Concerned about finding suitable colleges -- I have Asperger's Syndrome and OCD

Parent Cafe
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<p>I was hoping that some of you who have children with similar challenges may be able to provide some insight into my situation.</p>

<p>When I first started the college search some years ago (yes, years -- I was a bit enthusiastic), I neglected one thing: my mental issues.</p>

<p>You see, I happen to have Asperger's Syndrome and moderate to severe obsessive-compulsive disorder. </p>

<p>I'm a senior in high school. My deadlines are fast approaching (luckily, the earliest one is still over a month off) and I'm starting to fear that the schools on my list will not be suitable for me. Suddenly, the realization that I am going to have to have a roommate is getting to me. Oh yes, I had considered this before, but it never really hit me.</p>

<p>I am selectively mute. I cannot look people whom I do not know very, very well in the eyes. I loathe almost any form of touch. I'm sensitive to loud noises (that might be an understatement -- does the word "meltdown" mean anything to you?). I need a very large amount of time by myself to recuperate from social contact. I do stim a bit, and I don't really know how a potential roommate would react to the fact that her roommate has a tendency to rock and scratch at her scalp. As I have great difficulty deciphering facial expressions and sarcasm, I also see potential for miscommunication between my roommate and I.</p>

<p>In addition, my obsessive-compulsive disorder does require me to complete a large number of compulsions that I think would unnerve any potential roommate. Sometimes my OCD gets a bit out of hand, and causes me to spend a considerable amount of time on one non-functional task and the most severe spells often result in a bit of a meltdown. While I am working on my OCD, this is something that I have been dealing with for most of my life; it is a battle that has been fraught with many setbacks, and thus the severity of my obsessions and compulsions fluctuates greatly.</p>

<p>I found out that some of the colleges on my list do not even offer single dorms. The ones that do give these almost exclusively to upperclassmen. In fact, I was recently informed that one of them only has doubles and triples, and that underclassmen usually receive the triples. Now, colleges that were looking close to perfect are starting to look far from it.</p>

<p>Is there any way that this can be made more manageable for me? Are there schools that are known for policies that would allow me some leeway in housing? If I can provide documentation of my diagnoses, would colleges be more inclined to make an exception for me in housing?</p>

<p>Thank you very much for any assistance you can provide.</p>

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<p>Just about every college has a disability services office that deals with kids with all kinds of physical and psychological issues. You probably should get in touch with that office before applying/attending any school. You will likely need their assistance on a number of things during your time at the school. For my kid with issues, we did due diligence on each disability service office just like we checked out all the other aspects of the schools we were considering. </p>

<p>Giving a kid a single room (if they exist on campus) or a waiver from the requirement of living on campus is probably not a big deal for the disability service folks to do. The general residence life folks probably don’t really specialize in dealing with those kind of things.</p>

<p>Good luck to you.</p>

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<p>Please buy Ann Palmer’s book Realizing the College Dream with Autism or Asperger Syndrome. She is the mother of a young man with Asperger’s who is a college graduate. The book addresses the college search process, the transition to college, disabilities service offices, classes, living on campus, etc. I would recommend it for any person with autism and his/her parents. It has been extremely helpful to my son and me as he has gone through the college admission process and the transition to college. You can order the book at [Ann</a> Palmer](<a href=“http://www.annpalmerautism.com/]Ann”>http://www.annpalmerautism.com/), at [Autism</a> Society of NC Bookstore](<a href=“http://www.autismbookstore.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc]Autism”>http://www.autismbookstore.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc), or through Amazon.</p>

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<p>Some ideas:
Like another poster said, talk to the disabilities office at prospective schools.</p>

<p>Googling “best colleges for people with asperger’s” gives us some lists to check out. These list colleges that have specific programs.
[College</a> Programs for Students with Asperger Syndrome](<a href=“http://www.collegeautismspectrum.com/collegeprograms.html]College”>College Programs - College Autism Spectrum)
[Colleges</a> for Students with Asperger’s: The Very Friendly Ones | CollegeXpress](<a href=“http://www.■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■/lists/list/colleges-for-students-with-aspergers-the-very-friendly-ones/421/]Colleges”>Colleges for Students With Autism Spectrum Disorder: The Very Friendly Ones | CollegeXpress)</p>

<p>Consider living at home the first couple of years and then move on to campus for the second years. That way you get used to school without also having to get used to living on your own.</p>

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<p>I have minor asperger’s myself. No meltdowns, but extreme, crippling stress. I lived in a double my first year and thought it would be okay, and it might have been had my roommate not been a mean girl, but I was miserable and in hindsight it was an experiment I never should have tried. The next year I was able to get the housing office to give me a single with documentation of my issues. I just want to emphasize the importance of not downplaying or dismissing your issues. College is going to make them worse and harder to deal with. You will probably be more exhausted and stressed than you have ever been in your life and it will take away your energy to cope with your symptoms. You have to find an arrangement at a school that will truly work for you and the full extent of your difficulties. This should be priority number 1 in your college search above all else. </p>

<p>You should also consider what kinds of accommodations you need for classes and talk to disabilities and see if they think they can do those things. They probably will not want to talk specifices with you until you are enrolled, but you should try. I have multiple issues, but the only aspergers-specific accommodations I used were a notetaker in foreign language classes, because my auditory processing was too slow to listen and take notes (I had a note taker in all classes anyway due to dysgraphia, but REALLY REALLY needed one for Spanish), and I also had an advocate at the disabilities office who was familiar with asperger’s to explain it to my professors as needed. My neutral facial expression is very blank and I am not very visually expressive, and I have had professors take an immediate dislike to me, thinking I have a bad attitude based on my body language, and have then resisted giving me accommodations or fair treatment in class because of it. Or who thought when I had trouble finding a partner for group work I was just being uncooperative, when really I didn’t know how to get someone to be my partner. </p>

<p>You can PM me if you want to chat about anything asperger’s or college related, I’d be happy to talk to you.</p>

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<p>Violet, how much help have your parents (or others) been in helping you meet deadlines, get organized, etc.? How is your impulse control? (Trying to determine whether you have Executive Function Disorder.)</p>

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<p>Thank you all for your input.</p>

<p>Missypie: Honestly, my parents have not had a large role in much of that. My mother left right before I started high school, and since then I’ve mostly had to fend for myself in the realm of academics. My father doesn’t do things like ask if I’ve done my homework, have any project deadlines coming up, or check my grades. I’ve been in all AP classes for the past two years, and for the most part, I’ve been fine. It can get a little overwhelming at times when deadlines all pile up at the same time, but things tend to work out. I am only an A and B student, and I do know that it is an issue with procrastination (I either start on something as soon as it is assigned or wait until just before the Point of No Return) and being unable to peal myself away from some of my fixations that tends to cause most of my issues. (As well as my issue in asking for help. Oops.) Despite this, I am a perfectionist and genuinely do care about having good grades. It tends to balance out.</p>

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<p>What state are you in and what are your stats?</p>

<p>Just mentioning that UT-Dallas has ALL suite dorms, so everyone has his/her own bedroom, and own sink. You share shower/toilet/small living area with 2 other people.</p>

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<p>I live in Texas. </p>

<p>My GPA is around a 3.5 UW and my SAT is a 2140 (R: 740, M: 650, W:750). By the end of high school, I will have completed 12 AP courses.</p>

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<p>You can get good merit aid at UTD for your scores. As it is you qualify for 3K per semester for tuition. Can you retake the SAT?–if you get only 10 more points CR and Math, you can get full tuition plus 2K per year for other expenses. They are pretty generous with AP credit.
There are a lot of “on the spectrum” students there.</p>