<p>midmo: Thanks for coming back to my original question! The cake in itself is trivial. </p>
<p>The parent friends here in my home state to whom I have spoken have had a similar experience as midmo - feelings of reassurance. One friends told me the dean at her D's school gave the students an emergency contact # directly to him. Another friend said the housing dean at their S's college compared himself to a summer camp director. Another at a large institution (UTAustin) said the RA gave the students their cell phone # so the students could contact them if they needed something. These were all above and beyond the call of duty!</p>
<p>shes not @ Reed is she? ;)
They are big on emphasizing that young adults are responsible and independent- and if not- perhaps not ready for college.
My D however was in a smallish dorm & while we didn't have cell phones- I did meet the RA & HA-plus when I and my younger daughter went down for parents weekend in November, we met half her dorm.
However- I had been prepared by years of spending the summers away from home- as a junior counselor at a residential camp- where we couldn't contact her unless we wrote a letter- and you know how good they are about writing back :D</p>
<p>I just figure if they really need to get a hold of me they will- I did have D sign a release for grades and medical care though- even though we didn't use them.</p>
<p>Soozievt - your cakes sound like mine. I've done trains, battleships (gray frosting is not pretty!), a cake with "batteries" topped by candles for a science themed party, a chess cake, a Star Wars cake and more than I can't think of now. In addition Mathson's cupcakes for school always had math problem or numbers in other alphabets or languages that were equal to his current birthday.</p>
<p>Our orientation at OSU was in July so I have to think back to how I felt...</p>
<p>I left thinking they have many good resources available to help the students and wondering if D would ever utilize them. The point was made that honor students have usually been successful in high school and they may not be good at asking for help. Students and families each received their own 2" binder filled with campus information and resources. Regarding the separation/independence issue, they stressed, "It's a process."</p>
<p>They had a cute video showing employees from the various learning/tutoring/counseling/research/study abroad/career services chasing after two students as they walked around campus trying to help them. </p>
<p>I was also thrilled about the various traditions D is going to be a part of. There is a lot of school spirit at Ohio State. :)</p>
<p>"friend said the housing dean at their S's college compared himself to a summer camp director. Another at a large institution (UTAustin) said the RA gave the students their cell phone # so the students could contact them if they needed something. These were all above and beyond the call of duty!</p>
<p>We have yet to get warm-fuzzies like this!"</p>
<p>Doesn't your D have the cell for the RAs? I'd think that would be SOP, so if your D doesn't have that info, I agree with you that would be a bit worrisome.</p>
<p>I didn't get to talk to S's RA at orientation last week, but I did talk to other students who are or had been RAs, and they did give out their cell phone #s to the students whom they were responsible for. One told me that he had told his students to contact him at any hour if they ever were drunk and couldn't get home. He said he told them that he'd pick them up --and also would write them up, but at least they would get home safely. He said that several took him up on his offer -- at all hours or the night-- and he did pick them up and write them up.</p>
<p>As for the camp counselor comment, I find that condescending. I wouldn't have liked it as a student, and I don't like it as a parent.</p>
<p>What college is your D attending? You may be able to get perspectives from other parents who know the college well if you mention it or give enough info about it that parents can give more informed feedback about your concerns.</p>
<p>It is annoying that they demand the parents detailed financial information and then tell you that the kid is an adult and has to stand on their own. It seems contradictory at least. If they are truly an adult, why do they need my financial information? That said, D's school has been pretty good about keeping parents in the loop in general ways. It's all about the money:)</p>
<p>At our daughter's orientation last week, we were told that we, also, were now part of the college family and that we could call if we had concerns or questions. The school will not release any information about individual students, but they will be happy to reassure us about the school's processes and if we have serious concerns about our kids, they will speak to the students and tell them "mom is concerned about _____, can we help you with that?" The college won't follow up with parents or provide any information, but the president said that he understands that it can be confusing for parents, as well. She's only been in college a week and I have actually called the financial aid office because I received her billing statement and it had an error (since corrected).</p>
<p>Concerning a different subject..... I still want to know</p>
<p>who was the Noble Prize winner and when did she say what you claim she said?</p>
<p>I would still like to know who said this....can you verify this information or is it just an unverified and perhaps untrue rumor you heard some where and decided to pass on……</p>
<p>At one accepted students day at a large city university the president attempted to console the parents by telling us he's been known to console students that look troubled that he sees walking around the university, maybe even giving them a hug. And all students know his home number. I thought it was sweet. My daughter thought is was a little creepy. </p>
