Common App Essay Critique please?

<p>I have an essay that I'm pretty happy with. I've had it checked by all of my school's college counselor's, and they've all stated that it is very good, and will be a good read for the application reader. I thought I'd come to CC for some outside opinions.</p>

<p>The essay is ~750 words, and I have already read this: Common</a> Application Essay Length--500 Words is NOT a Strict Cut-Off - College Confidential</p>

<p>I will PM you the essay.</p>

<p>I appreciate any help, and please do not withhold anything, any criticism is appreciated.</p>

<p>Thank you for your time,
-sdrak</p>

<p>I’ll edit your essay if you’d like.</p>

<p>I will look and provide feedback.</p>