<p>DS has high aspirations for going to an Ivy league. He has good grades and ECs. However, they are nothing like what I see posted in CC. My other concern is that I am not sure he will be able to compete with the caliber of students that I think go to these schools. I went to an Ivy league, and I know how stressful it is, and how much work you need to put in. He's no slacker, but he also doesn't put in the effort that I did when I applied and went to college. I am fine if he applies to other schools, and I don't want him to feel that he needs to go to an Ivy league school if he isn't really qualified. He is applying ED to my alma mater so he might get in as legacy (not sure how much the school places on legacy candidates). My dilemma is should I just let him apply since that is what he really wants and just let the admissions process play out? If he applies and gets in, will he be overwhelmed and then end up dropping out anyway? This is my first child going to college so I am a bit new to the whole admissions process and what admissions really look for in candidates. Also, are all students that are getting into Ivy leagues the super achievers that I see here in CC? Or is this a small population of students that are very focused and committed?</p>
<p>The schools won’t accept him unless they feel he can succeed.</p>
<p>If he doesn’t have the inner drive and the grades/scores, being a legacy won’t make a difference unless you intend to fund a new building on campus. Develop a list of matches and safeties along with your alma mater and other reaches. Go on the campus visits and keep reading the CC posts. Good luck!</p>
<p>You would be surprised at how the slacker kid can step it up if they need to. Just make sure he has match and safety schools he is willing to attend and you can afford… Odds are that he won’t get in anyway. But if he does and wants to go, I say let him. Both of my kids surprised me by kicking into a higher gear once they got to college.</p>
<p>Thanks for the responses. He has a list of safety schools that he is applying too as well. I asked him today and he said he would be OK attending those if he didn’t get into his first choice school. </p>
<p>Please do not fall victim to the extreme nature of the posts on CC. It would have you believe that everyone is a 4.5 student scoring a 36 on the ACT and a 2400 SAT. I have been told by some administrators at very prestigious schools to stay away from CC, many consider it a bad source of information. Having said that, I find a lot of info on here useful, and try to sincerely be helpful and believe many people do. But you have to know it is so easy to lie on forums…some people hope you won’t apply to a school so post discouraging information that is probably also inaccurate. Now that I am sending my third to college and following this for awhile, I will say the most misleading info on here is about the grades/scores one has to have to get into certain schools. Crazy kids/parents posting about a 2300+ on the SAT or an A minus like it is a bad thing is ridiculous. The other extreme topic is what is acceptable to borrow to attend college. That is highly personal. To some 5K is an insurmountable amount of debt while to others 250k debt is nothing. Gotta keep perspective when you read this forum and pick the good from the nonsense, but don’t let any of it determine certain actions. Please do not discourage your kid to try something or apply anywhere based on what you read here. It’s not all evil, don’t mean to sound that way, but it is a forum, so have to keep that in perspective.</p>
<p>For example a 30 on the ACT puts you in the top 5% of the population, a 31 in the top 3%, a 32 is top 2% and 33-36 in the top 1%. But according to a lot of posts on this forum, if you had a 30-33 you should go to community college. Don’t buy into it and good luck!</p>
<p>The greatest life lessons are the personal mistakes. Let him have them.
I have a d. who is opposite, I did not interfere, but I presented her with the college list which I knew will work for her and it did. I guess, at this point of the game we have to follow their wishes and let them have their experiences. My D. knew that some programs that she applied will reject her. It was great to see her just shrugging her sholders when she received few rejections. I just absolutely loved her reaction. She ended up at UG where she belonged, was very happy and very very successful. It was her original #2 program. Few years later while at Med. School, she mentioned that thank goodness she did nto get into her #1, she would have missed out in a lot of aspects of UG experiences…
You never know, let them fall and rise and be human with all that it includes…</p>
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<p>Can’t imagine how she would KNOW this…since she didn’t attend that #1 college.</p>
<p>Kids tend to thrive where they land. The college experience they HAVE is the one they usually delight in sharing, and having.</p>
<p>Let him apply ED, but prepare applications to his matches and safeties “just in case” (and have him apply to one rolling admission school to have that one safety in hand).
However, for what it’s worth, if your Alma Mater is a prestigious school that is always cited on CC, then don’t worry - they don’t let kids whom they admit, fail. Kids they admit graduate, not drop out due to difficulty - the resources to help kids who meet problems are great. 
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<p>Ivy admission is very tough. But I’m under the impression that many top schools, not just Ivy, require very hard work. Don’t’ avoid Ivy based solely on concerns of stress. </p>
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<p>That is because they probably focus on their own school threads, which have a lot of students and wanna be students posting on them. Plus, it is very hard for them to control their marketing message out here! Which is pretty much all for the best for the prospective student. But the strongest value in CC is in things like the financial aid forums, generating a list of possible colleges, getting advice on summer programs, etc. </p>
<p>Hard work do not need to be resulting in stress. Hard work is to have fun later and we did, still remember. For some reason the vision of D. walking in her high heels to her interview right in front of me on a road covered with ice, no spot that you can step safely, is stuck in my brain forever and ever, in the brain that cannot remember anything at all. We laugh sometime remembering all of it. And that was on her face coming out of those interviews - smile from ear to ear. These interviews were for the programs that are considered more selective than Ivy’s, but I do not have idea if it is true or not. D. ended up at one that accepted only 10 kids.
Being stresses out never brings positive results. Work hard then relax and have fun. You want nice memories for the rest of your life, funny memories that make you smile…</p>
<p>Could someone please translate post 11 for me?</p>
<p>I agree that a college, especially a super selective one, will only accept students that they are confident can and will succeed in their program. Unless have your name on a building, the legacy status will likely give your child a slight advantage over similar non-legacy applicants but it won’t lead a school to accept a person who doesn’t belong. </p>
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<p>While that may be true for the most selective colleges, which are overflowing with applicants whom they can be confident will succeed at the college, that may not be true lower down the selectivity ladder. For example, open admission community colleges’ mission is to give everyone another chance, despite some having poor high school records. They presumably know that some will succeed but others will not, but they admit all to give all another chance.</p>
<p>The OP is talking about Ivy League schools. Honestly, I don’t think he will get accepted at an Ivy unless the school feels he will succeed there.</p>
<p>@ucbalumnus – What you say is true about a CC type of school but my response was meant direct response OP’s concern about her child potentially getting into an Ivy League (or super selective as I put in my answer) school as a legacy and being concerned that he may not be up to the level of work there. I’m sorry if the context of my answer was not clear.</p>
<p>It’s a myth that everyone accepted at the most selective schools is a 2300 4.0 student. Unless you donate millions of dollars, a selective school will not accept your child unless they are confident that he can succeed there. Schools are concerned about retention, so if he is accepted, don’t worry. Students who want to succeed work hard, whether it is at an Ivy or at their state flagship. Nothing wrong with hard work!</p>