" And she has a 159 on her PSATs (translates to a 1590 on SATs)." - So do you mean 1590/2400? Or did you just do you own math/verbal subtotal (ie 1590/1600) ?
Hi @AsleepAtTheWheel! Thank you so much for the good info. We have been down a long long road and I am so frustrated as to what is next. Loonngg story but fast forward…we took D to a psychiatrist who specializes in adhd to see if we should do a trial med. She was the one who said D is borderline… ie…has some of the symptoms of adhd but not enough to say definitely. She is hesitant to put her on meds bcz she has anxiety from common middle school complaints and said the meds can make anxiety worse and maybe thus is why she is inattentive etc. so one of the issues we are fixing is we are switching schools. But I am exhausted. She does have an audio processing issue which can relate to her inattentive and executive functions. We see the psych tomorrow in fact and will be talking about med again bcz my hubby agrees with your thinking and I’m cool with it. I just want to see her succeed in life but it seems like such an uphill battle.
@cakeisgreat, I want to say something useful. Can I say “I understand”? You are taking on a lot. I hope you are able to periodically reconnect with your husband as a couple and get some time to rejuvenate away from the issues:
Hang in there. You are really helping your daughter and she will appreciate it in the end!
@cakeisgreat, my D also has anxiety and ADHD. In fact, she was in therapy for the anxiety for a couple years before we put it together and realized the ADHD/executive functioning issues were a contributing factor to the anxiety. It is true that ADHD meds can ramp up anxiety and we had to switch D’s meds last winter when her anxiety increased. BUT her current meds seem to be fine. Medication is not a magic wand but it has helped my D. Good luck to you!
My son had issues with executive functioning skills and we had him try nuerofeedback therapy. It’s sounds a little weird when you read what it entails, but it worked wonders for him.
@vamominvabeach, we had issues with persistence. NF seemed to work for 2-3 days, but we were never able to get the effects to ‘stick’ for longer than that. What sort of NF did you use (brand name). I know it also depends a bit on the practitioner, and of course on the subject. 
My D has anxiety, depression, misophonia and exec functioning issues. Possibly some inattentive ADD. It’s exhausting. Meds have helped somewhat with the anxiety/depression and i just wish she would do better self-care of the things she can control. She is taking a gap year but I assume we will be looking for supportive colleges although at this point I can’t see her there, even though she has tested as gifted and spent a year in a rigorous boarding school, her grades have fallen so much due to outside the classroom issues.
Wow thanks guys for all the support, info, and showing me that we are not alone in this. Believe it or not, I learned the words executive functions from another thread awhile ago here on cc.
Saw the psych today and we are leaning towards the meds to try to see if works. D really doesn’t want to do bcz she things she can handle without meds, so we are baby stepping and giving it till end of year…gear up for next school year. It’s all new to her and us to cuz it took five years to even get here (the long story I didn’t add before so as not to bore you).
This was the perfect thread to remind me that others are going through same thing…and there is still hope that she can succeed and be happy! Thank you again!!!
I don’t know the brand name of the type of nuerofeedback that my son had. His practitioner has been doing this type of therapy for many years and is very experienced.
The two most recent studies published in reputable journals that I’m aware of regarding neurofeedback therapy in the treatment of ADHD failed to show that it had any benefits.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/24021501/
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jcpp.12143/abstract
I don’t doubt that there are some kids who appear to have responded to this sort of therapy, but the randomized controlled studies simply don’t support its effectiveness. Doesn’t necessarily mean that it doesn’t work, but it’s not yet been shown to work.
@cakeisgreat – I think it’s exceedingly common that kids don’t want to try medication for ADHD. My 19 y.o. son fully and explicitly appreciates the benefits that he gets from his meds, but even after nine years he still resists taking them. We have had innumerable discussions about it. It’s stigmatizing. It makes him feel like he’s ‘mental’, i.e., that he has a mental illness. Other kids don’t need them, why should he? It makes him different. Etc., etc.
These are difficult discussions. In fact, he does have a mental illness. No way around it. But he did nothing to deserve it. At least it’s a disease that responds to medication. But there are no simple answers here.
My son could skate by on his smarts alone until he got to high school. Then there were kids just as smart as him, but who also were organized and worked hard. It didn’t matter how much he tried to be organized, to not procrastinate, to not drift off somewhere else when he was sitting at his desk trying to do his homework. It wasn’t that he didn’t try hard enough. He simply couldn’t do it. With the help of medication, he can.
For most teens and young adults with ADHD the symptoms do decrease as they get older. You can tell your daughter that trying the meds doesn’t mean that she’ll be on them forever, but rather that they’ll help her learn how to put all sorts of things together in ways that will make her life easier and relieve much of the anxiety that she feels on a day to day basis.
