Common app prompt #4

So after a bunch of failed essay drafts over the summer, I decided to focus on the new prompt in the common app this year:

“Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma—anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.”

I wrote about the concussion problem in the National Football league and about my passion for football. And then I proposed a possible solution to this problem and talked about how I want to pursue this issue further in the future.

When I showed it to my college advisor at school, he basically shut the idea down and said that although it was well written, it is not appropriate for college admissions. I can see how it might not seem like a traditional college essay, but I feel like I answered all the aspects of the prompt and connected it back to myself.

What do you guys think of this idea? Do you think this would be an appropriate topic for the prompt?

I was really excited about this idea because it felt like it was a unique topic that no else would have written about (especially after trying to write essays about running and music that sounded very cliche) but at the same time, my college advisor knows more than me about the admissions process.

Any advice is appreciated!

I think it’s unique. As long as it makes admissions officers think, “We really gotta have JakBlak at our school!” then it’s fine.

PM me the essay. I have no idea how this topic could be “not appropriate for college admissions.”

The essay needs to be about YOU. Maybe it was too much about the “issue” and not really a door into learning about you?