Colleges your child crossed off the list after visiting, schools that moved up on the list. Why?

Parents Forum
2281

Jumping on the uninvent something question, love it!

And because I am not sure I ever reviewed Wesleyan, my thoughts were that I liked it, despite, or maybe because of, a feeling of it being a bit of a mishmash. It very much felt as though little planning had been put into the layout, but rather, “we need a new building. Let’s put it…here (with eyes closed and finger on a random spot.)” I really like Wesleyan students, and back in the day, I think I would have loved to attend. The town is cute. D, however, was unimpressed and thought the baseball field in the middle of campus was weird. She didn’t care for the location either, which she thought was uninteresting and too close to home.

2282

@crepes I think our positive experience at Fairfield had a lot to do with our expectations going in, which were fairly low. D also had the impression about it being a school for the “lower half of the kids” from her school, and she also went in thinking the kids would be cliquish and preppy (based anecdotally on someone she knew who went there).

However, when we visited, she was impressed with their Honors Program. It’s very small (about 50 kids total, 25 who come in as freshmen and another 25 who can join as sophomores, if I remember correctly). She felt that those kids would be more focused academically, and she would get a lot of individual attention, research opportunities, etc. with the professors. I don’t think she would have considered the school if she was not chosen for the program.

She also thought the kids looked “normal.” Our tour guide didn’t stand out, but seemed plenty nice, I believe she had a senior student do her interview, which went fine, and the kids we saw walking around campus seemed happy to be there.

Good luck with your search!

2283

@crepes FWIW I went to Fairfield with both of my kids and neither one liked it at all. Felt preppy and bland to both. I thought it was a nice school especially with the EA option but was overruled.

2284

@Lindagaf

I think visitors through the 1950s would have found Wesleyan’s original, compact, 125 acre campus rather unremarkable for its time: an open-ended quadrangle facing the public street with an athletic field at its rear. However, that campus was barely able to support 900 students. Amherst and Williams were not much bigger at 1000 and 1100 students respectively. Growth in the post-Sputnik era presented challenges for all the surviving 19th century LACs, beginning with the fact that the great majority of them were single-sex institutions. For Wesleyan, it meant leap-frogging over the playing fields, and, though it might not be obvious, quite a lot of thought (not to mention, money) went into incorporating them, essentially, into a kind of multi-purpose quadrangle. Denison Terrace, the marble steps and pulpit north of the library, dominates the scene. It is flanked by Foss Hill, a natural stadium in its own right, as well as by Brownstone Row, the college’s founding buildings. Here is some of the history and thinking behind Wesleyan’s campus planning:

https://connecticuthistory.org/olin-library-and-the-debate-about-open-space-at-wesleyan-university/

2285

@Lindagaf and @circuitrider Funny, Wesleyan left my kid cold but not because of the eclectic architecture. SHe ended up at Oberlin, which has its share of architectural mishmash and outdated, funky dorms. The two are often mentioned in the same breath with respect to student vibe. But for some reason, one resonated while the other did not.

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2286

Up… Carleton. Just about perfect. Excellent, witty presentation by admission’s guy who was able to give a clear picture about what Carleton excels at without resorting to the bragging other schools tend to do. Tour touched all the bases, showing off their modern but homey Library, decent dorms, classrooms, charming grounds. Students seemed bright, and diverse. Neither one type nor another. They topped it all off with free vouchers to their dining halls, which were just about perfect. I think schools forget about how important eating is, and tend to give it short shrift. It MATTERS how well your students eat, let alone student athletes. Town of Northfield is smallish, but not tiny, and blends perfectly into the College, unlike St. Olaf which is perched way up on a hill, and would be a cold walk down in the winter.

S1 was impressed despite himself. He was set on a college in or near a city, and knew Northfield only because of the Malt-o- Meal plant in the past.
2287

Regarding Wesleyan - I can’t say if it went up or down or stayed the same. Has that ever happened to anyone else?
It was a schizophrenic experience for sure. One minute, loved it, the other, left me cold.

