Commisserate here: Rejections...HS Class of 2008

College Majors Musical Theater Major
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<p>The past couple of posts raise an important issue. While we can all relate to the "show must go on" mindset, both we, as parents, and our kids must take a more long term perspective. Our kids' goal is to have a life long career involving vocal performing. That often means making a well informed conscious decision to pull back when all the little voices in their heads are screaming that they must go on. The pressures can be very significant, from not wanting to "ruin" the show for all the other cast members, not wanting to incur the disfavor of teachers or not wanting to miss a critical audition. In the final analysis, though, if our kids (with our assistance) don't give priority to their vocal health, who will?</p>

<p>In February of her junior year of high school, my daughter was Maria in West Side Story. No cross-casting, no understudies, just one actor prepared for each role. With 2 nights of performances left, she came down with strep throat, running 102 fever. Went to the doc Friday morning, loaded her up with meds, slept all day, went on Friday night. Same deal on Saturday. At the time, we were shamefully ignorant about the risks she was taking. It took a couple of months to recover from the vocal stresses. </p>

<p>Her senior year, we had connected with a laryngologist that specializes with professional vocal performers. My daughter went through the audition season, did a 4 day run of a community theater show and then went to the laryngologist for a check-up a week before my daughter was to go to a choral competition in NYC and 2 weeks before a community concert in which she was to have several solos. The doc looked her in the eye and in no uncertain terms told her to take 3 weeks of vocal rest, no performing at all. She really drove home that this is a life long endeavor and that you must approach vocal health from that perspective or you will not last. When my daughter expressed that there were a lot of people relying upon her, the doc responded plainly and simply that it is so very important for students early on to become comfortable with being their own advocates for their vocal health and to weigh very carefully the risks/benefits of performing when one should really rest.</p>

<p>In the context of auditions, this is really a tough dilemma since so much can ride on a one shot opportunity. However, if unforeseen circumstances make it unwise to perform, it never hurts to at least inquire whether an audition date can be changed. I know many schools in fact urge students to contact them if the student becomes ill because the school itself wants to see the student at the student's best.</p>

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<p>I am new to this college board but have been reading it for the past year or so. My D. has been rejected from two schools so far for MT. Point Park and Penn State. We are awaiting answers on six more. One SUNY school has accepted her for their MT program, but that is her safe school, and hopes for at least one other choice.</p>

<p>I hope to not post too many on this thread and at least a few on the Accepted thread. But all of you parents and teachers alike have wonderful things to say and are so supportive of the whole process.</p>

<p>Thanks for being there when I needed you, even though you never knew.</p>

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<p>operagirl, welcome! :) It's always nice to "meet" another parent whose son or daughter is going through this very stressful process. I am so sorry to hear that your D did not get good news from those two schools, but it's lovely that she is already in at one school and has more to hear from. This board really is a wonderful community of kids and parents, and we are glad you are a part of it. I feel sure you will be posting great news soon. :)</p>

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<p>Just for the record :) </p>

<p>I wholeheartedly agree that it is important to analyze "how sick" one is before deciding whether to go on with 'business as usual', this holds true especially with illnesses that affect your throat (singers) or injuries to your body (dancers) as the long term damage you can inflict, as LizMT points out, may be greater than the immedidate perceived benefit of "pushing through". In fact, CoachC also wrote about this a while ago, but I can't remember if this was in the Vocal Health thread or in response to a question by another member.</p>

<p>In my D's case, she never needed to "actually" use the buckets, that were set up for her in the wings, and there was never actual kissing with the Nutcracker Prince required either :) - just in case anyone was wondering...</p>

<p>:D</p>

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<p>Opera - </p>

<p>Nice to see you posting. I'm very sorry about those rejections. My D has had 2 also. I am happy she has a safety acceptance though. I never researched the SUNY schools but I have heard that some of them are remarkably excellent schools. </p>

<p>Looking forward to hearing you posting more....on the other thread :)</p>

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<p>I just got my rejection letter from Marymount Manhattan. Sucks because that was my first choice. And because I'm 0 for 3 right now in terms of program acceptances. (at least I've been accepted academically to a few places, so I won't be completely without options)</p>

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<p>So sorry about that but maybe another choice will come though. Try to Keep your spirits up! The fact that you have been accepted academically into schools shows you have a great brain and know how to work hard. Plus college is a lot of tests so obviously you can do that also. You will have options and you are smart and talented....more than most of the people I have known in my life. Good luck! We all want to see you on the acceptances. (My D hasn't heard anything yet...acting)</p>

