<p>As Cangel wisely said, "they get bad impressions of schools for the oddest of reasons. And you can't talk them out of it."</p>
<p>But going off to college at 17 or 18 is always a bit of a leap of faith and the kid has to feel some reason to connect with a school to make that leap. Visiting gives them feedback that leads them to be able to say yay or nay with some degree (perhaps misplaced) of confidence.</p>
<p>My husband once read an article that said that a prospective student knows within the first 17 seconds of stepping onto a college campus whether or not it appeals to him/her. This really did prove true for our daughter. We visited many colleges during her junior year in high school and the summer of that same year. Often, she would announce that we didn't even need to bother attending the info session at several of them. She just had a "feeling" about the campus suiting her needs without even hearing a presentation. Of course, we were very disappointed many times, especially when visiting our alma maters!!!</p>
<p>Yes...they get their impressions for the oddest reasons. DD HATED U of Richmond and said she wasn't getting out of the car. Mind you, we hadn't even driven THROUGH the college entrance gates (so it didn't even take her 17 seconds). We were just looking at the sign. "What don't you like...the red bricks and pink petunias", I said. She said...she hated the place and there was no reason to go on the tour. Well...she went anyway...and still hated it in the end (too conservative she said...and I will add that the info session was the WORST we have seen in all of our visits with both of our kids). She hated Claremont McKenna (kids were snotty, she said). She hated Pepperdine (everyone looks the same). Now...I also have no idea why she LIKES the schools she likes (no explanation..."I like this").</p>
<p>
[quote]
but the difference between a Reed and Colgate on paper is much less than the reality.
[/quote]
Perfect ... the best way to feel and appreciate (or not) the culture of a school is to visit the school ... and staying overnight with students only heightens the experience!</p>
<p>D is currently attending (and loving) a college that was not even on her list prior to the visit. We visited it mostly because it was nearby her then number 1 school. Even though we visited in summer, it was enough to move that school from nowhere to up near the top of her list. The former number 1 slid back to the middle of the list.</p>
<p>You have no idea how relieved I am to read that other parents' kids also took an immediate dislike to a school. I was so frustrated, concerned and anguished in the Spring of her Junior year year when on our first trip, my D would say almost immediately upon driving onto a campus that she didn't like it. A few times I made her go through the tour anyway, but that never changed her view, so I eventually stopped. By the end of the trip when she told me, "I don't want to even go there to see those schools. Let's go to ___", I just called the motels, cancelled the reservations, turned the car around and headed the other way.</p>
<p>Of course, the corollary to that is, that Fall she applied to Colgate, a school, along with Hamilton she didn't even want to visit. After she was accepted, she went up there to check it out and.....she starts next month.</p>
<p>My son will be a junior this year and I'm trying to at least plant the thought of college in his head.</p>
<p>This past weekend we were at Indiana U for a golf tournament. We stayed overnight as he had an early tee time Monday morning. I decided since we were staying right next to campus, we should see it. All I was going to do was drive through on our way to dinner. He would have nothing to do with it. I told him he was going to have to apply to at least just one in-state university (and based on his grades and scores and our financial situation, that may be the best option) and to at least just look around at the IU campus (without ever leaving the car, mind you). Nothing doing - he even refused to look out the car window.</p>
<p>Now IU is a really pretty campus with Indiana limestone buildings, lots of trees, rolling hills. But as we drove through, and I pointed out things like - that's the library - he kept saying: I'm not looking, I'm not going to school here.</p>
<p>Well, at least there's a few more in-state schools for him to check out!</p>
<p>Student, not parent, but I might be helpful. :)</p>
<p>Wheaton (MA) was pretty high on my list until I visited. Now, I wouldn't consider going there if they were paying me tuition. I found absolutely nothing I liked about the school, and plenty of things that were huge, huge turn-offs, including their student body. I liked their admissions staff, but they won't be getting an application from me.</p>
<p>With Smith, I didn't care too much for some of the administrators I met on my first visit, but I loved everything else enough to plan another visit up there for spring. Even though it didn't go as perfectly as I'd imagined, especially with the massive downpour that cancelled most of the day's activities, the experience gave me a lot of new questions to ask next time I go up.</p>
<p>I was rather ambivalent about UConn, my (literal) guaranteed admission safety school, but after having an academic visit (rather than my usual visits for sports, friends, or concerts), I realize it's an amazing place where I'd probably be really happy should it come to that. Even though it's still not my top pick, I'm also not looking at it as "just" a safety anymore. I'm glad I had my eyes opened the way I did.</p>
<p>Visits definitely make a difference. I'm 99% sure I won't be applying to any colleges I haven't visited first. I also know there's no way I could apply ED to a college without visiting it first, and I cringe whenever I see others doing that. I know how much visits can change things, even with "perfect" schools (like Wheaton; what was I thinking?!), so I strongly encourage everyone else to visit schools whenever possible. Yes, they do make a difference. :)</p>
<p>Oh, and for what it's worth, I am visiting some schools that I'm not totally decided on yet, including Binghamton, Geneseo, and Rochester. I think it's really important to give some schools a shot, because just like I've decided that some "perfect" schools aren't really that, I know others might be perfect and I just haven't realized it yet. Don't just tour the definites.</p>
<p>I was thinking about this thread and what I wrote - the junior/ early senior visits, and the reactions to the colleges for many teens (for my daughter) were not what we as adults think a visit should be about. The senior admitted visit, and for her, the overnight just before ED deadline, were more like an adult evaluative visit.
