Confused as to what I should do

Parents Forum
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<p>sheldon, I know what you mean now :) It is really hard to spend so long working towards something, achieve it, and then be told you can't have it for another year! I felt very much as you did during my last year of high school - I was bored, tired, fed up. I wanted to be getting on with the rest of my life. </p>

<p>I understand your concern about feeling bored and discouraged, and I think it is very natural to feel that way after suffering the disappointment that you have. If I understand correctly, the deferral is a new development. You haven't had a chance to get used to the idea yet, so naturally you're not comfortable with it. </p>

<p>I also think you're wise to defer for an entire year rather than a quarter. As you say, friendship groups would have already been established, and it would be hard to integrate. May I ask what ideas you're considering doing for your gap year? If you are concerned about losing your study skills over the course of the year, you may want to think about doing some self-directed learning, such as an online language course or even learning a musical instrument. The discipline of regular practice when there are no deadlines or anyone telling you what to do is a valuable skill.</p>

<p>I guess what I'm saying is to try and think of this year as an unexpected opportunity to do something amazing. :)</p>

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<p>Haha yes indeed, a gap year is a great opportunity. As for what I plan on doing, I think I will enroll in some courses at Harvard Extension School or Stanford EPGY (distance learning) to stay sharp, continue playing the piano out of love and maybe land a part time job or internship.</p>

<p>One idea that has really been brewing in my mind is creating some type of initiative or organization to inform high school kids, especially fellow student athletes, of concussions. Their is such a dearth of knowledge on the subject, and flawed conventional wisdom continues to propagate amongst locker rooms. I'd like to see some kind of program created at my high school, and perhaps later on spread to other schools, where a kid is allowed to "stop out" from his studies until he recovers, or at least have relaxed deadlines where one does as much as he can manage (WE REALLY NEED A GENDER NEUTRAL POSSESSIVE PRONOUN!). </p>

<p>I mentioned this idea to the neurosurgeon and he said he would put me in touch with Chris Nowitzki, the former WWF wrestler and Harvard football player who has had something like ten concussions and has become a frontman for raising public awareness (he was featured in the Boston Globe a few months ago). If I could work with him to create something larger than ourselves, something that would benefit and inform others, then I think the gap year would be a success.</p>

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<p>What a great idea! And remember during your gap year, you will STILL be going to Stanford when you are ready to ! Nothing is lost by giving yourself time to heal.</p>

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<p>Oh, one more thing, sheldon - don't get concerned about other threads on these boards asking, "Should I take a gap year?" Most of them are from kids who either haven't gotten in to their "dream school", don't like the schools they've gotten into, or haven't applied yet. You're in the best position for a gap year - no more applications, no worries about "will colleges like what I've done over my gap year", and you know you're going to your dream school.</p>

<p>And your idea is great - it'd be great even for one of those "undecided" gap years!</p>

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<p>Sheldon: Of course I concur with the other sage parents who have already posted. I'd like to add that you have a tremendous advantage living in the Boston area as there is much available to do. You may want to PM Andi, who also lives in your area. Her son reluctantly took a gap year for different reasons, but he ended up having an absolutely terrific year. Perhaps she might share some of her son's experiences in the Boston area with you. I'll add that he's just finished a terrific year at MIT after his gap year. </p>

<p>My daughter just finished her first year at Harvard. Though she did not take a gap year, several of her friends did, as Harvard encourages all incoming freshmen to do. She often shares with me how delighted her friends are that they did so, and how they entered Harvard refreshed and ready to soar. </p>

<p>I do recognize that this was not in your game plan, but with a positive attitude (which I can see that you have) your gap year may just turn out to be an added bonus in your life.</p>

<p>Best of luck!</p>

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<p>I think deferring a year would be the best. Recover with ease, and be all charged to begin in 08.</p>

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<p>I love your idea of spending some time raising awareness about the effects of concussions, sheldon. Just remember to keep your activities in line with doctor's orders so you get the benefits of the year off.</p>

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<p>You might consider doing some volunteer work overseas during the second half of the year, something like Willing Workers on Organic Farms might provide an opportunity to brush up foreign language skills.</p>

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<p>sheldon, With two of the three doctors recommending against school this year, I would say this decision is a no brainer (no pun intended). H had a serious concussion years ago and was out of work for a solid month. He was not completely better even after that and had symptoms for months. You are fortunate to be able to take this time without having to worry about outside responsibilties to anyone but yourself. Take the time off, take it easy and get better.</p>

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<p>Hi Sheldon0789: I, too, am a Speech-Language Pathologist who specialized in Traumatic Brain Injury. For 20+ years, I was affiliated with a major Neuro-rehab center at a LA area hospital and ran an outpatient day-treatment program for young adults with TBI and had many, many post-concussive clients. </p>

<p>First of all.......PCS is the same as mild TBI. It sounds like you understand this, but you must treat these as serious injuries. The advice you have rec'd to DEFER from Stanford, is excellent. The reason is not to just sit back and rest but to prepare yourself for the rigor of Stanford so that you will be successful when you go, a year from now. The way your brain will heal from PCS or TBI is by actively engaging your brain in tasks to gradually challenge and reconnect. That is why individuals with TBI go to rehab/therapy if needed. You may not need a structured rehab program but you need to be actively engaging you thinking skills. </p>

