<p>Ok so basically the story goes: My dad and stepmom and I have been planning our move-in week next fall for pretty much this whole semester. (I know it's early, but my college is so far away we really have to decide everything ahead of time, plus we're just excited hehe.) But then my mom randomly drops a bomb on me that SHE has planned my move-in week, where me, her, and my sister drive all the way to Pennsylvania. Ick. </p>
<p>So basically, aside from advice, how did you handle moving in? Did both parents come or just one? Was it awkward? Did anyone have to tell a parent they'd rather have the other one come with? </p>
<p>My mother had always had plans to move me in, but she lived in Florida and my dad lived in Wisconsin, which is where my school is. My parents are somewhat civil at least around me and I planned to include both of them in my move, until my mother couldn’t get off work to fly up, so the decision resolved itself.</p>
<p>I’d say you might want to ask your parents if they could manage to be civil for just one day - and if they can’t, whoever has the problem can choose not to come.</p>
<p>No, honestly, I just didn’t expect her to want to. If you knew her, you’d understand, she’d much rather spend the week camping with all her friends. And my sister has to work 6-7 days a week, so I didn’t/don’t expect her to be able to even if she wants to. </p>
<p>Anyhow, I’m sure it will sort itself out, I’m just curious if anyone else has gone through similar situations, since it’s not really the topic of any college board articles lol.</p>
<p>Talk with your Mom. Talk with your Dad. Find a compromise that doesn’t leave one of them with hurt feelings. You may also want to discuss future plans for your academic breaks now rather than wait until they come up–for instance, Will you go home to your Mom’s house, to your Dad’s house, or alternate between the two?</p>
<p>My parents are also divorced and my father has remarried. When I went off to college, both parents assumed they would be the ones moving me in and NEVER discussed it with each other. So when the day came, it was very awkward. I drove up with my mom and my dad and step mom met me there. Unfortunately, the college I was going to was my step mom’s alma matter. Naturally, she practically dominated the “move in” experience and wanted to point out every little detail about the campus. When it was time to say goodbyes, my mom was clearly upset/sad. She left crying (and it wasn’t because I was going off to college – rather that she had looked forward to this day so long and didn’t get to share it with me). I still feel terrible to this day.</p>
<p>Me, my divorced parents, and my stepmom made the 13 hour drive together. It wasn’t awkward. I realize my family is probably not normal hahaha but everyone gets along well and it worked fine for us. But I must say, I laugh when I think about how the three of them had to drive back together haha.</p>
<p>As for orientation, my mom had taken me to visit the school in January so my dad took me to orientation, which was at the beginning of the summer. It was really the ideal situation, they each got to see the campus before I moved in, without me having to choose one over the other.</p>
<p>Even if your mom couldn’t come she might have wanted to have been asked. I would see if there is any way to compromise. Parents always say that move in day is about us and not about them, but I don’t know how much I agree with that-- for us it seems like a big deal at the time but in hindsight I think parents hold on to the emotions from that day a lot longer, for us once that day is over it’s no longer a big deal but I think it means something more to them. Even if it’s inconvenient it would be nice if there was a way to make everybody happy, or at least minimize the unhappiness.</p>
<p>Is there a Family Day sometime around October? We found that the younger siblings enjoyed that much more than move-in day, and the “sell” point is: I’ll be all moved in by then, settled and proud to show you around, you can meet some of my new friends…</p>
<p>Maybe you, Dad and stepMom can do the move-in, and ask Dad not to come for Family Weekend so it’s clear. Then warmly invite Mom and sibling to come visit you then. That also avoids the long car drive which you mentioned you don’t look forward to with your Mom and sib. </p>
<p>Just a thought. I think there are more entertaining things to do on Family Weekend than on Orientation (others disagree). Orientation and move-in time is confusing for siblings, and not as much fun as Family Weekend, IMO.</p>
<p>My dad went with me on the initial tour of the college, so my mom helped me move in since she hadn’t seen the school yet. My parents still get along, though.</p>
<p>Most high school/college classmates with divorced parents started planning for the “move-in day” months in advance by having discussions and hashing out everything in detail to minimize any possible misunderstandings. The best cases were ones where the divorced parents put aside their differences and acted “civil” for the sake of their college-aged kid. Some where this civility wasn’t possible so they hashed out an agreement where one or the other parent would go up for the move-in with the other parent either visiting on parents’ weekend or on some other weekend/break. </p>
<p>In the worst cases, the college-aged child of divorced parents simply left their parents completely out of the equation by arranging the move-in completely by themselves or with the help of other relatives and/or friends. </p>
<p>Though my parents weren’t divorced, I ended up moving-in alone because the LAC was too far away and my parents couldn’t afford the airfare and time-off from work to come at the time.</p>