I’m wondering how best to proceed here. My S23 is very, very much hoping for Whitman, which requires the CSS Profile. S hasn’t seen their father in years, but father pays the minimum court ordered support (ergo. there aren’t grounds for a CSS waiver). Father is wealthy but also will both not contribute to college, nor will he fill out CSS Profile. (So no matter what, there is no qualifying for need based aid).
S23 just submitted the financial aid pre-read form to Whitman, and you need to check a box about whether or not you are applying for need based aid, or “I am not applying for need-based aid. I just want an estimate of my merit-based scholarship amount.”
So S23 checked the latter box as that applies to us.
There is a healthy 529 account (funded solely by my parents and myself) that puts Whitman within financial fit range if there’s also a healthy merit aid award, and if that’s the case - S23 very much wants to apply ED. (Kiddo has about a 3.96 UW, and a 1540 SAT - they submitted GPA and scores as part of the pre read form along with their upcoming year class schedule.)
I am wondering if I should contact the financial aid office and briefly explain the situation: that the reason we aren’t applying for need based aid isn’t because we are wealthy (we aren’t) but that other parent has refused to fill out forms or contribute. That Whitman is S23’s top first choice, and we can make it work with a great merit aid award, and S23 would commit to applying ED if it’s a number that works for our family. Otherwise we do need to stick to FAFSA only schools.
The only reason I would do this is because IMO saying you’re not applying for need based aid indicates you don’t really need aid at all, and the merit aid is just a little token that “would be nice” and we’re otherwise good to go to apply.
Am I overthinking this? Should I not say anything until a number comes back and hope for the best and then only reach out if it’s much lower than we could make work?
I have to say I am completely confused. I suggest you practice this story before calling.
As I get it, you need need-based aid. However, because your ex is a stinker, you are not eligible for need-based aid. Do I have this right?
Your plan is to get the aid you need, but to have the university call it merit-based. Is this right?
If so, I would not count on the university figure this out on its own. I also question whether they will go along with this plan - if I have it right - and you should plan assuming they will not.
I am under the impression that the family doesn’t qualify for need based aid because the father makes a high salary (parents are divorced).
The father, sadly, will not pay anything more than what is mandated by the courts.
Unfortunately there are other students out there who are in the same boat. Parents are divorced …and one parent, who is “wealthy,” refuses to pay.
It seems to me that this student needs to hunt for merit, and ED should be off the table so that costs can be compared.
I would look at the NPC. I also see no harm in responding to the email and asking for a merit estimate. Colleges are fully aware that many families do not qualify for FA, yet cannot afford to be full pay. This is very common.
You’re correct; you can not compel any parent to pay for college (divorced or not), but obviously need based aid is pegged to parental assets and income. I was attempting to explain that it’s moot either way; father will not fill out the forms (and without a form there is no allocation of need based aid), and if he were to fill out the form we wouldn’t qualify based on his income. And he won’t contribute.
The financial pre-read is rather unique to Whitman - done so that you can make an informed decision about ED (or not!); they open it up in July and the pre-read guarantees the minimum amount of financial aid the college would award if you were to apply and were accepted (they occasionally award more than their pre-read result, but the minimum guarantee gives families an amount that they can consider before they apply. Thus democratizing the RD/ED decision process.
I’d do two things. Contact FA to explain that you can’t fill out the CSS without a waiver as the ex will not complete it. Ask for their suggestion on how to proceed (not complete it or ask for a waiver).
Then contact the admissions office for the merit pre-read. Tell them you can’t rely on need based aid because of the CSS/non-helpful ex situation but can only attend with the merit award. See what they say. You aren’t the first family to experience this. The answer might be no, they can’t help you but you are no worse off than you are right now.
I used to think schools were cut and dried on the waiver thing, that if there was another parent who just wouldn’t complete the form the student was just SOL. However, there have been a few posters in the last few years who were able to get waivers when I didn’t think they would. One was at St. Olaf and other LACs. I think schools are more compassionate now with non-helpful exes.
