Common App "person who had a significant influence on you" essay prompt

<p>So I've written out my rough draft on this one and I was wondering if anybody wanted to give me a little constructive feedback on it. I wrote it about an autistic boy I mentored at a summer camp I worked at last summer. It's still really rough but I'd definitely appreciate some tips on what I could be adding or getting rid of in this essay, any suggestions are welcome!</p>