My 2024 LHP has offers from a few D3 schools and he is trying to decide ASAP. The soonest he can get back to visit at an out of state school is the first weekend in October. The coach from that school has made it clear that he has offers out already and my kid’s offer will evaporate if other kids commit before him.
Do we plan the (expensive) trip out there and hope there are still spots? Coach will not guarantee the spot pending our visit. My kid visited this school over the summer and has had a good relationship with the coach generally but he hasn’t met any of the team or been there when class is in session.
How bad an idea is it to verbally commit to this school (since he is very interested in it) to hold the roster spot and then decommit later if he visits and really doesn’t like it? I know this isn’t preferred but this whole process is pretty difficult.
It is in bad faith to commit if he is still not sure and then de commit after the visit unless he notifies all the other coaches and tells them he is now committed.
The coach has been 100% honest with your child and you are not being honest back. Also, by committing, a spot is now unavailable for another athlete and if your child changes their mind after that visit the coach is now left trying to fill
the spot. With online tours and other resources available, it seems like your child should be able to understand if the school is the right fit. I imagine he had extended interactions with the coach and have followed the team on social media etc - so is a final visit really the hold up or are you holding out for another offer ?
Also, if he verbally committed pre-visit - it is the right thing to do to notify all other schools that he is now committed to attend X school and they will remove his offers. He will be done with recruiting.
If he de commits after the visit, he can contact all the other coaches again - but do not expect those spots to still be there and do expect coaches to have questions about why the change and that he sent them a clear picture that their program/school were not the priority program.
I agree that it’s unlikely at this point, surely, for there to be a big surprise wrt the school.
I think some coaches do string kids along, and some aren’t completely transparent. Definitely they put their needs 1st, above the recruit’s, so I think the recruit needs to look after what’s in their best interest.
That said, if this isn’t your son’s top choice, and there’s a decent chance he will decommit, then don’t do it. But if he’s 99% certain and just wants the extra bit of reassurance, then I think its ok.
ETA- totally agree with @coffeeat3 that then your son will have to tell the other coaches he is done.
To be clear, he is not trying to string anyone along in the hopes of getting a better/different offer. He is just trying to get to far away schools and spend a little time with the team and coach to see what school is the best fit. It’s a big and very expensive decision and he wants to be as sure as possible that the school and team are right for him.
Then he goes in October and commits on the spot if it is the right fit - if the spot is gone prior to your visit - then you would cancel the trip.
It is hard - we have all been there with our recruits. Can he blame you for the delay - my parents need me to see the school one more time, as this is an expensive financial decision for our family and I am looking so forward to meeting the team in 2 weeks. Or is there anyway for you to get there this weekend if it is a top choice?
Yeah - if we had been better informed about this process we would have left every weekend in Sept open for college visits but we weren’t and couldn’t. He is going to his other top contender this weekend. I take your point though- get refundable tickets and cross our fingers the spot in still available when we visit.
Are these schools relatively close to each other…getting at if it’s possible to visit both this weekend? Is this weekend’s trip his top choice school, based on what he knows now?
I also wouldn’t commit to hold the spot, but do understand how difficult this process is.
The only other thing I want to add is that once he does verbally commit, while I agree he must tell the other coaches he’s verbally committed, that doesn’t mean he has to stop speaking with those coaches, or any new coaches who come on the scene. Sometimes things don’t work out for the ED commits, and it makes sense to keep conversations going as long as all parties know the deal.
I am definitely not an expert on athletic recruiting, but to me, it seems this coach is not as interested as you think he is if he isn’t willing to wait one week. If this school is kid’s #1 choice by miles, cancel the upcoming trip to Ohio and go to NY. College is super expensive, and this sounds crass, but if you’re talking about $70k plus a year in tuition, a few thousand extra is a drop in a bucket. This coach might seem nice on the surface, but he isn’t messing around and your child needs to think about the subconscious message that sends.
Could your son tell both coaches that it is down to 2 schools for him, and could he have a week/10 days to decide? Is the Ohio offer also potentially evaporating?
But agree with @Lindagaf , it sounds like the coach is ok with possibly losing your son, which probably means he’s not the very top recruit(s). Which may mean he’s not perceiveed as an impact player, which may affect playing time once he’s in college.
All this is speculation, as clearly we are only seeing the tip of the information iceberg! If the sport is soccer feel free to PM me.
I thought LHP meant left hand pitcher - but what do I know - i have a crew athlete Agree - knowing the sport could help with more specific assistance, but also understand posters that want to keep it more private - so private messaging can be the way to go and helped us so much to get the true scoop on some program coaches that no one was going to put into writing on this forum !
