<p>could someone please read and edit my essay? this is a first draft, i havent really edited it myself, but i dont really know if i like the direction it is going, so could someone please tell me their thoughts/opinions on what works and what doesnt? i also realize that it isn't very organized and goes off on several tangents, but still, any insight is appreciated. thanks so much! :)</p>
<p>prompt:
explain an experience, achievement, or ethical dilemma and its impact on you.</p>
<p>essay:
“You show people what you're willing to fight for when you fight your friends.” -Hillary Clinton
I’ve been a Catholic for as long as I can remember. When I was four years old, two elderly women would come over to my house every Sunday and give my mother Holy Communion. Being at the young age I was, I never thought much of it. To me, all it meant was that my “adopted grandparents” were coming over so my mom could receive Jesus and heal from Breast Cancer, but for a whole year, the same ritual occurred every Sunday. For thirteen years now, my family and I have belonged to the St. Thomas Aquinas Parish in Rio Rancho, New Mexico, and it has changed my life in profound ways. Though my experience as a catholic has been incredible, it has also been difficult.
Ask most high school students about religion, and it is most likely the last thing on their minds. Even more so, the majority of religious people that I have encountered are with a non-denominational church or another branch of Christianity. Fortunately, I have found a youth group at St. Thomas that connects teenager from the Albuquerque/Rio Rancho area and helps them grow in their faith. Being a part of this group has given me a place to strengthen my religion and has also given me the chance to be a leader.
The hard part, however, is presenting my Catholic identity to my friends who are of other religions or are not religious at all. In fact, I haven’t been the best at showing it throughout the years. Being comfortable with whom you are as a person is not an easy thing; it takes practice. With that being said, I have grown more comfortable with myself in all aspects, including my religious identity.
My childhood best friend and I had parted ways in high school, so I was surprised one day when she asked if she could go to church with me. I of course said yes, but I soon found out that she was only going because her mother was forcing her too. While at mass, she was very disinterested- texting during the readings, trying to talk to me during adoration, and after a couple of weeks, I had started to follow along with her. I was no longer taking church seriously because I didn’t want to tell my friend that she had to be quiet, or even worse, tell her she couldn’t come with me anymore. I was more invested in who my friends saw me as, not in whom I really wanted to be.
The more I fell in love with my religion, the more open I was about showing it in public. The first time I made the Sign of the Cross in front of my friends was definitely a learning experience for me. They immediately began to giggle and began asking questions like “what was that thing you just did with your hands?” and “why does the Pope wear that big hat?” and “how can you accept a religion that covers up child molestation scandals?” For a moment, I felt wounded, but that passed within seconds and turned into smoldering anger. Without thinking, I defended my faith and what I believed in. It was something I had never had to do before. The payoff from it was big also; these friends who were making na</p>