Confused & Lost

<p>Greetings, everyone! I'm an incoming senior, and I'm bound to graduate in 2013. For the past 3 years of my high school life, I've been living with a mentality of "I have to do this to get into a good college." I've joined several sports. I'm in several clubs. And I believe I get decent grades. And don't get me wrong. I love everything that I do, but now, I just look back and question myself, "What am I doing with my life?".
I'm so confused. I see my friends setting up college visits. I hear them discuss the colleges and universities they wish to attend and the majors they plan on taking. Yet, here I am. I don't know where I want to go. I don't know what major I want. I don't know where to start. Basically, I'm a blank slate. I'm just clueless.
My parents don't understand my position. They didn't have the opportunity to finish high school and much less, attend college. Whenever I mention college or my future, they just tell me to figure everything out on my own, and I know that. However, because of their actions, I'm just too scared to ask them to take me to visit colleges. Furthermore, I feel that asking my friends for help would just be an annoyance. They already have their own problems- why shoulder mine? I'm just so lost and just completely confused as to what I should do and as to what steps I should take. I don't know where to start. If anyone is out there, please give me some guidance and some help?</p>

<p>Your message breaks my heart! Don’t worry. Everything will be OK. First of all, in terms of finding something you want to do - talk to your HS guidance counselor! They should be able to help you with figuring out what to study in college, careers, etc. And they can give your parents tips, too, so you’re not alone in the process. As I type this I’m using the CC app on my phone so I can’t send a link but if this idea with the counselor doesn’t work, you can always take tests online that will help you figure out your personality type and/or what you could do in college.
One more thing I noticed is that it’s considerate of you to think about your friends because you don’t want to bother them, but if they’re really your friends they should be willing to help you. The whole college thing is stressful on HS students, but my friends and I always helped each other throughout the process if we had questions. Your friends probably know you better than a lot of other people and I’m sure they can help you figure out what’s good for you. A true friend is willing and ready to help. Best of luck to you!</p>

<p>Sent from my DROID3 using CC</p>

<p>OP, there are also some scholarships out there for first generation students going to college. Have you taken the ACT or SAT?
If you post your state, GPA, and scores, also what subjects you are interested in- then people can make suggestions.
I agree with asking the guidance counselor for help with college applications and scholarship applications. It is important to make early deadlines for applications for financial aid purposes and scholarships.
Your parents will need to be part of the FAFSA application for FA. Ask your guidance counselor to speak with them.
Ask for help from good friends- who are not trying to compete with you. I know this part is hard. One of my child’s friends is in your shoes.It’s not that her parents don’t care- it is that they are overwhelmed with the process too since they have not been through it. I have offered to help the student pick some colleges - but I also don’t want to intrude on their family. So it is possible some parent out there is happy to help you if you ask. Also ask a trusted teacher to proof read any essays for you.
Don’t worry that you don’t know what to study. Many colleges have general education requirements in a variety of subjects and give you some time to choose a major.</p>

<p>for starters you should read a book by loren pope “Colleges That Change Lives”
or at least check out the web site Colleges That Change Lives.</p>

<p>p.s. your friends maybe a little less sure then you may think.</p>

<p>Lots of seniors feel overwhelmed and have no idea what they want - so you’re not alone. Start with a conversation with your parents about how much, if any, money they have available for you to attend college. It’s the most important part of the equation. If they are low income and have no savings, your search will be different than if they have savings put aside for you or have a reasonably comfortable income. It could be a hard discussion for them - many parents don’t like talking about money with their kids - but you need to know this in order to do a good college search.</p>

<p>Also, see if there is another adult with whom you are close who could help you with this process. A teacher or coach perhaps who has taken an interest? Someone who has attended college - or has kids who attended college - who can help you steer through this, critique essays, ask questions?</p>

<p>And to get yourself started, check out your nearest state university - set up a visit (with your parents!). They have tours and information sessions all summer long. It might or might not be a good option for you, but it will give you a standard against which to compare your other choices.</p>

<p>You might want to start by thinking about those careers you are absolutely NOT interested in! Like, my D can’t stand blood and body stuff, so she knew she doesn’t want anything in the medical field. So rule out some stuff off the top, then think about what you DO like, or could imagine yourself doing some day. Stay broad…working in an office? counseling people? something with kids? You want to truly be happy and love what you do, so this is the time to think about that. Love animals? Nature? Then, look online for colleges that offer at least a couple of categories/ subjects that interest you. Do you know what your parents can afford for school? That will be really important. Work to identify the schools that will be affordable or can offer you good merit money. If you really aren’t sure what you want to study, the most affordable thing to do is attend community college for the first couple years, get all the general education stuff out of the way, and then transfer to a school that offers whatever interests you to finish. You will save a LOT of money this way. Do ask your parents to go see schools with you, even just the community college too. If you involve them in the fun stuff, they will learn too.</p>

<p>Relax. When I was at a college visit with my S, someone asked an admissions officer if applying as an undecided could hurt an application – his reply was “we don’t care what you write as your major coming into college because we know that half of our students change majors while they are here.” Unless you want to enter a specific field such as engineering or nursing, you don’t have to decide on a major now.</p>

<p>I agree with the above post though, eliminate things you aren’t interested in. Then use your first two years of college to take a variety of classes (many schools have core curriculum requirements you have to fulfill anyway) and see what piques your interest. Many college career centers offer aptitude/interest tests which could help to give you ideas. And try to get some internships in areas that are of interest to you to see if that could lead to a future career.</p>

<p>And yes, encourage your parents to come visit colleges with you. Perhaps they are a bit intimidated by the whole process. Let them know that you value their thoughts and impressions, that they know you better than anyone else and you trust their common sense, they may come.</p>

<p>AP, Where to start?

  1. Clarify you financial situation. You will need your parents input here. If your family doesn’t have enough money to pay for your college education, there are funds available. The first step is to ask your parents to use an on-line calculator to determine how much NEED based aid you may be eligible for you. If that amount works for your family, then you can put together a fairly open ended list. If need based aid isn’t enough, you can look for colleges that offer MERIT aid. But start with the calculator to get a general idea.(Need based aid packages are not exactly the same for every college, so this is just a general indication.)</p>

<p>1A. If your family is low income contact QuestBridge NOW! This is an excellent organization that helps high achieving low income students connect with academically rigorous colleges.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Put your eventual major to the side for now. As noted, unless you’re going into a professional program like engineering or architecture, you don’t have to decide that now. Think in general terms – sciences, humanities, social sciences. Some smaller colleges are stronger in one or the other. Big and medium sized colleges offer all three.</p></li>
<li><p>Think about what you might like in general attributes – geographic location, small/medium/large; urban/rual/suburban; politically active, artsy, sporty, fraternities/sororities? If you don’t know, try to visit a few colleges of different sizes and different “personalities” near your home. </p></li>
<li><p>Does your highschool have a college counselor? Set up an appointment right away.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Many of us felt as lost and confused at one point, but as you gather information your choices become clearer. This board is an excellent source of direction and no question is too trivial. Deal with the money first, though</p>