<p>My husband and I both went to a UC. My daughter is impatiently waiting for us to drop her off at her UC. Neither my parents, nor my husband's parents, ever heard anything from our universities, they didn't even get the bills. The bills came to us, he forwarded his, I paid mine. At least I think we found a way to tell when the tuition and housing bills are due at her school, so we can send money. I'm thinking that's an improvement.</p>
<p>But thanks for that link for the birthday deliveries. Her birthday is in the fall quarter, and will be sneaking up on us before we know it.</p>
<p>My son filled out a emergency contact number when he first signed into his dorm. Also, the hospital, not the college, would try to contact relatives. I also gave his roommate our phone numbers with instructions to call if son is missing. Maybe you could find the nearest hospital to college where students are likely to be taken and give them info.</p>
<p>one other thought ... I know for at least one of my kids part of what would make a school feel like a great fit was if they knew during orientation the school was pretty hardcore about this is the kid's time and we'll treat you like independent adults. Maybe this school's attitude is part of what drew the OP's daughter to the school ... and it's a big mismatch of what the OP would like.</p>
<p>If anything, you'd expect a top 35 LAC to have the O-week speal down pat. What numbskulls would bluntly tell a large group of potential donors to 'back-off'? Believe me, the development office was cringing in the background.</p>
<p>When they hit you up for a donation, send back a nice note with a few quotes from the Orientation.</p>
<p>There are nicer ways to tell moms to lower the volume on their heli blades.</p>
<p>Oh, when I was in the hospital the university hospital did call my parents, as their name was on the insurance. Thanks a ton hospital. Scared my mom to pieces, and it wasn't that big of a deal. (They thought I had scarlet fever, they were wrong. Oops.)</p>
<p>That's funny about throwing orientations quotes back at them!</p>
<p>Does anyone doubt that they are really going to treat the students
like adults, when they treat the real bill-paying adults like
children (by lecturing them about their unacceptable behavior
before it has even occurred).</p>
<p>When they say "We don't want you to be helicopter parents."
I hear "We know we are incompetent, but we don't want you
complaining about it." I suppose that is unfair, but that is the
stong feeling I get from it.</p>
<p>I much prefer the warm "you are a member of the family" message
that some colleges give. It show confidence and trust all round.
Much friendlier.</p>
<p>
[quote]
What numbskulls would bluntly tell a large group of potential donors to 'back-off'? Believe me, the development office was cringing in the background.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Those were my thoughts exactly when I read the OP. I don't have that many illusions about why my son's private uni was so understanding about parental angst.</p>
<p>My four brothers went to a well-known Jesuit high school. When the oldest one arrived for orientation, the headmaster told the mothers that they should not, under any circumstances, retrieve or replace forgotten lunches. With humour intended, the head assured the mothers that in 125 years of educating forgetful boys, not one had starved to death. No boy would starve if he missed lunch one or two or even three times. Eventually, he told the parents, if mom did not replace the forgotten lunch, the boy would develop a system for remembering it.</p>
<p>My parents became lifelong donors to that high school.</p>
<p>Concerning a different subject..... I still want to know</p>
<p>who was the Noble Prize winner and when did she say what you claim she said?</p>
<p>I would still like to know who said this....can you verify this information or is it just an unverified and perhaps untrue rumor you heard some where and decided to pass on
[/quote]
Wish I knew what the h... this means.</p>
<p>One of the things that I have done about 'college birthdays' - seeing as I don't like the idea too much of shipping - or arranging for - a b'day cake - I send a BIRTHDAY IN A BOX - which includes the cake mix - pan - oil in a plastic bottle (if required) all measured out - all they have to do is add eggs - i also include frosting and some fun decorations for the cake. I include noise makers LOL and fun party stuff too. It has worked out really well - makes for a social situation as well - since the b'day involved is usually one of the first weekends of fall semester.</p>
<p>when I had an issue with my Ds HS, I sent a letter to the President, it needed to go that high as it involved several departments</p>
<p>I heard nada</p>
<p>I resent the letter with an update with new concerns</p>
<p>Nada</p>
<p>At the end of the year, I sent another letter, saying I was stopping my donations as the school had not done what it should have, and i needed to use that $$ in other areas for my D</p>
<p>"What numbskulls would bluntly tell a large group of potential donors to 'back-off'?"</p>
<p>I think Cheers is right on the money (pun intended!). It would have been kinder to say something like "There are limits to what information the college can legally dispense. But the college recognizes that there may be instances which benefit from parental involvement. We take great pride in our Deans, House Presidents, RAs, etc., and they are available to students, and you, should need arise. We do ask parents to let students resolve problems themselves, because doing for oneself is basic to good citizenship. But if students need support, I want to reassure you that it will be available."</p>
<p>That said, I don't think there was anything sinister in the Orientation message.</p>