Common App Essay- URGENT NEED HELP

College Essays
1

<p>When asked to elaborate on one of my extracurricular activities, I chose football, because in all honesty I probably learned the most from it than any other activity I was apart of during high school, (aside from actual school of course). </p>

<p>When I read this sentence, it sounded awkward</p>

<p>"Football not only taught me self-discipline on and off of the field, but also courage and competitiveness."</p>

<p>Is this a good sentence? If not, how can I improve it? </p>

<p>Please help, I am applying to Fordham at the last second even after the deadline. Obviously I need all the help I can get.</p>

2

<p>Try being specific, “elaborate” on how it did this. I would suggest using the space after the comma to do this. It’s not much use if you just list a bunch of words. If you want me to read over it then PM it to me. I’m here to help. :)</p>