<p>to USC, NYU, and Boston University. She is okay with Cornell because it is an ivy league. She is a immigrant so she is overly concern with name of the school internationally. She wasn't even happy with Cornell until I told her that it was an ivy league.</p>
<p>She keeps saying that all the schools are basically the same. It doesn't matter. I should just go to UCLA. I can't seem to make her understand that UCLA doesn't have an undergraduate business program and although Berkeley does, I need to apply again when I am junior. </p>
<p>She is especially against applying to USC because it is the "same" as UCLA. </p>
<p>Basically, she doesn't want me to be out of state and she doesn't want me to apply to any privates that are not "worth" it because Berkeley is more prestige and such.</p>
<p>We have gotten into several agruments over this. I even offer to pay for half of application fees. I just want my mother to understand that they are different schools but it seems to always turn into a screaming match and she would just stop listening to me... Please help.</p>
<p>While not asking that you disrespect your mother.........who cares what she wants??? What does she have to sign for you to apply? You get a job, you get a money order and you apply. I mean get a checking account w/ debit card. There are many ways to accomplish the application. Depending on what your mother wants isn't really necessary. Once you have the acceptance, then it becomes an issue of payment. I know you must be frustrated but why the IVY talk and then she wants UCLA? Is she worried about money? Are you planning to get financial aid? It goes without saying that far away may not be what she wants.......I'll bet part of this is financial concern. You will need to do your research and show her how the aid is awarded at state schools versus private schools.</p>
<p>Also, go to your guidance councelor and maybe have them do fee waivers for you?</p>
<p>That's how I was able to apply to most of the schools I did.</p>
<p>Also, pick up a copy of the US news college report. Or just suscribe to the online version and show her the national rankings. Search the schools websites for alumni and professors that are very famous or in international positions. </p>
<p>Even call the admissions office, I'm sure they'll be happy to give you information to convince your mom.</p>
<p>On the other hand, do you have something against Berkeley? Haas is one of the best undergraduate business schools in the country and since you live in California, is incredibly cheap. Check it out!</p>
<p>Yes I actually do have something against Berkeley. I love the town. I have sat in the classes. But frankly, I can't imagine myself there for some odd reason. Just a feeling. And of course, getting in is a problem...</p>
<p>And I am terrify of the fact that I won't be accepted into Haas junior years since you need to re-apply to Haas. Then I would be stuck in economics, which is already an impacted major. Although Haas would really help in finding a job, economics from Berkeley won't. I know people who graduated with a econ degree from Berkeley and can't find jobs.</p>
<p>"impacted" means that a major has failed to emerge fully into its expected position. This may occur either because there is not room enough in the jaw for the major, or else because the angulation of the major is improper. (or maybe not... ) :)</p>
<p>An impacted major is one where too many undergraduates are selecting it -- it means that it is hard to get into classes unless you are an upperclassman and you many not be allowed to declare it as a major for your first year or so. </p>
<p>Although I must admit, I prefer NJres explanation!</p>
<p>Perhaps you could apply now to where you want to go, even include Berkeley, and try to arrange to visit several colleges with your mom. She may need to see the different campuses to appreciate the differences. I'd also talk to family friends and relatives who may be more sophisticated about colleges, and they can share knowledge with your mother.</p>
<p>sigh' I just told my mom that I rather apply to USC over Cornell since I will have higher chance of getting in and I don't think Cornell's location match my peresonality.</p>
<p>she just slammed the door in my face and told me that i am being fickle (i prefer indecisive...). thus ending our conversation again. </p>
<p>i know in the end i will apply to the schools i want to apply to but it is really depressing when your mother doesn't even want to listen to your reasoning and i feel terrible for being indecisive. i just want so much for my next four years. i am starting to think that i should just apply to the UCs and be done with it.</p>
<p>Apply to the UCs, but add in a few that are in CA and seem attractive. Try to visit. When the time comes, you'll know about financial aid andf will be best able to make an opinion. Get brochures from the schools you like, and then narrow a list. Carolyn and your GC can be of help in narrowing the selection. Again, I urge you to visit both the UCs and the favorite privates, with your mother. The size of the schools was a big factor in S's decision, as well as the depth of the classes he observed and the type of students he encountered.</p>
