Community

My university places a large emphasis on the word “community”. It seems as though every chapel service held is about being in a community, but since I arrived here in August, I have not found such a community on campus. I have attended class events, major-specific activities, and hall gatherings. I have yet to find a friend at the college. The hall leadership doesn’t even seem to care. I spend hours alone doing nothing because no one wants anything to with me. I try going to people and starting a conversation, but each attempt yields the same results, I’m treated as if I’m insane. I’ve tried counseling, but it hasn’t brought any results either. I’m still alone. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything, but I feel like no one honestly cares. I came to my university in part because I thought I’d be able to make friends and be in a close community with other people like me, but I was wrong. Not even my roommate likes me. The only people I can truly talk to are my parents because no one else will listen to me.

Please read this: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/2016222-to-those-who-feel-lonely-homesick-friendless-think-they-chose-the-wrong-school-etc-p1.html

I’m sorry, I know it’s so hard to feel this way. What do YOU want to do about the situation? Not everyone gets along with the kids in their hall. I doubt anyone thinks you are insane. People do care. Try seeing a different counselor at your college.

You have plenty of time to find your people. Get a campus job which will put you in contact with other people. A job in the bookstore, gym, or somewhere else where you will be in contact with other students is best. Volunteering is a fantastic way to meet people who will be non-judgmental and inclusive, as is getting involved in the campus ministry. You haven’t mentioned clubs, so try some. Have you joined study groups, or tried forming one? Meet with a prof who you like, ask for clarification on a topic, and see if he/she knows of other students who might want to study together.

Meanwhile, keep saying hello, make eye contact, and chat with others whenever you can. I know it’s exhausting and you can’t be “on” all the time, but try to remember that this is going to be a distant memory at some point. Find reasons to stay positive. Your tone here is quite negative, which is understandable, but is it possible that you are projecting a little negativity? Keep telling yourself that you are a good person and you will get through this.