Considering a room change, how to tell the suite?

College Life
1

I’m considering moving to a different dorm because of persistent noise issues in my current living area. I live in a suite-style dorm with seven other girls. I like most of them, but they are frequently loud on weeknights / don’t respect the quiet hours. One of them brings friends over at 1:00-2:00am after they’ve been partying - we’ve argued about this and aren’t on good terms at the moment.

With the exception of this girl, I get along well with the rest of the suite, and I don’t know how to tell them I’m moving. I really like them as friends, but we’re not compatible suitemates - I like to go to bed at 10-11 and have quiet (more or less) in the evenings for studying. Having to deal with this is making me feel constantly resentful and irritable, and I don’t want to be insensitive when I tell them. How can I do it without alienating them as friends?

2

Are you sure that you can find a quieter option? If you do, then you just tell them. You have to accept the consequences, good and bad, when you make this kind of decision. Welcome to adulthood.

3

I don’t think it has to be a big thing.

Something along the lines of “Hey guys, I can’t stay up as late as you guys. I’m going to room with some other morning people next year.”

4

I also don’t think this is a big deal in any way. “I like you all as friends but we have different sleep schedules.”

5

@NorthernMom61 Yes - I would be moving to a living area for upperclassmen. It’s also a layout better suited for quiet. Currently I’m right between the 2:00 am girl and the bathroom - not ideal!

@bjkmom Thank you! It would definitely be less awkward if I were moving at the end of the year or semester. Unfortunately, it’s affecting me so much that I would be moving ASAP, probably by the end of the month - so it’s not a clean “let’s just part ways”.

6

@catbird1 Just say the difference in sleep schedules is affecting your health and studies. You wish you could be a night owl but your just not.

This is a very common room switch reason. Many people have to sort based on sleep.

7

Keep it light and positive (and make it more that it’s your problem you have to deal with, not them): I love you guys, but I’m just not much of a night owl. Lack of sleep makes me grumpy, and I think I’d do better with people who have similar sleep schedules.

8

I would go with telling them the truth – that you value their friendship and hope it will continue throughout college – but that you are finding it too hard to get the sleep you need in the current living situation and it is unfair to expect them to chance their habits so you decided to move to a quieter dorm.

9

You have already talked to them directly.
Next go to the RA and let them know they are bringing people over late.
They are violating quiet rules. You all may need to sign a roommate contract.
Then see how things go.