<p>Unfortunately, bad or good feelings often are wrong. And sometimes just packing them off to college does do the trick. My boys are an example. For some reason, living at our home is just not a good environment for them. </p>
<p>However, I do think parents should have grades and medical bills mailed to the student at home and get a written release from the student that these items are to go to the parent and that the parent has express permission to open and examine that information. And a parent should be aware about when the grades come out. A former neighbor of ours visited a college, tried to contact a friend's son there, only to find out unbeknowst to the parents, the young man was no longer a registered student. You can live very well on $40K net per year. He had apparently collected a tuition reimbursement from the school after dropping his courses. Did not get around to telling the parents. So these things do happen. </p>
<p>But as for your friend's son, I think your friend needs to have some professional help in assessing and dealing with the issue. Can't force the kid to go to any meaningful therapy, but the Dad can stop becoming an enabler for the kids's behavior. Unfortunately, once a kid is 18, he is legally an adult, and the options available are limited for intervention. You can withdraw your support with certain options left open for the kid to come back into the fold but you cannot scoop him up and carry him in until he has pretty much bottomed out. I hope your friend comes to some resolution with himself in how to deal with his kid. It can be a tough situation.</p>