Common app short answer help!!!!!

<p>here is my common app short answer. can anyone please review it and offer any editing i could do to it or any other suggestion on improving it</p>

<p>"I started playing lacrosse four years ago, unlike most of my teammates who were given a stick at a very young age. Being the least skilled I was always thrown in the last few minutes of the game. The blow to my self-esteem was incomparable. I realized if I didn't go above and beyond I will always be in the bottom tier. I decided to take the initiative role as a leader. I began leading exercises and, through speeches, giving the team the motivational boost we needed when we were down. By the time I was a senior, I often helped inexperienced members by training with them outside of practice and offering my assistance whenever they needed it even if it wasn't Lacrosse related. Some of the skills I obtained included: motivating others, mediating problems, and determination. These skills helped improve my personal caliber. I realized the point of the team wasn't to win games necessarily, but it was to learn skills that can be adapted for a successful career."</p>

<p>Since you are new, I would just like to inform you that there’s a college essay forum here which specifically deals with editing essays. And you should never post your essays online like this. You should message them to people who sincerely offer to edit them.
For the essay,it seems ok on an overall context - I think you just need some final touches.
Revise each sentence individually and edit it so it flows well. I am not a editor so I don’t think i can give much help that way. but ask for help on the other forum n I m sure u ll get quite a few replies.</p>