Put yourself in their shoes - you're 16 years old, barely 16 in DD's case, people have been talking abstractly for years about college, how much fun they had, where you could go, "When you get to college ..." - but it is not real. Even paging through viewbooks and perusing websites or going to meetings at school just isn't real. But at some point on that junior trip, Mom asking "how do you like this", or realizing that they have a Chik-Fil-A in the food court, it hits home that YOU are going to leave home forever.
It may occur in the car between College A and College B, and the kid (Lord knows he's not going to verbalize this, he probably doesn't realize what he's feeling himself) is dealing with this is really going to happen - all at once - no wonder he hates College B.</p>
<p>Senior visits are different - they really do grow up a lot senior year, a lot of that change is simply coming to terms with leaving, both the good stuff and the bad. That change allowed my child at least to approach the senior visits much more as an adult would, not quite as emotional and moody.</p>
<p>Silly question: What does "DD" mean? I'm still figuring out all of these CC acronyms. There should be a list somewhere (or someone should point me to it :p).</p>
<p>You want a thread? We've got a thread! Hey, you got the smiley face down already!</p>
<p>My DD (Darling Daughter or Dearest Daughter, for beginning) refused to get out of the car at Amherst, walked out of the admissions office at Bryn Mawr, spent three hours at Haverford... and only visited Reed after I <em>made</em> her visit. (What I said at the time was "you're applying to a lot of east coast liberal arts schools. Reed is an east coast liberal arts school that happens to be in Portland, Oregon, one of the coolest cities ever. You like cities. At least check it out.") The fact that the Admissions Office had its own cat (food in the corner and everything) sold her on the place, strangely enough. She's very happy at Reed.</p>
<p>IMHO (In My Humble (ha!) Opinion), visiting the campus is essential. OTOH (On The Other Hand), DS never visited either CalTech or MIT. "It doesn't matter what it looks like, Mom, it's all about the education." He said he'd visit only if he got into both of them.</p>
<p>Visiting schools is a must. #2D and I spent 3 weeks visiting schools in June. (We're from the bowels of the South and can only do this in one fell swoop). Anyway, trip was mostly fun and D clicked at three schools.</p>
<p>I'd offer two bits of advice. #1 Be flexible. We ended up modifying the schedule and it worked out fine. (She eliminated schools in one entire state because she thought they drank too much). Oh yeah.</p>
<h1>2 Travel with a GPS navigation system. Saves a lot of heartache. D#1 still says I ruined UPenn for her because it took me 45 minutes to find the campus.</h1>
<p>Given the vague answers our children give us when we ask whether they liked a certain college, it will be quite interesting to peek at their "Why ABC college?" essays.</p>
<p>But at some point on that junior trip, Mom asking "how do you like this", >></p>
<p>Cangel, this brings up something that I learned early on with my daughter: Mom asking "how do you like this?" at any time during the visit almost always meant D. would decide a school wasn't for her. The times I kept my mouth shut (admittedly difficult :)), stepped back, and just let her experience things on her own were the most successful college visits. After a while I started insisting she spend time exploring on her own at every school while I went off to the bookstore or library
If all of the schools on her list weren"t so far from home I would have encouraged her to do a few tours completely on her own too</p>
<p>Yeah, Carolyn, Mom saying "How do you like that one" could in actuality be something as innocuous as "Soo...", or "Look at that car" or "Do you want to get a sandwich in the dining hall or student union" or, after a really bad day, "Please hand me the map". Mom's best bet is to have no opinion or comment on anything until at least after a week.
Unfortunately, we must find out how true your excellent advice is on our own, sometimes even Moms cannot be taught ;).</p>
<p>I learned to not directly ask but to judge D's reaction to a college by whether she bought a T-shirt at the bookstore. Every school that passed the T-shirt test ended up getting an app from her.</p>
<p>I'm with Carolyn in the thinking that the best way for a kid to get the feel of a campus is to have them wander around on their own. S would take a book and sit on a bench or in the Student Union and observe. Kids always came up to him asking if the book was good or what class he was reading it for and a conversation would be started. It was a great way for him to picture himself as part of the school.</p>
<p>I'm still trying to figure DD out. How could she NOT like Stanford or Wellesley after visiting????!!!!!!! I mean, her dad and I love them! ;)</p>
<p>I actually had dreams over a period of several nights about being a new student at Wake Forest after touring with our daughter her junior year. Because it was Mom's alma mater, however, she would have nothing to do with the place!</p>
<p>The school she chose was the one whose info session and general reception seemed the coldest of all we visited to both her dad and me.</p>
<p>She apparently knew what she liked and couldn't have had a better freshman year.</p>