Consequence for underage drinking

Parents Forum
1

<p>So, in follow up to my "dreaded phone call" post a couple of weeks ago (no, not <em>THE</em> dreaded phone call ... just the news that my DS (a freshman) had been sent to the hospital after throwing up in the dorm after drinking one night...), here's the fall out ... any students reading, take heed and learn.</p>

<p>He got deferred suspension for 2 semesters, and has to take a 2 hour education class. What does that mean? It means:</p>

<p>1) ANY subsequent rule infraction in the next 2 semesters gets him suspended from the university for the remainder of the 2 semesters, no matter how minor;
2) He cannot live in the dorms next year no matter what (that's a stipulation of deferred suspension, which I don't really understand, but whatever...);
3) If he breaks another rule at any time in the next 2 semesters and is suspended, no credits that he takes elsewhere during the suspension period can be transferred to the university.</p>

<p>Functionally speaking, what it means is, his plans to live in his engineering living and learning community for this year and next year are gone; he can stay this year, but he won't be able to live there next year. And he really likes it, so that's a big blow, for one really bad decision.</p>

<p>If he sticks a toe out of line, he'll be moving home and getting a job. He'll be done with college for the rest of the year because (a) no other university will accept him as a transfer while he is on suspension from a university, and (b) he'll have to earn back our contribution to his education by paying for his first semester back himself and doing well, so he'll have to have time to earn/save some money. He will also be done with his current university permanently, because he will lose scholarship $, and we can't afford to send him there without the scholarship $, and there is no way he'll be able to earn enough to go back without taking on really serious debt. </p>

<p>This is not a kid who was ever in any trouble of any sort at home. So, don't think it can't happen to you. It can. One bad decision, and he's sitting on a razor's edge of his life completely changing. I hope it's enough to scare him away from any risk taking/limit pushing. </p>

2

<p>Whoa. That seems severe for a first infraction and a victimless “crime” (other than his own self). I am sorry this happened. Hope the two semesters pass quickly and without incident so you can relax. </p>

3

<p>It does seem harsh, and I think I would appeal the ‘no living in the dorm next year’ part after some time has passed.</p>

4

<p>Wow, sorry to here this. It’s very frustrating that “one stupid decision” can have such an impact for these young adults. </p>

5

<p>OP, did our sons attend the same school? I know exactly what you are going through! My S (who also studied engineering a few years back) received nearly the same consequences during his freshman yr for an underage drinking incident. I would suggest possibly appealing the housing suspension, but be sure to check to see if there is a deadline to do so. Good luck to your S and hopefully this will be a learning experience for him! </p>

6

<p>Wow. I’m sure glad my kids college doesn’t have such stupid consequences. Frankly I think the drinking laws in this country are terrible. My daughter was in Europe this summer could legally drink and did so responsibly which you are a lot more likely to do when you can drink with dinner or in a nice club. </p>

7

<p>Is this VT? </p>

<p>Anyway, this sounds insane…especially the housing next year consequence. </p>

<p>BTW…How does the school know that he didn’t throw up because he was sick? Do they have a right to know the results of his hospital visit? I don’t think so. </p>

8

<p>That does seem very punitive especially since he’s in the class underage drinking rules are supposed to protect. And every other kid in his dorm was probably underage drinking that weekend, they just didn’t get caught. So sorry for your misfortune. Alcohol education course and a warning should be enough for a first offense.</p>

9

<p>OP mom, sorry to hear all this. I am surprised at the severity of the punishment (i.e. to the level of deferred suspension). Maybe there is more to the story that you don’t know. As presented, he didn’t even consume alcohol in the dorm and just became ill there, which while the act was illegal, the offense did not even occur on school property. Perhaps this is a very restrictive college. I haven’t heard from any of the kids I know of such a punishment, but it doesn’t help your son to know that other places are more permissive. He has to deal with the set of circumstances he has received. He can wait until he is 21 to drink (however “dumb” people may think that this is). </p>

10

<p>OP so sorry to hear the outcome. Policies vary state by state and some states have very harsh (in my opinion) repercussions. He is somewhat fortunate that his “punishment” does not appear to include local law enforcement. I also know that some colleges and universities are working very hard to tamp down underage drinking through more punitive actions. My second son went to a college that had received a state grand to assist their anti-underage drinking and that particular college also had institutional harsh punishments. It is smart of all parents AND heading off to college students to understand their college’s policies.</p>

11

<p>I wish you would tell us what university this is–this approach would cause some parents not to want to send their kids their–and I suppose others would like it.</p>