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<p>Yes, ChellyBelly, hang in there. I'll put you in my "Everything happens for a reason prayers" tonite.</p>

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<p>Chelly I'm sorry sweetie but I too believe it all happens for a reason that is better in the end. Are your rejections BFA and acceptances BA?</p>

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<p>MomOfAPrincess, that's exactly it. I knew I was at a disadvantage going into this, since I've only been singing for a bit over two years and dancing about the same, and I've never had any acting lessons or anything. I didn't expect to get in, but I certainly hoped...</p>

<p>I, too, am in the "everything happens for a reason" camp, so I've been thinking about my options as soon as I got over the initial freak out. I may see if I can get my application at my second-choice school switched from RD to ED (suggested to me by someone I know who works in admissions, so I guess it is possible). I'll figure something out.</p>

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<p>sarasmom and jacksdad - my heart sunk when I read your stories, as the same thing happened to my daughter during Unifieds last year. Horrible sinus infection and bronchitis (add a little asthma with it) and I thought she was going to cough up a lung (I couldn't hear her singing or monologues from outside the room, but I could hear her coughing). She was constantly using a personal steamer, taking drugs, etc., but the timing was just bad.</p>

<p>At the time, I knew one of our options was to cancel auditions (so as to not risk her vocal cord health), but she really wanted to give it a try, and we had no option to reschedule any of them. Aside from not having her best auditions, she felt totally awful and just didn't enjoy the benefits of meeting new kids, etc. like all the other auditionees were doing. Anyway, I'm thrilled to report that where she did end up, she's never been happier, and I assume at this point, can't even begin to see herself at any of those other schools. So hopefully this time next year, you'll be able to look back on it and feel comfortable with where they're at.</p>

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<p>teriwtt-I can't wait for my son to read this! He has spent so much time and energy second guessing himself and his auditions. I really do believe he will be successful wherever he lands and he did manage to have some pretty credible auditions in spite of being ill. With that being said, the wating for results may kill us all! All the best to every one waiting and to those who who have been there for taking the time to encourage those of us still mired in the process.</p>

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<p>Jacksdad</p>

<p>Doesn't your son have some acceptances in hand at very good schools? Why the questioning of himself? I'd give anything to be going through this waiting process knowing there were already some acceptances!!</p>

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<p>Yes he does have a couple wonderful acceptances and it has kept me from posting about him singing sick. There was one school in particular, like so many who post here, that he really wanted but he wasn't in peak form. Good luck to every one still fighting the flu nd waiting for the fat envelope!</p>

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<p>Thank you teriwtt and everyone for the words of encouragement and happy ending stories! :-) D does have academic acceptances at two colleges that have MT programs and she can try again if need be. </p>

<p>Here's a little story. Despite being very talented, one of my D's older classmates, auditioned for a MT program two years ago and didn't get in. However, she was academically accepted at the College and decided to go there anyway. Before the second semester of her freshman year, she tried again but once more she didn't get in. Not giving up, over the Spring semester, she found a performing opportunity on the campus and from what I understand, someone from the faculty saw her. So, when she auditioned for the third time, she was accepted in the Conservatory program for the Fall of her sophomore year. That school was Point Park. (A classic case for the never give up camp! ) Needless to say, boy is she happy!</p>

<p>So far, D has been academically accepted at Point Park and Webster... so if all else fails, hey precident has been set! LOL :-D </p>

<p>BTW, I've been lurking since the fall and didn't really mean for a rejection post to be one of my first posts! As others have pointed out, even though we've just been reading for a while, many of you have consoled, helped and guided us first timers through this process more than you know! Thank you!</p>

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<p>My daughter also has an acceptance into a BA program at a great school where she can study theatre and double major - something that is appealing. Her heart is set on a BFA program though. I keep telling her this is not the worse situation in the world. After reading some of the advice on here about BFA v BA, it makes you even wonder which one is a better chocie. They both seem to have advantages. The BA came though just by paper - no (obvious) competition and no audition. So I can't seem to get her to understand that she really did earn this and it shouldn't be taken lightly.</p>

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<p>To go back for a minute to the discussion of vocal health and limits... I just want to thank you all for sharing your stories and thoughts so willingly. </p>

<p>MomOfAPrincess - I remember a few buckets in the wings of a few shows! oh boy... if i had a nickel for every time I've thought, hey, this is a high school production not Broadway! :-)</p>

<p>LizMT - thank you for being so candid. It should give everyone pause to think. More than that though, your incredible positive attitude and willingness to embrace who are at any given moment is the testament of a true artist and performer. I wish you the best!</p>

