<p>I'm about 85% sure that I'll go to a college that's at least 2 1/2 hrs. away, and therefore, I'll have to dorm or live in an apt. My parents are really old fashioned, I have my heart set on either JHU or University of Chicago. So how do I go about convincing them?</p>
<p>November of your senior year, borrow their car without permission and wreck it.</p>
<p>How old are you now, desibeats? If you do all the things that would make you a good candidate for JHU or U Chicago, in the process you’re likely to gain your parents’ trust. If you start thinking about how to pay for college now, and saving toward that-- more so. Keep them in the loop of your life as much as you can, so they can see how you’re working toward a goal-- it really is pretty convincing, and parental pride can really put a dent in parental caution. Also-- apply to a college or 2 that they’d like to see you apply to. Be open to their ideas and it will be hard for them not to be open to yours. Good luck!</p>
<p>I went through a similar battle this last application season. After a while, my parents eventually decided that the school I had been wanting to attend all along really was the best option for me, academically, socially, and financially. Just keep explaining what it is that attracts you to JHU and UChic and repels you from whatever school would allow to live at home. Make it an “I like JHU/UChic because it has these programs and these traditions and these people and this atmosphere” type of thing, not an “I’m not a child anymore!” deal. Show that you’re mature and that you know what you’re doing.</p>
<p>If you are a girl, you might want to investigate more colleges and see if you can find one or two to add to your list that are not in urban areas.</p>
<p>Sometimes, parents of girls are particularly hesitant about their daughters going to college away from home if the colleges are in large cities, as both UChicago and Hopkins are. This has to do with concern over their daughters’ physical safety, especially at night. Therefore, you might encounter less resistance if some of your choices were in smaller communities. </p>
<p>Another thing that appeals to some old-fashioned parents is the opportunity to live on campus. It seems safer than off-campus housing. So if you have a college or two on your list that guarantees on-campus housing for all four years, that might be a good thing.</p>
<p>I’m not saying that you should apply to colleges that you don’t like. I’m just saying that as your search continues, if you find colleges you like that have either of these characteristics (non-city location or four-year on-campus housing), you might get less resistance from your parents.</p>
<p>guided, did you try that winning tactic yourself?</p>
<p>Have you visited those schools? Only asking because D2 was quite sure she would love one of those two schools, and did not like it AT ALL when she visited. Must admit, she does love the other one, though. 
What I am really saying is that don’t get your heart set on a college you have not even visited. You may be pining for something that looks good on paper/online, but doesn’t really speak to you when you actually visit the campus.</p>
<p>Are you certain your parents want you to live at home? Is this a cultural/protective desire, or is it financial?</p>
<p>it’s more of a cultural thing and it’s about my safety too</p>
<p>You haven’t answered how old you are. Also, are finances an issue (do you need financial aid)? There are other schools that match the “intensity” profile of JU and U of Chicago – I am assuming that is a big factor in why you like them, as that is the main trait I think they have in common. So what about Swarthmore? Not as urban, so your parents would probably perceive it as safer. Or maybe Williams or Amherst? They are smaller than those two schools, but all have some of that academic flavor.</p>
<p>And just to ask again, have you visited JHU or U of Chicago?</p>
<p>I’m currently 16, and yes, I will apply for financial aid. The main reason I want to go to these schools is because I obviously know they’re not ivy leagues, but they r still very competitive. I haven’t visited JHU, but I recently visited D.C. and stopped in Baltimore for like 1 hr. I’ve never been to Chicago.</p>
<p>How you convince them…you can convince anybody only using financial power. You have money to go where you want to go, go for it. Or is your tuition going to be covered with Merit Awards? If you do not have money to pay or do not expect to have full tuition Merit awards, you have no way to convince your parents, you are going only negatively influence your relationship with them. Believe me, you need their support for many more years, even as an adult.<br>
So, you are accepted to both JHU and U of Chicago at 16? Wow!!! And even without visiting schools. Also, it is very strange to feel such a passion for some places without even visiting them. What are your other choices? If you are not accepted yet, why you bother with the topic? It is pretty irrelevant at this point, these schools are very hard to get into. Get to several schools, get your Merit awards, then you have some points to discuss with your parents.</p>
<p>I disagree with some of MiamiDAP’s points.</p>
<p>The OP has said that she will apply for financial aid, not just merit scholarships. She needs her parents’ cooperation to apply for financial aid. Therefore, she needs to discuss her desire to apply to these colleges with her parents before she starts the application process.</p>