Started with an info session where the girl sitting next to us took off her flip flops and sat criss cross applesauce with her dirty soled feet in close proximity to us - Ugh! I mean if it is not okay to take your shoes off in a plane, then a college info session should be off limits too. I know that it is not a reflection on the school - but it was a bad way to start the day. Then the perky admissions gal introduces herself by saying she goes by the pronoun ‘she’. Really? But there really was no doubt about that as she looked as if she had just stepped straight off a Southern Living Magazine photo shoot. Then I thought everyone would introduce themselves that way, but no one else did, not even the male tour guide who was wearing women’s shoes (kudos to him for walking around campus in those shoes!). Not sure her point with the pronoun reference, but maybe she was just trying to say, hey I don’t look like a typical Wes person, but I swear, I am cool anyway! Info session was the kind where when it was over, you realized you learned nothing new. Speakers were earnest but not particularly good. Jumped straight into the weeds with minute details instead of giving an overview, and pronoun girl spewed a lot of facts without really seeming to know anything in depth.

On to the tour and our guide (wearing joggers which I did not know were a thing with guys, but he rocked them nevertheless) was articulate and personable and a good mix of scripted and off the cuff remarks. Really delved into academics which seemed super, especially in science and film/arts. The masters in science which you can get in 5 yrs for the price of 4 yrs tuition was a highlight. Classes seemed like a really interesting mix of lively discussion and lecture. Seemed like there was a lot of great on-campus programming with speakers, films and other events constantly happening on campus.

Campus was so so. It wasn’t especially pretty and agree with @Lindagaf, that the layout was not well planned. Hardly went into any buildings, but the ones we did had a municipal feel - like when you go to jury duty and every room you are in needs a fresh coat of paint, a good floor scrubbing and some polish on the wood surfaces. Good options for dorms, except for the coed bathrooms. Spent a lot of time in the gym and despite the fact that every student we encountered from tour guide, to info session, to admissions office, was a URM, all the team photos featured pretty much white kids. (Now school was not in session, so we likely did not get a full perspective of the student body). Some previous posters remarked that their guides made remarks like “we’re queer here”, our guide did not, but when we would pass by the guide in the women’s shoes, he could be heard saying things like ‘non-binary’ and ‘gender fluid’. Our guide did not mention politics, drugs, frat problems, liberal student body, LGBTQ, so many of the things you might associate with Wes were not evident in our visit.

I liked the town. Think it was nice to have places to walk to from campus, as so many of the LACS do not. But it did strike me as a dichotomy as the town seemed like it was straight out of a John Mellencamp song - complete with gun shops, pickup trucks and flags flying in store windows. Seemed like it might be at odds with a lot of campus going-ons.

So after all that, not sure where Wes stands - up, down or somewhere in between. If it stays on the list, another visit when classes are in session may give us some clarity.

2288

Daughter and I recently returned to Colorado after a 10 day trip in New England to visit colleges. We went to Maine and Boston, then to NYC (to see Hamilton, not to see colleges). Disclaimer - we went in to this trip completely unfamiliar with the area. Daughter had previously never been anywhere in the northeast, and I have been there only once. So we were complete newbies, born and raised in Colorado. Here are our thoughts:

  1. Bates College: She originally didn't want to visit this school. The research she had done had not impressed on her much. She decided to visit since we would be in the area anyway (mostly because she wanted to visit Bowdoin). Surprisingly, it is now her top choice, mostly due to the welcoming and inclusive atmosphere at the school. She liked the campus, loved the excellent dining hall, everyone seemed friendly, the dorm room was nice and clean, she wants to do the puddle jump tradition, and they have an academic program she is very interested in. The only negative in our mind is that the town (Lewiston, Maine) seems a bit sketchy. It's also competitive to get in, so it's a reach school and she's trying not to get her hopes up too much.
  2. Bowdoin College: The one she was most interested in before visiting. She liked it just fine, but had already fallen in love with Bates at that point. This was the best dorm room we saw - a quad with a shared living space. The campus was pretty and the town of Brunswick seemed nice. I told her if she goes to Bates, I'll stay in Brunswick when I come to visit, instead of Lewiston. :-)
  3. Colby College: The pictures we saw in advance looked beautiful. When we got there, it was just as beautiful. However, nothing else about the school really stood out to either us. It was just okay, and it felt too rural - didn't seem very connected to the town, and it's further from Portland. We crossed it off the list.
  4. MIT: This was too much of a reach anyway, but we had to visit! My daughter loves the school and has many stories she enjoys - the MIT blackjack team, the tradition of pranks, etc. The campus tour was fun and interesting, but it's not really a fit for my kid. We visited on the day of the eclipse, and that was exciting. We were among an enormous crowd of fellow nerds, and we had so much fun.
  5. Northeastern: We just did a self-guided tour and it didn't last long. I told her she couldn't attend there even if offered a full ride. This was small-town me talking. It was definitely too urban for me, and I'm not sure I would feel comfortable sending her there. She didn't argue though, so I think there was some agreement.
  6. Simmons College: This is a small women's college in Boston. Daughter is looking at women's schools, so we thought we'd check out a less selective one, with possible merit aid in mind. We sat through the info session and she asked to leave before the tour even started. She said she refused to go there even if offered a full ride. To her, it felt too much like a high school. It was very small, and the residential area of campus is separate from the academic area.
  7. Wellesley College: I was worried she would fall in love with this one and get her hopes up too much, as it's definitely a reach. She liked it - the campus is beautiful, the town is nice, there's easy access to Boston, the academics are excellent, and it obviously has the reputation. But, I think she used the word "fancy" to describe it, and felt that it didn't really seem like a good fit.
  8. Brandeis: We were both impressed with the academic, research, and internship opportunities here. It seems like a great school - a good size (not too big, not too small), close to Boston. However, they didn't show us a dorm room, so that was disappointing, and the campus was kind of blah.

