<p>I think Miss Manners would suggest responding with a warm smile and a reassurance that you’ll be certain to consult her before your next child applies.</p>
<p>I teach at a school in Florida and many of my seniors apply to UF with the hopes of getting in. Every year, right before admissions are released, at least one student that is concerned their grades/test scores might not be strong enough to get in, complains about other students who applied who don’t plan to attend UF. “It’s not fair.” I always respond that </p>
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<li><p>Every one has a right to apply to any school they want to. </p></li>
<li><p>When kids first apply they may think they know where they will go to school but until acceptances and financial aid is factored in they probably won’t be able to make a final decision. This decision might not happen until late April.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Personally, (something I don’t tell my students) if a college wants you they will admit you and just because you want a college doesn’t mean they want you.</p>
<p>One kinder way to address this kind of thing is to answer the root insecurity instead of the actual comment. “It’s so hard to know what the colleges are actually looking for, isn’t it? I can’t imagine that geographic diversity is the only thing that makes a difference.”</p>
<p>Well, it is naughty but great fun to throw a big-eyed Bambi look at that Mother and whisper “oh, my God, didn’t you know??? It is terribly bad form to mention college applications between January 15 and April 2. It freaks the kids out and the parents can be just ghastly!” </p>
<p>Gush all over her with how awful it is that no one informed her of this social rule and make promise to spread the word to the other mothers. </p>
<p>Being really sweet and concerned while getting your way with things is called “Death by Sugar” in my west Texas upbringing. It is too much fun and works a treat.</p>
<p>Reading this thread reminds me how my mother was so disappointed I decided to go to my state supported school (western US) and didn’t even consider Caltech or MIT. All of my classmates parents were talking about big name schools, and I was perfectly happy with my state supported school. I wasn’t interested in big name schools, and it let her down. So she visited them on her own to see if I’d like it. I didn’t want to hear about how her college visit went becuase I didn’t want to go to school that she visited on her own.</p>
<p>I graduated from my state college 5 years later, and got an engineering job at Boeing. Today I make good money, have a stable job, am married, and do cool work. The fact that I didn’t go to Caltech or MIT didn’t hurt me at all.</p>
<p>“Being really sweet and concerned while getting your way with things is called “Death by Sugar” .”
LOL!! that is TOO funny! I’m going to remember that phrase!</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>It’s a southern confection served best with an innocent face.</p>
<p>We should treat the GPA and college aspiration akin to salary and what not. That would reduce the pressure on our students and us parents. It’s what I’ve been practiced long before discovering CC. I don’t volunteer where my D is going to apply to, nor do I ask others. I’ve tried to avoid answering the related questions as best as I could. For now, it’s the easy “undecided”. On CC it’s fine since it is anonymous :-)</p>
<p>“It’s a southern confection served best with an innocent face.”</p>
<p>Yep. With pitcher of iced tea in one hand and a plate of deviled eggs in the other. </p>
<p>But, truly, I think we CAN give families a break during the next sixty days. One can also loudly announce “I am SO BORED with all this college talk. Let’s talk Fantasy Vacations! Or Spring Training! Or Health Care Reform!” Pick your poison and let the kids and parents recall that there are other things going on in the world.</p>
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<p>I’ve heard this ad nauseam and I disagree.This is just sour grapes in my opinion. Schools know what their expected yield rates are and how far they have to dig into the application pool to achieve that yield. They are well aware that just because a student applies there doesn’t mean they will attend. At the end of the day, each student can matriculate at only one college, no matter how many they apply to.</p>
<p>IMHO, students have the right to apply any where they want. The top kid at my son’s school applied to son’s #1 choice(reach) as a safety and got in EA. My son got waited listed - I’m not sure it would have made a difference to son’s application if top student hadn’t applied there. I don’t begrudge that kid’s right to apply there, he’s earned his acceptance by being a top student. Interestingly, it was this kid’s safety but now it’s looking like he’ll go there…so you never know. It’s not over til it’s over.</p>