<p>I don’t think that financial power is necessarily the only way to convince someone of something. For example, my husband successfully convinced our son to attend the University of Maryland rather than the University of Delaware by providing evidence that the University of Maryland had a better program in our son’s intended major. My husband did not use financial power (he did not say “I’ll pay your tuition at Maryland but not Delaware”). He had a reasonable discussion with our son, which led to our son agreeing with his father’s reasoning and choosing to go to Maryland even though he liked the Delaware campus and its surrounding area better. </p>
<p>Perhaps the OP can have a reasonable discussion with her parents, much like the one between my husband and my son. But she needs ideas and information to support her argument that attending JHU or UChicago would be a good idea.</p>
<p>Maybe her parents can’t pay what they’ll be expected to pay. This girl may not understand how fa works. Fa is based on income and savings. If these schools expect her parents to pay $30k, but they will only pay $8k, she cant go</p>
<p>I think it’s important that the OP knows what the parents can and are willing to pay for college. Some information for the FAFSA and PROFILE estimators should be requested so some idea of what kind of financial aid would be forthcoming from those schools that meet close to full need. If the OP’s family expected payment is, say in the $30K range, and the parents are not willing or able to pay that, looking at $55K+ schools is really not realistic unless merit scholarships are a possibility. </p>
<p>Though both JHU and UCh give out some merit scholarships, getting the hefty ones is not easy, to put it optimistically. Gaining admissions to those schools is not easy. Not an issue if those are your reach schools, but the real challenge of the college search is to find schools that will certainly take you that your family can afford. That means looking at commuting options, state schools, and schools that have some scholarships to make it affordable. You need to get some idea of what your parents budget is. </p>
<p>Two of my son’s friends this year gave up their dreams of going to NYU, because OOS flagships offered them close to full rides with merit money, and NYU didn;t give them a cent. I think that if they commuted they could have gone to NYU, but it would have been tight, so they picked the live away experience and salvaged their parents’ bank accounts as well. Sometimes these are the choices we are faced when it comes time to making the decision. It’s not like a piece of clothing or other item that is a one time splurge and the dollar amounts are way up there when you are talking about college, and it is a 4 year commitment most of the time at very least.</p>
<p>To be honest, I am not convinced that the OP has any idea whether she really wants to attend these schools (1 hour in Baltimore is not visiting campus). And “they are not ivies but are very competitive” really isn’t a good reason. There are quite a few other schools that fit that criteria.</p>
<p>If you really want to go away from home and have the on campus/dorm experience, I suggest you work with your parents to find schools where you could do this and they would be comfortable with your safety. Also, if you need merit aid, you would be much smarter to look for colleges where you are in the top 20% or better of their statistical pool (and that give good merit aid). </p>
<p>I have given advice on several threads for students whose parents had issues with them going away to school, but I feel like your criteria and plans are half baked at best right now.</p>
<p>Get yourself a college book (Fiske is a good one), and look through for colleges that are (1) strong in your intended major, (2) geographically probably acceptable to your parents – if they are worried about your safety, something within a few hours of home is probably best, although you have not said where you live, (3) where your stats are on the higher end. Ask your parents if you can visit some of them (and visit a couple they want you to see that might not be on your list, too – this might be a long negotiation, and you won’t help yourself by digging in too early, IMHO).</p>
<p>Right now it seems like you are setting yourself up for a fight with them over something that is more of an illusion than a reality.</p>
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<p>Actually, there is a serious element of truth to this advice.</p>
<p>Think and talk about the value of belonging to a large community where you don’t need an automobile to get anywhere. A true, residential, national university campus is one of the few places in America anymore where 15,000 people can live together like that for several years. That allows you to focus on your studies and personal relationships in a way that is harder if you attend a commuter or suitcase school.</p>
<p>This is a serious commitment. It’s expensive. It separates you from your family for months on end. Talk honestly with your Mom and Dad in a way that acknowledges their concerns while at the same time expressing your own needs.</p>
<p>Also, look into women’s colleges. Your parents may find such LACs more culturally acceptable. </p>
<p>Are there other (Indian) girls within their network or yours a few years older than you who have gone away to school? And has it been a successful experience (from a conservative parental view) or have their been issues (maybe from a conservative social perspective). It would help you if other daughters within their social or religious set have paved the way for you. Do you know of anyone? Or did she end up doing something scandalous? </p>
<p>Unless you currently live in a large dangerous city in a bad neighborhood, Chicago and/or Baltimore will probably be no-goes. A rural or women’s college may be your compromise.</p>