Common Application Short Answer help

Applying to College Common and Coalition Application
1

<p>I'm trying to write the short answer portion in the Common App
and i know what I am going to write about but i wasn't sure on something....</p>

<p>I think I will be writing about Church mission trip experience to mexico but i dont know how to start it.
Should i straight out just talk about what i did in mexico and how i helped?
or give a little background in the beginning about the organization?</p>

<p>here's what i have so far please help.... Thanks</p>

<p>"Our church goes to Mexico every summer for a mission trip. The mission is directed by 4ChristMission and teams come from all over the country. In Mexico, our group plays and takes care of children whose parents are working and cannot provide care. Also, the mission group has built a school, so that children may come and receive education while their parents are out. I personally served as a co-director and translator for my church group. I was responsible for a group of 6 to 9 year old children and taught these children English and Mathematics. These children, when I first encountered them, were hopeless and had nowhere to go. However, the mission trip enabled us to give the children hope and sense of pride in their lives. I was able to see how the smallest act of good can affect the children and change their lives forever."</p>

<p>I feel like i should elaborate more and write how What i learned but if i say i learned the importance of thankfulness (or something like that) it sounds too cliche.....</p>

<p>Any tips?</p>

2

<p>Well, you’re right about the cliche thing, colleges get a LOT of essays about mission trips, volunteer abroad trips, and the like. So if it has really, honestly had a huge impact on you, I’d say straight off to find some very unique angle to approach it from, i.e. one specific aspect of it that maybe wouldn’t seem significant but was for some reason significant for you, or one specific thing a child said to you and the affect THAT had. Don’t make a broad sweeping generalization about learning from the trip as a whole; anyone who takes a trip to an impoverished area will probably learn a thing or two about perspective and thankfulness.
Also, as you’ve probably heard, personal narratives really need to “show” instead of “tell,” and in yours there’s really more telling than showing. Don’t give background to the organization; in fact, I’d just go straight into the specific experience that affected you most and maybe mention in the next paragraph where you were, how you got there, etc.
You shouldn’t feel disinclined to write about this just because it’s cliche-- because it honestly affected you, and made you a more mature person! You should be proud of that, just find some way to make your story stand out from the others. If you need more help, feel free to PM me as my essay also deals with a cliche idea so I had to go through the same thing. Good luck! :)</p>