Colleges your child crossed off the list after visiting, schools that moved up on the list. Why?

Wesleyan was an interesting one for my son. It was on the early side of our tours, two years ago. Visited when school was not in session. We had flagged it in our research because they are strong in a lot of the areas he likes EC-wise – best LAC film school, very strong in theater, great in music, a twice-a-week student paper, etc. But he didn’t like the surrounding area or the campus much so it moved way down his list, especially after he toured Williams later the same day. He much preferred pretty, rural college town with mountains in the backdrop to Middletown. But by the time he moved close to applications Wesleyan moved back up because of all the same strengths that originally put it on the list – he had decided to overlook the initial visual impression. After he was accepted he looked into it more and in the end what turned him off were totally different things – the prevalence of political activists and the drug culture, etc. He considered it “cringy” that they had temporarily defunded the school paper following protests because some students didn’t like an editorial. And when he was visiting the campus with a former HS friend now attending and her friends, students approached them at lunch to sign petitions protesting something or other. He was on the Facebook group of accepted students and said it had the most “obnoxious” students of the various school accepted students sites he was on. I never got a great answer as to what he meant by that – just impressions – too many students trying to act cool, diss things for the sake of it, engage in politics in the chat, etc.

@OldFashioned1 wrote:

No, it’s more like saying, “You know, on looking at Cindy Crawford I’ve realized that I have a really intense preference for red hair over brown. Yeah, it’s just me, but there it is.”

But more directly, I don’t get your point—are you saying all highly selective schools are some amazingly awesome that it’s inexcusable to cross one off one’s list for a reason you personally don’t find reasonable? (And I’ll note, as a sidebar, that you haven’t told us what you find reasonable.) Because that’s what it sounds like, and if that’s what you actually mean, you may want to recognize that you don’t actually define reality for the rest of us.

@happy1 Shouldn’t even the lowest level of research tell a high schooler Columbia is in NEW YORK CITY, the most urban setting in the world. Why waste the family’s time and money touring the college if those are such hyper-sensitive issues?

The preppy stereotype of Princeton (and Dartmouth) is hilariously absurd. All elites have huge cohorts of preppy wealthy students – even UChicago.

@homerdog Okay, I get it. You might look at Lafayette then given your criteria. Good LAC. Pretty campus. An hour from Phily or 90 from NYC. And an exceptional reputation for internship and eventual job placement – they pride themselves on that and have a disproportionate rep for it. And they offer great merit scholarships. We didn’t know this when our S applied and were surprised when they offered him a huge scholarship that covered well more than half the total cost. Again, this was merit and not aid. Alas he did not decide to go there but it would have been fantastic financially if he had. I don’t know the stats on how many kids they offer it to. Since he knew pretty quickly it wasn’t making the final cut we didn’t pursue it, but they had a whole special VIP program for the merit recipient and their parents and another parent I know who had attended it previously said they went all out to make you feel special. Another school that offered large financial aid was Case Western. Our S added it at the last minute because they sent an email offering to waive the application fee and require no supplements, so it took all of a minute to apply.

@OldFashioned1 It is one thing to read that a school is in NYC, it is quite another to visit it if a person is not familiar with NYC. And of course all the schools have their fair share of wealthy preppy students, but IMO each school (Ivy or not) doesn’t have its own traits, vibe, characteristics etc.

Anyway, no need to tag me again cuz I’ve stated my opinion and don’t feel any need to continue as it veering more and more off topic from the OP.

There are many colleges in NYC and IMO they have very different feels.

Columbia/Barnard v NYU v Fordham? All in NYC. NYU a building here, a building there with lots of not-NYU in between. Columbia with a pretty contained campus core though it extends out from there, Barnard very contained. Fordham - Bronx campus is grassy with trees and such vs its Lincoln Center campus which is basically one high rise?

I grew up in NYC, I know these things. Kids looking at colleges from elsewhere probably don’t until they visit.

I believe it is very important to see elite schools before applying if ED is in the equation. The elite schools may be lottery exercises, but odds improve if you apply ED. For instance, at Penn about 25% get in ED, and less than 10% regular. It would be reckless to apply ED to a school sight unseen. Further, checking out and eliminating lottery schools may help you feel more comfortable with a decision to apply ED to a second tier elite school.

