<p>Ok, maybe just a little hyperbole. My son graduated in May and is looking forward to happy matriculation to the college of his dreams. All is well.</p>
<p>It's me. I spent many long hours volunteering at his high school activities--mostly his extracurriculars. My experience was a positive one. I made lots of friends among the other parents, and I felt I was doing good and benefitting not just my son, but all the kids. I gave my kid lots of space, so he never felt I was spying or infringing on his territory. And as graduation approached, my co-volunteers all repeatedly told me how much they valued my friendship, and how much I would be missed.</p>
<p>Now it's over. I just heard about a meeting that was held for volunteers, and I wasn't invited to it (of course). And my heart broke.</p>
<p>Let them know if you want to be included. My youngest son’s school has many former students and their parents still attending events and volunteering. And we welcome them with open arms.</p>
<p>After my D. left for college, I was at loss what to do. She was heavily involved with EC’s and I was the one who was taking care of whatever was needed, made friends…</p>
<p>At least I am working full time and exercising about 2 hours / day. So, I needed something to fill evenings and weekends. I just tried brand new thing, sign up for class, was lucky that they had enough people to fill another session, otherwise, there is normally waiting list. I am in love with this activity, class is fun, doing a lot on my own, got accepted to proffessional guild. Worked very well, no depression, no shrink bills. </p>
<p>Strongly advise to explore outside of your comfort zone, you never know what you can find until you try. It has been fun! Some people say that they envy me, but why, there is something for everybody out there, it is up to you to find out.</p>
<p>I understand skyhook. I was not a big volunteer and felt involved with the life of the school through my D and her friends. I think I might start volunteering as it will certainly leave a void in my life not being involved. Or is that just pathetic?</p>
<p>While the kids are about, their lives kind of dictate some of the things we get involved in. Once they are done, we can pick things which are meaningful to US. Personally, I’ve always thought volunteering at the library, or as a literacy volunteer would be appealing.</p>
<p>I know several mothers who found they missed high school or junior high once their kid passed through and they went back and got thier teaching certificate (not tough to do if you already have your degree), and one got an MSW and is a school counselor.</p>
<p>“Now it’s over. I just heard about a meeting that was held for volunteers, and I wasn’t invited to it (of course). And my heart broke.”</p>
<p>They probably assumed you weren’t interested any more since your son has graduated. If you let them know that you’re eager to volunteer, you’ll be welcomed with open arms.</p>
<p>There are plenty of other places, too, that would be eager to have volunteers who like to work with teens and organizations involved with teens. Your problem will be " so many options, so little time…"</p>
<p>In 20 minutes I leave to volunteer with HOBY – the Hugh O’Brien Youth Leadership Program for rising high school juniors. I became involved after S - a rising college senior – was in the program. Once they knew that I wanted to volunteer, I got invited every year to help.</p>
<p>Skyhook, I am glad that no one has yet blasted you and told you to get a life. I, too, am facing major life changes. My only child has been a major focus for many years. I KNOW that life will go on and that I will be quite happy with more freedom but is still a sad time. My degrees and most of my work experience was in education so it was natural for the teachers to call on me when a job needed to be done. When I tried to step back when he entered middle school, I was asked to be on a policy making committee which carried over into high school. Our urban district has such great needs so I guess that I can choose to stay involved but it will be different. To compound the sense of loss, our high school is being dissolved after 2011.</p>
<p>There are many non-profits out there that are in need of motivated volunteers. With tighter budgets due to reduced giving, many have cut worthwhile programs. My favorite organization is Girl Scouts, but there are many others. Determine your passion and I’m sure you will find some group in the community that would welcome you with open arms.</p>
<p>I hear the empty nest syndrome making its first appearance. When my youngest started college, my wife and I attended a parents session that was given by a Psychology Professor. The professor had sent two girls through college (his college) and talked about the empty nest syndrome. His bottom line was not to expect to be comfortable as an empty nester for several years. It takes a while to adjust after 18 years of daily parenting. You need to rediscover who you are after relegating your own needs to the responsibilities of daily parenting. (BTW, you NEVER stop being a parent–just not on a daily basis). </p>
<p>My son is a rising junior in college. I am still getting used to being the empty nester but I am finding my way. </p>
<p>Take heart. You need to be patient with the changes that are coming in your life but if you son is headed to his dream college, sounds like you have done your job with him quite well. It is just time to readjust.</p>
<p>Like poetgrl said, I was one of those mom’s that saw the writing on the wall - the kids weren’t getting any younger. I went back and got another degree and started a whole new career path. </p>
<p>As my kids grow into adulthood, I have new challenges to deal with and learn in this path. I don’t think I would have done it, without the realization of the empty nest looming.</p>
<p>There are tons of organizations that need good volunteers. Think about what you want to do. What are you good at? What drives your passions? Ask around. Everyone knows someone or a non-profit that needs worthy volunteers. :)</p>
<p>Everyone has good suggestions. Just wanted to add that I found the summer before my D went off to college to be the hardest part of the transition. Also, a couple of weeks after she left, to be honest. But once your S has left, you’ll probably find interests, old and new, that you didn’t previously have the time for, and your plate will be full again, I promise.</p>
<p>Skyhook, they probably just don’t want to impose. Speak up if you want to continue volunteering; they’ll be thrilled to have you. But bear in mind that it may not have the same meaning for you over time, which is normal and healthy.</p>
<p>When geek_son was graduating, many parents asked me whether I’d still be around for school events and the like. I said that I’d show up if I could, if someone asked me to attend a specific event. Sometimes they asked, sometimes they didn’t. That worked out nicely, as my work hours have increased, my job has become more demanding, and my life has filled with other things. :)</p>
<p>I always took time to volunteer at my son’s school and felt the exact same way as the OP. But a couple of months later, I wanted to move on as well. I suppose, I could chalk it up to being selfish, I dunno. It just wasn’t as much fun. :)</p>
<p>Plus, like geek_mom my work life became incredibly busy too.</p>
<p>All of the above is good advice. A dog would also help. They are needy (but not too needy), fun, enthusiastic, cute, engaging, and appreciative. </p>
<p>When I saw American Beauty, and watched the Kevin Spacey character get all creepily involved with his daughter’s cheerleader friend, and the boy-next-door drug dealer/Zen cineaste, all I could think was “Buddy, get a dog! I like beauty in my life, too, and seeing things from new angles, and companionship, and that’s what my dog does for me.”</p>
<p>Just keep in mind how much responsibility caring for animal is, and so restrictive and expensive, have to place the dog to go on vacations, Vet. expences…etc. Definitely not for someone who seeks to do what they want without any restrictions. As long as this living creature is going to be taken good care of and care giver has fun with it, it might be very beneficial, otherwise…more burden.</p>
<p>Right, of course. But the OP isn’t complaining about wanting to go off and do things without restrictions. She’s complaining about how empty her life is going to feel without all those obligations in it.</p>
<p>I forgot to add that walking your dog is a great way to meet your neighbors and other people in your community. I have a number of real friends who began as dog-walking friends.</p>
<p>Understanding that you have no intention of becoming a helicopter mom, I have noticed that my kids’ colleges now have active parents groups, and I’m sure they’d welcome your volunteer skills for events (don’t know how far away the school is from your home, but some of these activities are regional or online).</p>