Common App essay (and a question)

<p>My common app essay could definitely use some proofreading even though my parents and english teachers have combed it incredibly thoroughly. If someone would be willing to take a look I would be most grateful. Also (for those that read it) would it make a good essay for the UCAS application to oxford? Or does that have to be more academic.</p>

<p>Ill PM the essay to any helpers:)</p>

<p>thanks in advance!</p>