<p>Before I arrived to college, I had this very exciting and romanticized version of what college would be like; I would meet other weirdos like me, we would eat Philly Steak Sandwiches after midnight, and it would be one the most memorable times of my life! But unfortunately, that is not the case... I spend most of my time in my dorm, sometimes, just thinking. Thinking about friends back home, thinking about how much fun they're having without me and how I'm just miserable. Just to be clear, I was the only one who separated from the group and left for a college hundreds of miles away from my hometown. I just remember how much fun we had, maybe it's nostalgia talking, but they were one the coolest group of people I've ever met. I could be myself and I was comfortable. They were nerds, I was a nerd, and we enjoyed being nerds together. I don't know if it's me or if I chose the wrong college, but I haven't found any "close" friends yet. I don't know. I just wish had at least one person to talk to, who also thinks college is overrated.</p>
<p>i think the problem is you are holding onto your friends from high school/ home way too much. I think it would be very beneficial if you left your dorm room. You can’t make friends if you are in your room and just thinking. I know it 's hard to get out there, but once you do it will make college so much better. Believe me, you will find your college friends group they are out there! If you have a student center go check it out to see what clubs are going on during the week. Pick at least 3 clubs and go to the meetings and meet people. Just get out of your dorm room or it will only get worse. Of course your friends from home will still be around during break so you can fill them in on all the new friends you have made when you see them next. good luck!</p>
<p>Have you heard of a guidebook to the first year in college called “The Naked Roommate”? Google it and consider getting a copy. It describes experiences like yours and how to move beyond them. You are not the only one feeling this way and there are ways to neutralize your misery.You will find your place! Collegegurl gives good advice. I’m a parent, but I have a first year college student myself (he is hundreds of miles away, too). We’re rooting for you–don’t give up! </p>
<p>I think something many college freshman forget is that you didn’t meet your high school friends a few months before graduation. People don’t become close friends overnight. I would say that my “close friend” group didn’t solidify until the end of sophomore year.</p>
<p>It may look like others already have close friends but they don’t. They are getting there, but they’re not there and you still have plenty of time as well.</p>
<p>FWIW, I’m a second-semester sophomore and I am only now just starting to really “find” my friend group and connect with my fellow students. You get to know people by doing things, so I advise you to get out and find some clubs that you’re interested in. Chat with group members in your classes. Form study groups – it’s as easy as sending out a mass email saying “Anyone wanna study?” and then just waiting for replies. </p>
<p>I thought I would change the world the second I got to college freshman year. This isn’t how it works. Very, <em>very</em> few of your/our peers have life figured out. Everyone’s trying to meet like-minded people and find their passion, or whatever. You won’t be self-actualized until well after you leave college, so don’t worry about that. Worry about laying the groundwork and your ideal life will spring from that. Less thinking. Less worry. More doing.</p>
<p>You surprise yourself sometimes when you put yourself out there, or so I’ve learned anyway.</p>
<p>hey wiscongene is sounds like things are going pretty good for you. like a lot better than in the past and closer to normal and happy than you’ve been in a long time. that’s great.</p>
<p>at my school i picked up some stalkers so far - one anonymous, the other a potential friend who instead of becoming a friend like i’d hoped later became that which one fears to acquire most, a persistent stalker with a checkered mental health history - but no friends yet. it’s a wonder i acquired any stalkers at all when i pretty much position myself as a complete loner. the anonymous stalker has left me alone (stayed anonymous which is what i prefer from my stalkers) while the other caused some havoc. i didn’t expect the cs grad student with the 4.0 gpa (he showed me his transcripts it was all A’s, twelve of them) who had internships at stanford, who started teaching intro classes this semester, who has many friends (mostly asians, but still, those count too, if only as fractions of friends) to get obsessed with ME, an undergrad student with a sub 2.0 gpa, who has no friends or life ambitions (self actualization is definitely an ambition even if its a personal one, but i don’t have any desire for that either) but he did. i cut off contact with him a week ago when things started to get out of hand so now i should be down to one stalker. unless he comes back, my internet friend i need to be careful about thinking anything like this was a permanent goodbye. he said that’s like saying “it’s over. Jason is dead” just to have him come crashing through the window saying “BLARRGH” and grab me. scary thought. oddly, i like the attention i got from stalkers overall. i guess when you don’t have any friends it’s second best.</p>
<p>hey wiscongene is sounds like things are going pretty good for you. like a lot better than in the past and closer to normal and happy than you’ve been in a long time. that’s great.</p>
<p>at my school i picked up some stalkers so far - one anonymous, the other a potential friend who instead of becoming a friend like i’d hoped later became that which one fears to acquire most, a persistent stalker with a checkered mental health history - but no friends yet. it’s a wonder i acquired any stalkers at all when i pretty much position myself as a complete loner. the anonymous stalker has left me alone (stayed anonymous which is what i prefer from my stalkers) while the other caused some havoc. i didn’t expect the cs grad student with the 4.0 gpa (he showed me his transcripts it was all A’s, twelve of them) who had internships at stanford, who started teaching intro classes this semester, who has many friends (mostly asians, but still, those count too, if only as fractions of friends) to get obsessed with ME, an undergrad student with a sub 2.0 gpa, who has no friends or life ambitions (self actualization is definitely an ambition even if its a personal one, but i don’t have any desire for that either) but he did. i cut off contact with him a week ago when things started to get out of hand so now i should be down to one stalker. unless he comes back, my internet friend i need to be careful about thinking anything like this was a permanent goodbye. he said that’s like saying “it’s over. Jason is dead” just to have him come crashing through the window saying “BLARRGH” and grab me. scary thought. oddly, i like the attention i got from stalkers overall. i guess when you don’t have any friends it’s second best.</p>