Commonapp Essay Please Help!

<p>Hey everyone I have my commonapp essay I need looked over, grammar errors, whether I need to take something out, provide more detail, I was thinking maybe more dialogue? </p>

<p>If anyone is willing to help me out, PM me and I'll send it to you. I'm not a very good writer, so please destroy my essay. </p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

<p>Yes.10char</p>