CommonApp essay input/critique?

<p>I finally finished it but it needs WORK</p>

<p>anyone up for a quick read and then providing critical feedback?</p>

<p>its due in four days!!! =O</p>

<p>Hahah, procrastinators unite. I’ll take a look.</p>

<p>I’ll read as well.</p>

<p>thanks, its been pm’ed</p>

<p>hopefully it sounds at least somewhat different</p>