Common App essay for selective schools - Readers greatly appreciated!

College Essays
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<p>So I finally hammered out a rough draft of my common app essay this afternoon. I wasn't really sure which prompt I was going to try to fit it under, but ultimately I think it works best under #2, experiencing failure. I'm not sure if it's a perfect fit, but it seems to work best that way (feel free to let me know what you think if you read it).</p>

<p>My top choice schools are selective and science-y, so I want to be sure my essay displays the correct aptitude for writing and love of science these types of schools expect.</p>

<p>I would really appreciate anyone who could read it and let me know where it stands in terms of these schools, and could offer advice on how to revise and refine it. I'd prefer to send to posters with a decent amount of credible and constructive post as per the stickies at the top of this forum, for security reasons.</p>

<p>Thanks in advance!</p>

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<p>Feel free to send it to me! I’m attending Duke this fall and am majoring in Biology :slight_smile: I’ve written essays that I thought nicely reflected my passion for science too.</p>

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<p>I just finished and submitted my common app, and it was on my passion for science as well. I can take a look at it if you want :)</p>

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<p>I’m working at CalTech. I can take a look :)</p>

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<p>Feel free to PM your essay; I’d love to read it! :smiley: I have several years of experience as a tutor and writing coach, and I’ve edited a bunch of essays on CC so far this summer, so hopefully I can be of help to you!</p>