College roommate is strange or normal?

College Life
1

I was randomly assigned a roommate last semester and we shared a room together. I moved in two days before she moved in so I had the chance to pick which side of the room I wanted. Two days later, I had come in and I saw that the linen on the bed was neatly placed and she had already moved in but she wasn’t there. I didn’t see her until the next day when she had opened the door, walked in and had her head down and walked straight onto her side of the room to drop the rest of her things off. She didnt even make eye contact with me or acknowledge me until I said something and greeted her.

Of course she had greeted me back and we introduced one another. After that simple introduction and getting to know her, I realized that she was never in the room, she would come in and out to drop or get her things and never come back. She would reappear again a day later for a few seconds and then leave, never be seen again until the next day. I realized that she worked and had to go to school so I figured she was busy but she would never sleep at the dorm until about month later, in which she slept there for about a week. One night I was washing my hands and the sink is in between our side of the room, she told me that her parents were coming and if I didn’t mind that they’re coming, then I said I didn’t mind. She asked that we did not talk very much after our introduction and some casual conversations here and there to be friendly. I said that I did not talk very much and apologized. She had looked down on her phone and I left the room.

After that, she disappeared again for several days until she returned to make food in the room. I realized that she had bought foods and would eat ramen in the room and clogged our sink because she’d dump the ramen water in the sink and the bits of noodles clogged our sink. When I saw the noodles in the sink, I kindly told her that I hope we could keep the sink unclogged and not leave anything in there to clog the sink, she looked at me and glared then walked away. Ever since then, I figured that my roommate was someone that either refused to communicate or did not want to communicate.

I refused to say a word to her.

She disappeared again and would continue to come in and out of the room to get some books and things but never stay there.

Either that or she’d come home after 5pm and she’d sleep for 3 hours and leave at midnight and never to return until the next day or the day after that.

I noticed that she would sleep throughout the day and then leave at midnight.

Two months has passed and she’s barely stayed there besides that one week that she stayed, she decided to stay in the dorm for a week again. This time, all she does is sleep and her sleeping schedule is strange. She’d sleep from 6pm to 10pm sometimes and then leave at midnight or wake up really early. She would disappear again and did not stay there until a month later, almost the end of the semester.

She decided to stay there for a week. I saw her asleep at 10pm when I washed my hands and turned off all the lights to go to sleep as well. I had waken up at 3:30am because I heard her leaving her bed and the only thing that was on was her computer monitor, which she had left open. I saw her standing on the side of her bed and was bending down as if she was doing something and looking down with her hair facing down. I had stood there to see what she was doing and she slowly stopped what she was doing and slowly tilted her head to my direction to look at me. Then after she saw me and realized I was there, she had this blank look on her face and tilted her head back down very slowly. She then stood up and reached for something in her table and I went back to bed. When I checked back on her again, she was back in bed.

She moves so silently and barely makes a sound, she’s also very considerate but a bit strange.

What do you think?

2

Gosh this story makes me want to get my son a dorm with a private bedroom of his own!

This roommate situation sounds really unpleasant. She sounds truly weird. Also it seems that she has some unusual life and schedule, if she’s not living in the dorm room on a regular basis. I think you can request a change of roommate if they are bothering you, and I probably would do that if I were in your shoes.

Good luck!

3

Very odd. Perhaps you can arrange a new living situation for next semester. I would be very uncomfortable with someone like the person you describe. This is not normal.

4

Sometimes you have to put out effort to have better communications with people.

5

Aside from the weird mystery and the ramen in the sink you have a dream roommate: never there. You have the room sort of to yourself but I guess she shows up when you least expect her. She must have a boyfriend somewhere she’s staying with. Or she’s a vampire.

Just try to be as pleasant as you can be and don’t let on you think she’s odd. I would stay pleasant and say things such as “bye, I’m going to class,” even though she will not reply or tell you when she walks out she’ll be back in five minutes or two days. If you stay pleasant, light hearted and friendly maybe she will stop feeling you judging her. Somewhere there’s probably a guy who’s upset that his girlfriend stays in their room every single night except when they are fighting.

