<p>Hey y'all, my commonapp essays are basically done so I'm just looking for some more feedback, any suggestions are appreciated and I'd be thankful!</p>
<p>Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer, 1000 character maximum).</p>
<p>Politics and global issues have long been an interest of mine and considering our deteriorating environment I felt compelled to do something, anything. As a founding member, chairman and later secretary of my school's environmental club, EPK, I created that possibility to pitch in and have worked towards sustainable development in several ways. I have been affiliated with organizing our schools annual energy-saving week, resulting in many decreasing consumption by roughly 8000 KWh during that week. Further, I have coordinated bake sales as fundraisers that raised many hundreds of dollars to plant trees in sub-Saharan Africa through the organization WWF. As our small entourage believes that achieving sustainability begins with changing attitudes we are also raising awareness by for instance informing students at school.</p>
<p>Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.</p>
<p>[title missing]</p>
<p>My mother’s cooking, and great food in general, has definitely been an Achilles’ heel of mine for the greater part of my life. I still often joyously imagine the Schnitzels and Pfannkuchen she makes. The delicious smell created when the delicacies sizzled in oil always created a fantastic sensation, leaving me waiting eager with anticipation. However, my indulgent, unconstrained relationship to food has been replaced by one characterized by balance and control. Yet, more interesting is that both my body and mind have both undergone corresponding changes.</p>
<p>I was long troubled by the fifty or so extra pounds I carried with me before I actually decided to improve my situation and make it my goal to lose them. Luckily, this decision coincided with me finally being old enough to exercise at my local gym; I had long admired weightlifters and the sheer amount of mass they were able to pull off the ground. It was a perfect match, the immense determination I went in with was only amplified by the initial results I enjoyed. </p>
<p>Of course, I experienced setbacks, they forced me to adapt, and in an industrious manner I continued my struggle. My methodology was clear; determination and knowledge were to be pivotal to me in reaching my goal; these are what I relied on whenever I faced difficulties. Thankfully, I also had much support. This mainly came from close friends, parents and perhaps most important, my personal trainer and friend who taught me immense amounts. He furthered my interest, inspired me to sit up late nights, encouraging me to critically use sources to learn about nutrition and exercise. He opened my eyes to the vastness of disinformation available which had often clouded my view. The hours studying were sometimes spent resisting the urge to indulge, but most often I persisted, focused, eager to learn more and grateful when recalling everything I learnt and every ounce of progress I made.</p>
<p>Afterwards, I still remember feeling as if a monumental weight had been pulled of my chest, not only literally. The experience and all the things I had learnt transformed me as a person; as I, a year after committing myself, had lost almost fifty pounds I was suddenly free. My mind had become clearer. I realized the power of ambition and how it can shape you; it taught me not to give in, to be persistent, and to find solutions, working around problems by methodically attaining information. Not to forget, I found a sport that with all probability will remain a lifelong passion and interest.</p>
<p>I think the first one is better than the second, I feel that it is somehow missing "catchynes" or perhaps the final paragraph doesn't make enough of a point. Anyhow, thanks in advance for any feedback!</p>