@wandlmink Completely agree! If your kid has one ED “bullet” to fire, it should be spent at a place they get a good feeling from (aside from all the other factors in the financial and academic qualifications realm.)

How on earth is it “presumptuous” to make an informed decision as to where to spend the time, effort, and money it takes for a kid to apply to a school?

So far we’ve only hit 3, while on vacation last summer (before Jr year)

Reed- croseed off. “Too weird” too geeky. Little sister (13 big geeek) loved it

Lewis and Clark-crossed off- both girls thought it was bland with nothing unique to offer

Willamette- moved up. Way up. She’s definitely applying. Sister also liked. Funny thing is we only went because it’s my alma mater and I wanted to tour the campus after 20 some-years.

Next week SLO and UCSB will be quite the contrast as far as size.

The “vibe” gotten from the tour is exactly why a tour is important. While yes, sometimes a tourguide is terrible and sours an otherwise great school for a student ( a school which could have been a good “fit”), if it helps solidify or eliminate a school from a students’ list, that’s the purpose of the visit. Most every student going on college tours will experience the “driveby” phenomenon, where they get to a school and for whatever reason, don’t want to even get out of the car. They want to leave. Period. This is common. And normal. If a student can’t see themselves at any particular school, for even a frivolous reason, move on and strike it off the list. College is for the student, not the parent. There is a great thread called something like “the dumbest reason your child eliminated a school” (I’ll look for it) . Its a great read.

If you are going to be irritated if your student eliminates a school after “wasting your time and money to visit”, then don’t go, because that’s exactly the reason to visit- to see if the student likes or dislikes the school. Many students are not fortunate enough to have the funds or time to visit school. Don’t complain. Count your blessings.

I find that even if the school is not in session, you can get some sense of vibe from the other families at the info session/on the tour. Are they laid back? Anxious and competitive? Do they seem status conscious? Do they look preppy/artsy/hippie? Do they lean politically to one extreme or the other? Of course, one irritating parent or prospective student shouldn’t ruin the whole experience, just as a sub-par student tour guide should not. But a critical mass makes an impression, for good or ill.

Georgetown was one of the first tours we did while on a mini-vacation to DC. At the info session they had each kid state where they were from and went to school. Probably 90% went to elite private schools. The tour was co-led by two female students who joked about J. Crew being the official school uniform and were almost cliche preppy.

Here is an old thread on this topic. Still looking for the one with the funniest/silliest reasons a school got nixed. Its a great read! http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/790906-colleges-you-child-crossed-off-the-list-after-visiting-p1.html

@citivas did that move Georgetown up or down your list? What other schools were on your list?

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Crossed off: OSU, huge campus and I felt like I would get lost in the crowd
Moved up: UPenn! Beautiful campus, very friendly tour guide
Lehigh, although it is very hilly it is extremely beautiful!

Here are several threads from the past-- the first especially is a great read!! Parents need to understand the purpose of visits, for the STUDENT, not the parent.

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/705291-stupidest-reason-child-wont-look-at-a-college-p89.html

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/297415-silliest-reason-your-kid-didnt-like-a-college-not-a-deal-breaker-but-funny.html

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/717975-silliest-reasons-why-your-child-chose-a-college-to-apply-to.html

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1863101-what-is-a-deal-breaker-when-picking-a-college-p1.html

This post, from the first link, is a gem!! LOL!!

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/discussion/comment/19031540/#Comment_19031540

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I hate to say it, but I have to agree to a large extent with @OldFashioned1. If a family goes on an Ivy ‘tour’ (like a girl did in my D’s class this year), I think it does seem pretentious, regardless of whether they announce that they have eliminated one for a silly reason (but that makes it worse if the reason was easily identifiable w/o the visit). Just do. It’s icky to me, but YMMV.

I guess I’m not following this secondary theme of the thread - it is okay for a student to visit a school and decide not to apply there because of their experience UNLESS it is an extremely high ranking school, in which case they either can’t visit or must apply nonetheless? I honestly am not following what 2muchquan and oldfashioned1 are saying…

@myjanda The theme of this thread is to list the schools that rose, fell, or were removed from your list as a result of your visit. Every so often the thread has spun into a debate about how that ranking is done.

However, if you want to list your schools, rising, falling, eliminated, that would be great!