<p>I don't know if I'm just stressed or if I may have an anxiety disorder or something more. I don't want to jump the gun on this and make my mom rush me to the doctor/a psychiatrist so I figured I would post on here and see if anyone has any insight. Basically I almost always am stressed. Whether it be about school, tests, friends, some social situations, really anything I get stressed about. I used to think that it was because I was a perfectionist and it was normal, but just from talking to people I'm begin to think it's not as common as I thought. For me, I just feel this intense need (in anything relating to school) to be perfect and that stresses me out. This in turn makes me feel overwhelmed and I semi-frequently (about once every month or two) will break down crying. I don't know if this could be not totally normal, but not something to be worried about or if I should be seeking medical advice. I know that most of you are not doctors, but just as parents what do you think I should do?</p>
<p>(I know many of you will say talk to my parents, but I know if I talk to them I know they will just say it's common stress and I should take less challenging classes next year)</p>
<p>Do you think your diet and sleep patterns could be improved?
Are you in high school?
I think talking to someone about your nutrition and sleep is a place to start.</p>
<p>Is there a school psychologist you can talk to? Or some other kind of professional who could weigh in on the issue? It’s hard to give advice over the internet about something that could potentially be serious—and very treatable. </p>
<p>I eat normally and sleep normally (which are what my parents always ask me when I bring this up). It’s cause of that I’m not really sure if it is something to be worried about. I am in high school and there is a school psychologist, but you have to go through your counselor first and your counselor usually just gives you handouts about time management when you say you’re stressed.</p>
<p>I think you could benefit from talking to a professional about your perfectionism. Are you female? Fear of failure is part of perfectionism, and it can really hold you back in life. A therapist can help you find ways of coping when you find yourself becoming anxious and stressed. They can help you understand why you feel the need to be the best, to be in control, and help you see that mistakes are not the same as failure.
I think I would talk to a psychologist outside of school, perhaps getting a referral from your physician. There’s no reason to accept anxiety and unhappiness as “normal” in your life. </p>
<p>Maymay, you are absolutely not alone and there are thousands of perfectly “normal” teenagers who feel exactly the same way you do. Please don’t worry about whether or not this is “normal” – believe me, it is very normal to feel stressed as an American high school student nowadays! But you don’t have to have a diagnosable anxiety disorder to benefit from talking to a therapist. Therapists, especially if you can find one who specializes in teens, are very accustomed to just helping people talk out their stresses and anxieties, and can give you coping strategies to help you deal with it when you feel overwhelmed and you want to burst out crying. It’s just very simple, basic stuff like holding positive thoughts in your head instead of letting your worries take over, etc. It could help you a lot with the occasional crying.</p>
<p>I understand what you’re saying about the counselor just giving you handouts about time management (haha), but if you specifically ask your counselor for a referral to the psychologist, surely they’ll give you one.</p>
<p>I think it is good advice to see a counselor/therapist, inside or outside of school. Or psychiatrist if the anxiety is really uncomfortable or affecting your life, because meds, even temporarily, can help. (Look at the next to last post on the thread in the music forum entitled “down the tubes.”) </p>
<p>There are many alternative modalities you can use for anxiety and perfectionism as well, though they take time and often money. Yoga, meditation, tapping, acupuncture, Tai Chi, and I highly recommend Reiki, particularly getting attuned for self-treatment. Do you exercise much? Seeing a therapist who does alternatives (including breathwork) can really help.</p>
<p>I don’t think you should think about what is “normal” but about what is comfortable or even bearable. To me, it sounds like you want some relief and help, so go for it.</p>
<p>You have gotten good advice so far. The fact that you’re coming on here to talk about this, probably means your stress is a little too high for comfort and you could benefit from some low-key help from a counselor. That said, you very sound normal to me! Some high-achieving students simply care a lot more about everything they’re doing than the average person. They are very hard-working and really want to to succeed, so they always put in 100% effort. When you put in a blood, sweat and tears effort, then you tend to care about the results more, right? A kid who didn’t invest as much time or energy won’t usually worry/stress as much as you do. Frankly, most teenagers don’t invest 100%, and you may be the only one you know in your high school who does this. Being this way can be incredibly positive! You are blessed to be so motivated. Now you just need to work on the accompanying negative aspects of this wonderful quality–the stress.</p>