Not to meddle but just to suggest- I assume that your kid’s dad pays court ordered support for two reasons- one, he is a law-abiding citizen, and two- he harbors some residual feeling for his child.
Has your kid tried to reach out to him (recently) to elicit his help, advice, etc as he starts planning for college? I’ve seen some dads re-engage with their kids when they feel they aren’t “just a checkbook”, but that their expertise and wisdom are sought after.
Dumb idea if your ex has shut down all attempts to be involved in the family. And of course- very dumb idea if there was abuse involved. But a wealthy dad might be more inclined to come around to “doing his part” if it didn’t come from your lawyer, if it didn’t come from you, if it didn’t come from a judge… but came from his child.
Just a suggestion.
And yes, contact financial aid. They’ve seen this before…
Or third, it is paid directly from an employer to the court. Many states no longer give an option to pay it directly but require it to go through a court process.
Not all colleges that require additional FA forms beyond FAFSA require non-custodial parent financial information. Examples include Chicago, Vanderbilt (usually), and UNC-CH. Princeton requires the non-custodial parent financial information if the custodial parent has not remarried. Some public universities (most of which only use FAFSA) offer good need-based financial aid to their in-state residents only without requiring non-custodial parent financial information.
However, if the student really wants Whitman, then the non-custodial parent issue is a problem there.
For merit aid? Does Whitman require the financial aid forms for consideration of merit aid? This is THE first question you need answered. If they don’t require the Profile for merit aid consideration, then you just need to see what potential merit aid Whitman will offer your student. It looks like their net price calculator gives merit aid estimates too.
In my opinion, the most important info you can convey is what your family can and will pay annually for college. While Whitman seems to be a top choice, if it ends up being unaffordable, please let your student know now that it’s off the table…if it is.
I agree with the advice that you should discuss the situation with the financial aid office and ask their advice. More generally, though, I am not sure that just checking the box that you are not applying for need based aid signals that merit aid would be just a token to you. We checked that box for all of S19’s schools, and he received generous merit awards from many of those schools. Although your situation is different, the schools are well aware that many families fall somewhere along the spectrum (in the donut hole), where they won’t qualify for need-based aid but still need some help with the costs.
If the only issue is truly merit-based merit aid, I wouldn’t bring in the whole ex- and need-based part of the story. It’s not relevant.
If the intent is that the school substitute merit-based aid for need-based, which you cannot get because of your ex-, this looks tough. Certainly not something you can count on.
We had experience with schools offering merit pre-reads the summer before senior year for D20. Every pre-read actually led to a higher than quoted offer with the acceptances (by about 2-3k depending on the school). The higher than quoted offers basically took into account the increased cost of attendance for the following year.
If the financial aid merit pre-read comes back favorable, I would trust it (if that is what you are concerned with).
If it doesn’t come back high enough - that might be when I had the conversation about the family circumstances with the inability to compel ex to fill out CSS with the school.
One thing we did take into account (because we too were looking for non-token merit) was how much COA increases had been the past several years before D20 applied. Her merit has not changed but the COA has increased every year she has attended college. So we pay a bit more every year (1-3k each year thus far) as we had factored in during her admission cycle. I know some parents can be caught off guard by that, especially when budgeting for merit only offers.
Yes; Whitman is generous with their merit discounts, which is terrific. According to their CDS, I think kiddo should be in the top 10-15% or so stats wise, which is why I am hopeful and optimistic about a merit award…? I suppose it’s a matter of degrees - if he were to get a top merit award of $20k-$25k then he’s absolutely applying ED and we’re crossing our fingers on acceptance.
Thank you for that perspective! Yes, the annual increase is something I’ve thought about as well; that can easily an extra $6k-$15k after four years if you’re only multiplying year 1 by four. (And if you’re looking at the prior year’s COA and not tacking on the increase for the coming year).
Definitely call them and explain! My D is considering Whitman as well. We are waiting on her June SAT scores to do her pre-read. Everyone there has been so nice and helpful. Wish you and your student the best!