<p>From your writing, you sound like a very bright, insightful young person. You should be just fine. Please take care of yourself in the future. TBI events are NOT isolated but are cumulative. Wear a seat belt always; Avoid contact sports; Be cautious. </p>

<p>Recovery from TBI/PCS can take months but recovery is not a passive process. </p>

<p>A few questions: Is the neuropsychologist that you saw, affiliated with a brain injury rehab progam? If not, you might consider having your test results sent to someone (Braintree, MA has one of the first and finist TBI programs in the US). </p>

<p>Have you seen a psychologist or social worker for counselling? The recovery for TBI or PCS can involve many subtle issues that can be best handled if you are in counselling. Go to someone affiliated with a program.</p>

<p>How are you doing with your every day tasks.....do you have any issues remembering, concentrating, organizing? Are you having any issues with shortened temper or altered personality? These are all common symptoms with mild TBI and are part of the recovery process. Ask someone you trust and who has known you a long time......Have you changed in any way due to the two concussions? </p>

<p>Consider taking a course at a local community college on a pass/fail basis. You got into Stanford, so take a low-key course that you should be able to enjoy and not stress too much over. </p>

<p>What you need to evaluate:<br>
- how has your ability to concentrate changed. Are you more easily distracted. Can you only work for shorter periods at a time. Do you need to alter your study environment to be effective? Remember, a college/dorm setting is very different than your home for studying....
- are you able to retain NEW information readily or do you need to alter the techniques you use to learn new info?
- how are your organizational skills? Are you forgetting to do somethings? Are you less neat? </p>

<p>See how you do with one class this semester and maybe take two next semester. </p>

<p>Get a part time job to see how you handle keeping a schedule and responsibilities while taking one class. Time management is critical in college and TBI can affect time management skills.</p>

<p>The Brain Injury Association of America has many excellent resources if you need them.</p>

<p>Take care and best wishes in the future.</p>

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<p>Thanks everyone again, and in response to blucroo:</p>

<p>I went full throttle my senior year, and thus got very little rest, but I did notice chronic time management issues, which I had never had in the past. I'm just hoping that the stress of schoolwork merely delayed recovery from my first concussion (as the second one occurred this summer), and did not inflict any further damage. </p>

<p>As for changes in temper, I've been quite frustrated with the injuries and what I saw as a lack of progress (no doubt due to the full load I placed on myself) in recovering, but other than that, none of my friends or family have noticed any real differences. </p>

<p>In terms of learning and concentration, I've found that playing the piano is more difficult, in both concentrating during practice and learning music. Capturing the subtle intonations has been harder, but this year I will continue to take lessons and hopefully that will improve.</p>

<p>On an optimistic note, I have begun meditating, and I feel like it is helping me recover. I can feel myself being able to use areas of the brain that previously went mute, its as if more blood is flowing there.</p>

<p>Thank you all again for all the advice, kind words, and well wishes! I will try and keep the CC parents updated!</p>

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<p>sheldon, I have to thank you and the other posters here for this thread. My d just suffered a Grade 1 concussion. She feels fine and the doctor said there shouldn't be any residual problems, but now I know what to look out for!</p>

<p>Good luck to you, and yes, please do keep us posted!</p>

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<p>Chevda: Hope your daughter is doing okay! Is she at school yet?</p>

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<p>Sheldon: Piano is a wonderful therapeutic tool for improving all sorts of cognitive and fine motor skills after a TBI. Be patient with yourself, recognize when you are having struggles that are due to the injury, but don't let yourself off the hook. Find ways to compensate for issues. If time management is giving you trouble, use a day planner (Franklin makes a great one for prioritizing). Definitely lighten your load and gradually add in more to do........Meditation, yoga and exercise are great too. Good luck and let us know how you are doing!!!</p>

<p>Chedva: Best wishes to your daughter.</p>

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<p>There's another option--and that is to go to Stanford on the five year program--taking two or three 'easier' courses per term for the first year--rather than a crushing load. See if you can get Stanford to agree to a pass/fail option for those first year courses. Ask your doctors what they think about that option.</p>

<p>The upside would be the steady intellectual stimulation. Your brain needs steady--but not too intense--stimulation. If you don't go to Stanford--you need to find appropriate therapy to help you regain lost function.</p>

<p>The downside of a five year Stanford plan would be the social scene. You can't binge drink or use drugs buddy. Not next year--not ever. If you aren't ready to discipline yourself on that front--then I'd agree with others--defer.</p>

<p>Unfortunately--the best Gap Years are the travelling ones--and you can't afford the health risks of independent travel.</p>

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<p>Ah cheers, while I think spending an extra year in college would suit me just fine, I don't think my parents would appreciate the penalty of the practice :). As for drugs and alcohol, I've been around both but have mastered the art of diplomatically declining, so I don't think that will be an issue.</p>

<p>And yes I agree travel would be the BEST, but alas I think I'll have to make the most of what Boston has to offer.</p>

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<p>blucroo - thanks so much!</p>