In our experience this is a very common tactic; i.e, offer doesn’t “expire” but we continue to recruit, and once the money is gone it’s gone. One in the hand… and all that.
I don’t think this tactic completely speaks to coach’s interest. The coach has a roster to fill, and one can’t expect them to tell another commit “no” while they wait for your athlete. That’s the reality, but that doesn’t make this any less unpleasant for your athlete.
On your end, not committing would be a calculated risk. The ethical component to committing should be acknowledged, but it’s a non-binding agreement for all parties. Decommits happen in every sport (doesn’t make it a good idea, just a fact coaches deal with).
Do you follow the team’s socials to have an idea about how many commits they currently have and how many they typically take a year? Can you ask for a video chat with team members?
As it’s a second visit, I’m unclear as to what other questions you might be looking to answer. Not seeing classes in session isn’t a big deal, IMO.
Sorry, as I understand the stress your athlete and family are under.
I may have a slightly different take than others on this topic, which I have posted about in the past. Even though the coach might be honest with you, or he may not be 100% open and honest, I agree that you should not lie or mislead the coach, but I think it is ok to not tell them everything. I feel that it is unfair when schools pressure you to this extent, and want it all their way.
I found that the coaches were usually fairly straight forward though we would not be pressured into committing unless we were 100% sure.
I also feel that seeing a school a second time while it is in session can be very valuable.
That said I have not run into this exact situation with the coach having made it clear that he has offers out already and my kid’s offer will evaporate if other kids commit before him.
This sounds like the coach as more offers out there than he has spots or slots for. My experience is that the coach will want you to commit, which is fair, but will give you some time, or they may tell you something to the effect that there is someone ahead of you and if they do not commit you are next on the list. If I understand this correctly, what you describe sounds like a first come first serve.
For what it is worth, here is what I would do:
-I would visit a second time while the school is in session.
-I am not sure what type of school this is, if the coach has any pull with admissions, or if they need the coaches support to get admitted.
If your son stands a good likely hood to get admitted on his own, I would not commit until after the Oct visit. And make sure you are 100% sure, including that if your son was not playing baseball he would still very much like the school, and would have selected it without sports.
-If he does need the coaches support to get admitted, I would be as honest as you can be with the coach. I would have your son tell the coach that he is excited about the the school and offer, and it is his top choice or one of his top choices, though it is a big commitment so he would like to see the school while it is in session.
You can even have your son tell the coach that my parents are very excited about the school as well though my parents are requiring me to see the school in Oct before committing. I told my kid(s) they could tell the coach that.
Also, keep in mind that most sports outside of football/basketball represent a relatively small world. Coaches talk, and a decommit for no good reason can reflect poorly on an athlete - just as it would if the coach pulled the offer.
Yes it has definitely been explained as a first come, first serve situation and the coach has said that he has something like 6-8 offers out for two more roster spots for my kid’s position. A few coaches at other schools have said similar things but still other schools he is talking to have been a lot more relaxed about the process.
It’s just hard to know what to think. The coach has seemed very interested in past communications and continues to want him to come visit. I don’t know what would happen if 5 of these recruits all tried to commit on the same day. I guess he would cut the 3 he likes least loose?
Understood, and I guess this could be common but to me it sounds like they sort of have an offer, but only if they beat the other offers to committing…so I would not feel quick as bad about decommitting, though I still don’t recommend it.
The OP confirmed that it is first come first serve basis, which seems a bit odd. I wonder what level of school it is academically and athletically.
The coach must have some ranking between the 6-8-offers with 2-slots for who ever commits first.
What if the commits all come in that same day? It sounds like a poor way to do things.
Not to muddy the waters - but Ohio to NY can be an fairly easy trip - 3 main cities in Ohio with flights to NYC/NJ and rental car to upstate could allow for one big trip to see both schools and miss 1 maybe 2 schools days max and a decision done. (and could save you some travel money too) if these are your son’s 2 top schools and meet your needs for tuition costs too. I don’t know anyone on CC for baseball - but there has to be a group of recruit parents for this sport out there that have specific school/coach insight - hope they see this thread. Good luck - recruiting is not for the faint of heart and I believe this was the title of a thread for all of us going through this with our kids during Covid when they missed part of their HS seasons.
Agree - knowing the sport could help with more specific assistance, but also understand posters that want to keep it more private - so private messaging can be the way to go and helped us so much to get the true scoop on some program coaches that no one was going to put into writing on this forum !