12

<p>On the other hand they are letting him stay at the college…If they don’t have any consequences for drinking, then it tacitly encourages more kids to drink. He doesn’t get the privilege of staying in the engineering living and learning community. </p>

<p>If you look at possible consequences of many universities, they can be suspension, expulsion, dismissal from housing, etc.
<a href=“Evaluation of College Online Alcohol Policy”>College Drinking, Changing the Culture;

13

<p>The housing part seems overly punitive. Living in a college town, these are my observations: Students who like to drink, and drink a lot (every weekend), are not deterred by any consequence, no matter how grave or detrimental. They are here for the party. Or they decide to join it once they arrive. Students who don’t drink find each other and stay out of the maelstrom. They make their own choices and are uninterested in consequences since they are not part of the problem. </p>

<p>But those students in the muddy middle often respond to consequences so severe that they stay away from the party scene. Those are the “one mistake” kids who learn the lesson the hard way, but they do learn it. They are also the “can’t afford to lose my housing or scholarship” people. IMHO, too many universities turn a blind eye and give lip service to preventative measures. (Should the legal age be higher? Would it matter? Different questions) </p>

<p>Every year here, students are killed/maimed in falls, accidents, and hundreds clog the ERs with alcohol poisoning. They lose schoalrships, jobs, credentials, and honors placement. One notable case was a drunk student driver (now serving 5-8 yrs) who ran over a drunk pedestrian (now paralyzed). Another is an honor student who went to a party the night before graduation, drank too much, and was killed after walking directly into traffic. Friends also too drunk to stop him. Needless, stupid, and entirely preventable. Some mistakes you can’t recover from. </p>

14

<p>The problem I see is that there are hardly any college students who believe that drinking is a bad decision except for the possibility of being punished for it. How could they? They know that at age 21 it magically becomes a perfectly normal and acceptable thing to do that is celebrated in movies and TV, and is heavily advertised.</p>

15

<p>^ @Hunt Bingo! In talking over the drinking/drug issue with my son (now a high school senior), it appears that he and many other kids his age care only about whether they will get caught. Other moral/ethical implications seem to be largely ignored by these late teens. Sometimes I feel like I am talking to a brick wall (or an alien species!). I think the influence of parents is often far outweighed by the influence of peers and the media, but I hope the message of moderation and self-restraint takes hold somewhere down the line (hopefully sooner rather than later).</p>

16

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<p>With the legal age being 21 (instead of 18 or >22), that also means that some traditional-age college students can legally possess and drink alcohol, but others cannot. So enforcement becomes more difficult if the school has to deal with it (e.g. in dorms), so the school may choose to compensate with overly harsh penalties for a deterrent effect.</p>

<p>The ban from campus housing does not seem to make much sense from a “rehabilitation” standpoint. The actual problem drinkers probably will want to move off campus (perhaps into fraternity houses) anyway to get away from school dorm rules.</p>

17

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<p>If it is legal in your state for him to drink under parental supervision, then what about this idea: have him drink under supervision and have someone take video of how he acts after each number of drinks. The next day, the nasty hangover and the video of how he acts while drunk may be a better deterrent than any lecturing or finger-wagging about drinking.</p>

18

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I couldn’t have said it better! It just seems wrong-headed. Maybe they should require him to be in a wellness dorm, but being banned from campus housing just makes drinking easier.</p>

<p>I don’t know any teens who think the current drinking laws make sense, including ones like my son who don’t drink. Unfortunately I don’t think there is any research showing that (legal) drinking at home inoculates kids from overimbibing in college. And if I recall mini’s summaries of the research, if anything just the opposite.</p>

19

<p>IMHO, he should appeal that part of the ban, the “no special housing next year”, and try to negotiate perhaps a different “punishment” or community service to get back in their good graces.</p>

<p>If the punishment is on a case-by-case basis, he could have a chance to appeal that one part of the decision.</p>

<p>I’ll agree that keeping him on-campus in the dorms should help decrease drinking, and being off-campus would increase it.</p>

<p>(I don’t believe legal drinking at home helps, I was given beer since age 12 by my aunt and I almost died drinking in college. I don’t believe “shaming him” about what happens when you are drunk is a good idea either.)</p>

20

<p>

What, exactly, are these moral/ethical implications to drinking? At least, what are they as expressed by someone who doesn’t think that drinking by adults is immoral or unethical? I think the argument that breaking the law is immoral is tautological.</p>