<p>ps Don’t know about your school situation but many kids these days are taking way too many AP classes and surviving in what are essentially high pressure situations with emphasis on getting in to a top college etc. I think it is very worthwhile to look at your schedule, and downgrade some, and also focus more on things you enjoy, without any thought of being the best or how it might help you get in etc. (ironically, many colleges love kids who opt to follow interests versus a gazillion AP’s.) </p>
<p>Sometimes I enjoy things I am not good at, like art, because I have noe expectations of myself and just have fun! Maybe it would help you to do something you are terrible at :)</p>
<p>What do you do for fun? Do you have any down time and can you tolerate it?</p>
<p>I agree with @dustypig You do not need to have a diagnosis to benefit from the services of a therapist. Strangers on the internet cannot tell you if you should be concerned or if what you are experiencing is typical for your circumstances. Lots of kids feel stressed all the time and are perfectionists but do not have mental illnesses (and yes, an anxiety disorder is a mental illness). However, a real-life therapist can work with you/listen to you for a while and help you decide your next steps. </p>
<p>I don’t know that your parents aren’t giving you good advice when they suggest maybe you should step back from the most challenging curriculum. People without anxiety disorders can have a lot of anxiety in certain situations and getting out of the situation can alleviate the anxiety. </p>
<p>BTW, I’m betting among cc kids in particular, perfectionism and feeling under pressure all the time are probably more common than not. </p>
<p>Here is the post I was referring to:
I struggled with anxiety for a period in my early twenties. I tried talk therapy, biofeedback, exercise, healthy eating, reading self-help books - you name it. After a few miserable years, I went to a psychiatrist who prescribed a med (Prozac) and two weeks later I was symptom free and have remained so for twenty-some years now. Just want to encourage you to keep an open mind on the med issue, because there can be an underlying chemical imbalance of some sort that is fixable, just as you would take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.</p>
<p>^And another reason to see a licensed therapist. He or she can determine if you’ve got something for which you may need medication and make referral to someone who prescribes. Therapists who take your insurance need to be able to diagnose. </p>
<p>The important thing as someone said is not to worry about whether its normal but how uncomfortable or difficult is it for you. Consult school counselor or outside therapist but keep an open mind. Its very very important to address this issue before you go to college, while you have support at home. If you do have an anxiety issue in HS it could become worse in college so its important to get evryone in on the conversation at home and let them know you want to get professional counseling. Maybe just a couple sessions will be enough for you to get control of things and figure out how to handle it.It is very common yes, but that doesn’t mean its ok if you are in distress.</p>
<p>You should also get a thorough physical with your family doctor. You may end up wanting to see a psychiatrist also. Before you do that, you’ll need to rule out simple disorders (like hyperthyroidism and certain vitamin deficiencies) that can cause the same symptoms.</p>
<p>Be aware that most therapists have degrees in areas like psychology and social work. They cannot prescribe medicine. If you start having panic attacks, you’ll want access to some medication within a day or two, so it’ll be good if you have already started the preliminary work (forms, questionnaires, etc.) with your family doctor. Psychiatrists are also medical doctors, and most of them limit their practice to that – they don’t also do therapy.</p>
<p>Since no one has said it yet, please do not mask your symptoms by self-medicating with alcohol, weed, etc. In the long run they will only make the problem worse, not better. (I’m not saying you do this; it’s just a common response.)</p>
<p>Yes, definitely go get some kind of professional help. I had bad anxiety during high school as a perfectionist and over achiever. It got to the point where I was constantly crying from the stress, exhausted, and having panic attacks and trouble breathing. I was also having trouble focusing and was diagnosed with mild ADD. I went to a psychiatrist and she diagnosed me with severe anxiety and gave me a medication that has really helped so far. She also said I did not have any ADD, but that many with anxiety show ADD symptoms. The ADD meds I was taking were actually escalating my anxiety. Even if you don’t think your case is quite so extreme, I would still go if at all possible. Mine started out like yours, crying occasionally whenever I felt overwhelmed by the demands and my schedule, and rapidly escalated from there.</p>
<p>I was going to say the same thing.
Also, if it’s not external, there’s is something called obsessive compulsive personality disorder. It frequently co-occurs with OCD and anxiety issues. If a person with that set of symptoms is put into highly stressful situations, that will just about do away with their sanity.
Been there, done that </p>
<p>So: see a psychologist/therapist and figure out what’s going on. Maybe you just really need a lifestyle change and cut down on responsibilities in order to stay healthy. If your schedule is compromising your health, you have set your priorities wrongly. </p>
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