Constructive criticism for my essay?

College Essays
1

<p>Looking for readers for my first Common App essay draft. It addresses the first prompt, tinged with a little bit of first generation college student/low income struggles. I've developed my writing through reading a lot of nonfiction and journal articles, so my syntax and sentence structure tends to be cumbersome, but I'm more so looking on feedback for the theme/overall impression of the essay. </p>

<p>However, I do not want to be giving out my essay to random people over the internet. I think that's a really bad idea. If you're legitimately interested in helping, personal message me first, with your first and last name, email address, state that you live in, colleges that you're applying to, and for good measure, a social media account(facebook, twitter, ect). </p>

<p>I can edit your essay in return, if you'd like, and I can provide the same level of transparency about my identity. </p>

<p>thanks!</p>

2

<p>You’re going to get very few responses, if any, based on all the info you’re asking us to provide YOU if you want OUR help. I, along with many, never reveal their real name/email/personal info on the internet. Good luck…</p>

3

<p>^Exactly. I’d be happy to help you, but I’ll only give you my email. If you want, I can procure some quick references from other CC users whose essays I’ve edited.</p>