<p>In all fairness Mom does have a say - the fees for a UC instate are about 6K per year, while the other schools you mention are close to 30K - when you are talking about more than 100K in her cost she is entitled to look for value. The only place where this is a sure thing is really the HYP Ivys where you are likely to get a significantly different job & salary than a normal school. Otherwise you are asking her to spend a huge amount of money on your whim.</p>
<p>Of course if you get fin aid packages then you are correct in that you should go to whatever college you want. But fin aid of any substance is hard/impossible for most CA residents due to the high cost of living - for most, if you make enough to live here you make too much for aid.</p>
<p>Also you question getting in to Berkeley - if that is the case what makes UCLA a slam dunk - its almost as hard to get in there as Berkeley, as is UCSD.</p>
<p>You need to figure out all the issues before choosing a school. From your post it sounds like you may have more homework to do.</p>
<p>
[quote]
she is entitled to look for value. The only place where this is a sure thing is really the HYP Ivys where you are likely to get a significantly different job & salary than a normal school
[/quote]
And you determined the accuracy of this statement where?</p>
<p>Apply to the schools your mother wants and the schools you want. If you can't get a fee waiver, then work to get money for the applications - you have some time. Tell everyone you want money for Christmas, too, or whatever you celebrate.
Then see where you get in. If you get into a school that is not on your mother's list that you really want to go to, take a visit with her. I agree that it is her money (I'm a parent) and it is unreasonable to force her into poverty or a lowered lifestyle if you get into a great state school in California. However, if it is that important to you, you can take out loans, work part time, and hopefully get some financial aid (that's what I did - but I had no choice, no money at home and no great state school).
At this point, I'd just apply and see where you get in. No point in fighting all year about something hypothetical.</p>
<p>A parent could make the argument that an business degree from Harvard for your kid is worth blowing your retirement given the opportunities in Wall St etc that can come from it - similarly a law degree from Stanford is 'special' and may be worth it. Similarly you could make that a business degree from another non special school is not worth ruining your financial future when a business degree from Haas school of business is available at lower cost.</p>
<p>My mother already told me that she would not pay for my loans if I go to a private. I expect that I will need to work during college even at a UCs (maybe work-study). I completely understand the issue of money. I have added up everything including tuition, housing, books, and travel fees to get an idea of how much money I need to go to each school. I fully understand that private school for me right now is more of a dream. But at the same time, I cannot spend the next four years wondering about all the what-if's. </p>
<p>I care about what my mother thinks because she invested so much in me. The least I can do is to let her make the most out of her "investment". I know I received a wonderful education because she was willing to give up Hong Kong. It is not solely about money. It is about my mother understanding that I am not applying to private schools on a simple whim to leave California. (I know people will disagree but this is my personal opinion) I want an opportunity to experience a new culture and environment, an opportunity that I probably won't get if I decide to stay in California. I do understand that UCLA and UC Berkeley are wonderful schools and a great price for the education I would receive that is the reason why I feel so guilty for even considering private schools. But I also know that if I don't even consider privates, I will regret it.</p>
<p>I guess my indecisiveness comes from too much research. I find out something about this school. I find a new school that I am interested in. My GC recommends schools for me. etc. I guess I want my mother to understand that I am constantly changing my list of colleges is because I want to make sure the app fees are worth it. </p>
<p>I am a practical person. Come decision time, I am sure I will have a lot of sleepless nights (unless I don't get into any of the schools, then it would be a nightmare). I suppose the title for this thread was misleading. I just want my mother to understand why I want to apply. </p>
<p>Thank you for all the responses. I realized that Internet is probably not the best place to receive advice about this. But thank you for all of your help. I will take all of them into consideration.</p>
<p>No matter what school I am going to, I still need to keep my promise of buying my mom a house anyway. </p>