In conclusion, she came away with 4 still on her list, in order - Bates, Bowdoin, Brandeis, and Wellesley.

Now we’re researching some safety schools that she would be happy with, should these reach schools not work out. :slight_smile:

2289

Regarding Wesleyan…definately dropped down the list and then eventually off. We arrived in a pretty substantial snowstorm after driving some distance. I called to be sure they were still doing tours and info sessions and was assured they were. When we arrived, there was only street parking and, while the town had done their part in snow cleanup, Wesleyan hadn’t even shoveled their walkways. When we entered the lobby to sign in, I was told I had to move the car (parked a couple of blocks away) or we would be ticketed. They could give no solutions to the parking issue. We stood for the info session as there weren’t enough chairs for everyone. The tour was a disaster, trudging through six inches of snow and sleet. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I know some say that admissions shouldn’t be a reason to like or dislike a school but if they don’t care enough to at least shovel the walkways for a tour…well, I’ll leave it at that.

2290

Just finished up a tour of some Virginia and NC schools. Keep in mind that D who is entering Junior year didn’t really have any preconceived notions, but my husband and I did. Especially me, as I’m the one who has been researching schools like crazy: I took tons of notes which I am using to write this.

U or Richmond: Way up! All I really knew was that the campus would be pretty. Well, it was beyond pretty. We all agreed that it was incredibly beautiful. Everything was immaculate and pristine. D loved all the greenery and trees. The students looked relaxed and happy, not surprising since classes were just starting for them. The students were preppy and well dressed, walking in pairs and groups, lots of smiling and chatting. Some diversity. One girl had pink hair, mostly everyone else looked fairly mainstream. Overall, a very clean cut crowd. Staff friendly. Campus was very busy and active, but seemd peaceful at the same time. Academics seemed strong. Nothing to not like about it. Actually, we went and had lunch on Cary St in downtown Richmond. It was quirky and fun, but I was approached by 4 different panhandlers, which was a turn off.

Elon: Way, way, way up!!! D told me after the tour that she would ED this school in a heartbeat. She said she did not want to leave. She was in love with everything: the relaxed, friendly vibe, the beautiful campus, the energy, the architecture. Loved her tour guide. Loved the size of he student body (around 6000). Impressed with the business and communication programs and facilities. D felt like she would fit in well. Also would fit in well at Richmond. The teeny tiny town right off the campus didn’t bother D. Some would say it was ridiculously small. The many students we saw seemed happy,preppy, sporty and mainstream. Even less diversity than RIchmond. Lots wore Elon sweatshirts. I noticed that there were many more girls on campus. It was obvious. Admissions people were super nice and welcoming. They have marketing down to a science. Nothing about the school seemed snooty like I was anticipated. Same for Richmond.

Wake Forest: Sadly went way down. Husband and daughter felt it wasn’t relaxed and the students didn’t seem as happy as those at the first two schools. The energy was different. The academic environment felt more intense. D thought the campus was nice and she said she could see herself fitting in, but did not think she would be happy there. All of us thought it was academically strong. The admissions office wasn’t as warm and fuzzy. The tour guide said she had to switch majors due to the difficulty of the business program.Husband felt like Wake seemed more like a country club than the other two. Felt that everyone looked and dressed the same. Everyone kept stressing how intense the workload was. This was a school I was hoping D would love, but not happening.