<p>MichaelNKat, you really bring up very good points, which are not lost on us! Choral competitions, leads in the musical and the drama... all happening at the same time and/ or one after the other, with no rest, Lord knows, we’re familiar with those crazy schedules!
For all the reasons you mentioned and more...the pressures ARE significant. I agree, limits are very important and as tough as it is, we have to step up and not be afraid to be the bad guy once in while. </p>

<p>For those very reasons, for her Senior Fall year, D agreed not to do the Fall shows, only her choirs, in order to focus on vocal health and getting ready for auditions. Ironic huh? The craziness started up again in January when her Vocal Jazz Choir went to Toronto for the IAJE Convention. Every last kid, teacher and chaperone got sick the week after they returned, then proceeded to relapse with the flu a few weeks later in time for college auditions. Every one of them. ( and D had really taken care of herself and her voice over winter break. ) So it goes to show... sometimes it’s just going to happen no matter what prevention measures you take. Best you can do is to mitigate the situation as much as possible. In this case, with the start of college audition season, auditions for the Spring shows at her HS, Finals etc... well you know it was just too much and there was no time to properly recover, even with days home from school and lots of medicine. Consequently, she was vulnerable to relapse and catching another bug... which is what happened.</p>

<p>If there had been any way to reschedule auditions, we would have done so in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, because of logistics and money matters, it couldn’t be worked out, so she had to do the best she could. </p>

<p>Over the years, we’ve become very good friends with the voice doctor! Thankfully, between a wonderful vocal coach and a great doctor, she hasn’t damaged her instrument when singing while ill. ( when it’s unavoidable ) For college auditions, D had to drop her legit soprono song and replace it with a very low ballad. Not the ideal, but it was done to preserve her voice & instead feature the acting. Will it work? Who knows. Point Park didn’t buy it. But, hey, there’s still 5 more to hear from! :-)</p>

<p>Like all of you, no matter where the cards fall for our kids, we’ll help pick them all up and reshuffle the deck, if that’s what it takes!</p>

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<p>MomOfaPrincess
I certainly understand when your heart is set on something, that's it's difficult to entertain an alternative scenario. Just keep talking in her ear and reassuring her. She'll come to realize this is definitely "not the worse situation in the world" and that there's more than one way to achieve a dream. Hey, getting accepted into a college, period, is cause for celebration and she's earned a celebration! It's great that it's one where she can study theatre. Webster is like that too.</p>

<p>Hang in there!</p>

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<p>Thank you Sara. I think many on here are feeling what she is. It's just a normal human response when we put so much energy and time into a project. Again and again these kids put themselves out there and the auditions require effort and are emotional. Flying all over the country - doing all the makeup work for school - getting hassled for missing school and/or rehearsals - students and teachers constantly asking you "well did you get in anywhere yet?". Falling in love with programs or a campus where you don't know whether you are going to be able to go or not. It's all just tremendously emotional. And no parent wants to see their child unhappy so it's also hard on us parents. The natural fear is that it was all for nothing.</p>

<p>I think it's important to pull back and get a different perspective on it. See that there is value here besides just getting an acceptance. Even if no acceptance came out of it..it was tremendous experience at auditioning. I know for the summer program auditions coming up she is going to walk in there like a pro compared to last summer. We toured the US, stayed in hotels, ate out, went to shows, met a lot of wonderful kindred MT souls, and we spent valuable fun time together before she is off to college. This was absolutely not a loss. This was a worthwhile adventure no matter how it comes out.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
if i had a nickel for every time I've thought, hey, this is a high school production not Broadway! :-)

[/quote]
</p>

<p>The reality is that it wouldn't happen on Broadway! :) No professional actor is going to jeopardize their vocal health by performing while sick. No stage manager, or tour director, and once a student is in college, no college director or voice teacher, would allow it. This is an issue that high school students really have to be careful about, particularly if they do not attend an arts school, or at least a school which has a strong theatre program with knowledgeable teachers. For kids who plan to focus on theatre in college, it isn't worth the risk to sing through illness for the sake of a show.</p>

<p>Back on topic, all of us who have been through this in previous years know how difficult the next month will be for you. We're all rooting for you and your kids, and hope that you'll get the letters you want. I'm not really a believer of everything happens for a reason. I've seen too many unexplainable admissions decisions over the years, including some here at CC. However, if you have a good list of appropriate schools of various types, chances are good that you'll get at least one acceptance to a school where you can be happy. Lots of fingers are crossed here at CC for this year's kids.</p>