6

Yeah that’s strange. Where did she disappeared to? Is she working at night or something?
Maybe the next time you should follow her and see where she disappeared to. (just kidding!)

7

She might have a disability, like Asperger’s, that makes it difficult for her to communicate with people. Or just be super introverted with poor social skills. I wouldn’t worry about it – you get close to having a single. Find someone else to room with next year.

8

Is there a reason you can’t ask her what’s going on?

9

This is how I took it. My roommate and I rarely talk and are pretty much ghosts, but it works for us. We both keep everything clean, don’t make a mess, and are quiet enough not to wake each other up when we’re up late. Some people might call this kind of relationship strange, but it’s similar to you and your roommate and my roommate and I think it’s completely normal.

10

As someone who generally prefers quiet and had to live with a super loud and inconsiderate roommate her freshman year, your roommate sounds like the kind of roommate I would’ve wanted, as far as her hardly being there goes. If it were me I’d stick with it unless some other issue comes up. If you’re not comfortable with it though, look into switching rooms. Even if you don’t switch rooms, you don’t have to live with her next year.

I’m guessing she has a boyfriend, as others have said. Two of my suitemates freshman year were hardly in the suite after the first couple days. We found out a couple weeks in that they were living with their boyfriends. One of them eventually officially moved out in the middle of spring quarter. The other one never officially moved out during the year, and move out day was the first time any of us had seen her since around October. Suffice it to say that their roommates were quite happy to essentially have a discounted single for the vast majority of the year.

11

“I had stood there to see what she was doing and she slowly stopped what she was doing and slowly tilted her head to my direction to look at me. Then after she saw me and realized I was there, she had this blank look on her face and tilted her head back down very slowly.”

That honestly reminded me of a scene from a horror movie

12

I have a kid with a learning disability who might have done this… no horror involved. Most likely a kid who was just thinking about something else, and didn’t know how to react when she realized someone else was there.

13

I completely agree intparent, there’s likely a good explanation involved, it was just the way it was written that caught my attention.

I was about to suggest that this not be a completely abnormal experience at all. For instance, I currently have a friend that is almost never in her room and can be missing quite a few days per week, but she is consistently out with other friends and comes back at abnormal hours due to theater/other commitments. My own roommate and I have a type of relationship where we both come back relatively late and take naps during the middle of the day. I don’t like spending time in the dorm unless it is to sleep. When I come home, I try not to wake him if possible, and we have this unspoken understanding in between one another despite not interacting a great deal. I would suggest talking and interacting with her if possible if it really concerns you. The line “I refused to say a word to her” after the ramen incident may be suggestive that you are making a bigger deal of the incident than she might have, and likely forgot about it.

If you are dissatisfied with your current situation, you could always transfer rooms, but if you have no other feelings about it, you could stick it out this semester because it looks like your roommate’s actions are mostly to herself and not directly impacting your life.

14

My theory is that she wanted to stay with her boyfriend/close friend in college because she has trouble socializing with new people. However, her parents wouldn’t let her and made her get a dorm to force her to be more social. Her solution is that she keeps stuff in the dorm and sleeps there when she needs to or when her parents come over, but otherwise she stays with the boyfriend/close friend. Either that or she’s a vampire.

15

Or…a lady of the night. :"> There are some college students that are doing this for the money.

16

^Awww. That would be so sad. :frowning: I hope not.

Anyway, if you’re uncomfortable with the living arrangements you can always change them. It doesn’t seem like a huge deal since she doesn’t really stay there all that much. (Although the Ramen is annoying - that would definitely clog a sink, lol!)

17

One summer I was randomly assigned a roommate. When I contacted her before I moved in, she told me that she was living with her boyfriend and wouldn’t actually be living there. I had the room to myself and never saw her. My guess is that her parents were paying for her housing and wouldn’t have approved of her living with her boyfriend. But I definitely didn’t mind.