Lots of heartache for us parents with kids like this, but as I tell my son, he’s not a bad person trying to get good. He’s just a kid trying to get well.
My ADHD inattentive DS wanted to try meds. When he learned that he had ADHD inattentive, and that his attention and apparent lack of motivation was biological and not something as a fault of his personality or laziness, he was definitely excited to try it make his brain work more like other people’s brains.
And yes, it worked for the inattention. But only mild improvement with the EF difficulties. But at least the meds puts him in the right frame of mind to want to try to tackle the EF difficulties with behavior modifications and external organizing structures.
Getting on meds was more of a battle with my DH, who wanted my DS to try to muscle through. However, I am a physician and also had ADHD hyperactive so I don’t think that DH can really understand what it is like to be on the other side.
As a side note, on the National Institutes of Mental Health webpage, there was a large, multicenter study of effects of meds alone, behavior modification alone, or both together. Results was that both slightly outperformed meds alone which hugely outperformed behavior therapy alone. So it is important to work on both meds and behavior therapy in order to maximize treatment for this medical condition which we call ADHD.
As someone who was diagnosed with ADD (as it was called back then) but refused to take meds, I can understand the reticence of some kids to try them. I never did, and struggled a bit. I sometimes wish I had taken them.
Anyway, one of my kids now has significant ADHD issues, too. She tried a couple of meds and they were not as effective as we had hoped. After getting on Vivance (sp?) she has shown marked improvement. She told me one day-
“Dad, it’s amazing how much you can learn when you pay attention in class”. I told her that I thought she always paid attention in class and took copious notes. She said that she did take tons of notes, but couldn’t focus on what the prof was saying, so she was missing the context.
I also wonder about the correlation and interplay between ADHD, anxiety, depression, etc. They really seem to be linked in many of the people whom I talk to.
No great advice here, but wanted to join in the conversation, as another parent of an ADD/high anxiety kid. In my case she is a senior who after getting into college is falling apart academically. She just started anti-anxiety meds, which I’m hoping will reduce the stress so that she can focus on schoolwork. It does seem ironic that ADD meds can worsen anxiety, which as TV4caster says, is so often interrelated with ADD. I’d love my daughter to take a gap year, but she really wants to leave home, and it’s hard to find programs which have some structure but don’t cost an arm and a leg! (Also, I’m not sure that her grades are good enough for deferral). I agree with everyone who says to check out the learning resources of any colleges that are of interest before making a decision.
Hi. I know I’m late to the game. I am considering enrolling my son in a postgraduate ( high school ) program at the Forman School in Connecticut. They are a boarding school that specializes in ADHD and LD students. They offer a year after graduation where students work on skills ( including executive functioning ) in prep for college. He attended their summer program and it is awesome. Great alternative for kids who aren’t quite ready for college but want to keep momentum and increase skills.
Back to school strategy/possibility: One suggestion from S’s best friend who was ADHD (and the meds were a great help to him). He attended UMD, but decided to take 5 years rather than 4 to complete his undergrad degree. It meant he could take fewer classes each semester and that reduced his stress level and the amount he had to stay on top of. It was a very successful strategy for him - he got his degree in a tech area (not sure if it was engineering or comp sci) and is working happily in data security now. (And yes, another vote for the semester system over the quarter system - there’s 50% more ‘moving parts’ with the quarter system which adds complexity.)
If you are a MD resident, check out St. Mary’s College of Md, the public LAC on the banks of the Chesapeake. Nice campus and only a little more than UMD’s tuition.
The College Board offers accommodations you might want to check out, that is, if the student has accommodations at school. You have to allow a couple of months for an answer so apply in advance.
There are schools with special programs but as someone said, your daughter can apply wherever she wants and then apply for accommodations or avail herself of supports. Most people don’t meet with the disability office before applying and it is not necessary to mention ADHD at all in the application.
I was thinking of Curry and also New England College in NH. Endicott and Quinnipeac. Lesley. Goucher maybe (In Baltimore).
Things work out, they really do.
p.s. there is no real test for ADHD. Generally a questionnaire is used for patient and parent (which can be found online). A psychiatrist or other professional can diagnose it, however, and this can serve as documentation. I suggest writing a letter yourself with a list of accommodations wanted (these can also be found online, and include single room, reduced course load, extensions on papers, exams in a separate room, and so on.)
I’m a pediatrician and have seen a good deal of patients with ADHD/ADD. Some take meds, some do not. I’ve seen a good couple of kids do very well at LACs. The small class sizes and better opportunities to form relationships with professors who could allow accommodations for them were really helpful. Two really liked Macalester, though that’s a but far.