Davidson: Way up for my husband and I. This is the school we would love to see our D at. It’s everything we want in a school for her. However, she liked it a lot, but did not love it like we did. Her concern was that it might be too small and it felt too quiet for her. It didn’t have the same energy she is seeking. She said she would apply, because she liked many things, but she doesn’t think she would ED it. The school has very strong academics, but is so much more relaxed than Wake. They don’t take themselves so seriously. Students didn’t seem as preppy as the other schools. There wasn’t any one look. The community seemed warm. Campus was pretty, but it wasn’t as pristine as Richmond, for example. There are some warn out looking spots, but it didn’t matter. This is a school that spends it’s money on the things that are more important.

UNC:Way down. We didn’t go on a tour here or to an info session. Just drove around at D’s insistence. She wanted to see what it was like. She knew immediately it wasn’t for her. Too big, too many people. Felt too city-like.

Washington and Lee: Way up. Another school we didn’t tour, but just drove around since we were passing by. It’s in Lexington, my favorite town from this college tour. The size and history and charm were very appealing. From what we saw the campus looks lovely and we are planning to officially see it sometime in the future.

It was a very good experience. D felt stressed out by the end though. I think after Elon she was done. In her mind, she found her place. The question I have is what do you do when your child falls in love with a school that is most likely a safety for them. There is much to think about and more schools to see. As of today, D said Elon is her first favorite school and Richmond and Bucknell are tied for second.

2291

Thanks, @citymama9 !! We are seeing Wake, Davidson, and Richmond this spring break. Loved reading your notes!

2292

@homerdog You’re very welcome. I look forward to seeing your opinions. One thing I realized is that D is starting her junior year and is only 16 and 1/2. Fit is everything to her at this age. It takes precedence over academics. It will be interesting to what changes for her next year. Good luck with everything.

2293

It’s interesting to me to see how people view schools so differently. We visited Wake Forest 3 times and all 3 times my daughter loved it… but did not attend because it was not for her. She thought the students looked happy, loved the small classes, did not feel any academic intensity, loved the way the kids dressed, and loved the traditions. To me… the info session felt like a country club and I felt a bit uncomfortable. At the end of the day she did not choose it because it was too small for her and she felt it was very quiet… and that bothered her. She thought it was “low energy” and felt that way on all 3 visits. But… To this day will still say it’s a great school.

2294

We also visited the U of Richmond and I agree that there was nothing not to like. This was by far the most gorgeous school I have ever seen. There was nothing about this campus that was run down or in need of repair. It was truly breathtaking. Some of the boys wore suits on the tour… This did not seem to bother my daughter. I have nothing bad to say about this school other than the fit was not there. My co-workers daughter loved it.

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@twogirls Do you mind saying which school your D decided on? You said that Wake felt small to her to I’m assuming a larger school. Thanks for your insights. It’s fun to see what others saw at the same schools.

2296

My D’s friend is at Elon- she likes it. I sent you a PM.

2297

@citymama9
To answer your question about what to do when your kid falls in love with a safety- you breathe a big sigh of relief and feel proud that they are focusing on fit and evaluating schools for how they feel vs how others feel!
My D did ED at a match school. After visiting almost 20 schools and researching several others, she honestly loved it more than any other school including her reaches. It was a perfect fit and the right choice for her. That’s what is important. And now she is a blissfully happy 2nd yr student there.
And omg about Richmond- it certainly is a beautiful school! Gorgeous grounds, not a thing out of place. My D liked that one too

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@citymama9

For all schools, I would suggest an overnight if possible before applying ED. It gives your child a chance to see the “off-tour” side of the school…and the students. If there are close seconds…I would suggest one there too.

Both of my D’s had really bad hosts on the overnights for the schools they now attend. One was in tears. But ultimately the other students and the professors more than made up for the hosts.

If your child decides that the assumed safety is the place to be, the consequences of them not getting in RD would be too great a risk for you to not apply ED.

2299

What’s wrong with falling in love with a school that also happens to be a safety? My daughter did, applied to one school, attends and is very happy.

D’s classmate knew she was going to FSU since kindergarted. Both parents went, brother went, and she only applied to FSU (she was a top student and athlete, and could have gone to a number of other schools or been recruited). She graduated from high school June 1 and started at FSU before the end of June. She probable would have started earlier but had to finish high school.

2300

This past year has taught me that there are no guarantees , and often safeties are not safe at all. Choose a school that your child wants to attend and don’t worry about whether it’s a safety , match or reach.