credits for it.</p>

<p>How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb? </p>

<p>Seventy-six---one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's</p>

<p>right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest.</p>

<p>How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?</p>

<p>None---New Haven looks better in the dark. </p>

<p>How many Harvard students does it take to change a lightbulb?</p>

<p>One---he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him </p>

<p>How many MIT students does it take to change a lightbulb?</p>

<p>five ---one to design a nuclear-powered one that never needs changing,</p>

<p>one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked lightbulb,</p>

<p>two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls </p>

<p>the wall switch.</p>

2

<p>I have one, but it's lame. I just searched on the google. Here it goes. </p>

<p>A University of Alabama football player was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you go to school?"</p>

<p>The co-ed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but did answer his question.</p>

<p>"Yale," she replied.</p>

<p>The UA student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL?"</p>

3

<p>haha...nice one there</p>

4

<p>.. i don't get this part:
[quote]
The UA student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL?"

[/quote]

Like, he is retarded or something..?</p>

5

<p>The co-ed said "Yale" which I guess the UA student heard as "Yell"</p>

6

<p>Yeah... because of a slightly different accent and stuff.</p>

7

<p>Plus, how can you expect a UA football player to know what Yale is? He only plays football at one of the most well known football schools in America. Yale pales in comparison.</p>

8

<p>How many college confidential members does it take to change a light bulb?</p>

<p>Ten--one to change the lightbulb (and count it as an EC), one to give his/her "puffed up" stats, and eight to fight about whether the stats are going to get them into an Ivy League school so they can be crowned king/queen college for the next half century.</p>

9

<p>I think it's more than 10. What about the 1 Northeastern white boy to say that it's unfair that a black girl from north dakota got to change the bulb instead of him. And the 1 to argue AA is fair, and the 2 to argue about socio-economic AA. Then there's the 2 asking if the light bulb changing incident can be used to help them ask the opposite sex out, and of course the 1 worrying if the light bulb he broke back when he was 4 will ruin his chances at HYP.</p>

10

<p>Yeah, then the few parents here and there sharing the sob story about their poor depressed elite school attending brainiac DD/DS who wasn't able to change their lightbulb so they are having a hard time making friends or to the bathroom.</p>

11

<p>ugh, and of course, the 1 asking what type/brand/size lightbulb he should bring with him to college.</p>

12

<p>ahahahahahaha lol 311griff</p>

13

<p>How many Univ of Chicagoers does it take to change a lightbulb?
ten.
one to run out to obtain a more distinctive and quirky lightbulb.
one to do an offbeat economic analysis of whether the cost of increased lumens equals the brilliance of the illuminated students.
one to research the history of pressed siica and sand in ancient Persia and its development into contemporary glass.
one to make a speech at the american enterprise institute on how the need for electric illumination has diminished intellectual rigor in the academy.
one to score a million dollar DOD grant to study the speed and track of particles in the light bulb to discern their potential for innovative government "devices".
one to write the next great american novel about a former grad student and a retired hyde park professor musing on the nature of lightness and the meaning of life while arguing on EL platforms
two to start a debate on the preference for GE softlites or Phillips Lifelight.
one Collegiate Scholar from the neighborhood who stuck the bulb in and ot the job done.
and one other stressed freshman who didn't notice what was going on.....</p>