“Why all the fear” @helpingteens
This is the question that keeps me up at night. Truly.
Until recently, it was difficult for me to let go of the “brand name” validation that I think my child deserves. I still consider myself a recovering addict. LOL.
If I was honest to myself, I might admit that the fear springs from my idealized view of merit: the idea that if you work hard, you will be rewarded. As an adult, I know this is not always true. But as a parent, I can’t help but wish it were true for my kids. My fear is that reality will contradict everything I’ve taught my kids about merit. There are many years of old-fashioned tiger parenting practices (in a good way) in which I tried to instill in my children the importance of giving 100% because life doesn’t reward half-assed effort. I’ve taught them to not settle for less than their best and to not give up until they conquer/achieve mastery. I fear that I gave them only one half of life’s most important lesson.
The other half is that, life is not fair. You may not be rewarded in the way you want to be rewarded (big name school).
That’s okay.
The first part of that life lesson still holds. Striving for mastery in whatever you endeavor, doing more than the minimum requirement and enduring/out-smarting hardships (what people call grit) are indispensable survival tools that are fail-proof in the real world. Whether or not your dream school recognizes it in your application and admits you or not. I have no fear my child will succeed. She’s been taught well. ;)). It’s very freeing to think this way. LOL