Both sides of this debate are valid. Know your kid and be honest about how they will handle the stress of “merely” auditioning vs. auditioning AND performing for 4-5 solid months. If your kid is an anxious perfectionist, you/they may need to take a good look at what needs to happen to be happy, healthy and sane.
Of his own volition, my S opted out of most senior year performance opportunities in favor of focusing on skills training and audition prep/scheduling. He attended a PA HS and auditioning for fall show was mandatory - he made it clear to faculty that his audition preparation and two scheduled fall auditions would take precedence over his commitment to the show. Faculty was not pleased, but he was not cast. He understood that the stress of juggling everything would make him miserable and resentful - and a really lousy cast member. He only had two academic classes (one AP) and spent his “free” school-day time noodling on the piano, composing/arranging music and learning various digital/tech-related skills - HIS version of an ideal senior year. All “spare” evening/weekend time was spent in dance, voice and acting classes, and working out at the gym. He did the bare minimum to maintain the academic classes and during the height of the audition travels keeping up with the writing for AP English became a struggle and additional source of stress.
For a HS-aged student, my S had a pretty clear sense of self about how much BS he was willing to put up with. Even back then, he had little patience for wasted rehearsal time. He understood that being in the big fall production would put him over the edge when he felt he had more important fish to fry. His eye was on the future. But it’s easy to understand that not everyone’s eye is on the same “prize” at the same time.
Just as S had a clear sense of self in HS, now as a rising BFA college senior, we see that same “self” looking towards his next phase. What we suspected back then is coming to fruition. He has come to realize that being IN the shows is not as important to him as creating them - writing and directing. He has a voice and physical “type” that could probably aid in his “success” on stage. But what he knew/felt in HS - impatience with “standing around, waiting to be told what to do, where to stand” - has solidified into a fierce desire to have more control over the entire creative process. Although back then my H and I saw some of S’s resistance as a “doesn’t play well with others” streak (NOT good in the theater world), S’s inner self was wise enough to know that the whole shebang would have blown up if he had participated in more school productions. As a HS senior, his sights were set on getting into the best college option he could manage - he was ready to leave HS behind. He has no regrets over that decision.
At some point in the future, I suspect he will be going through this process again - for a writing or directing MFA. Ugh!