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<p>Greater attention from topflight faculty, school resources/student, networking opportunities…especially in the industries/fields you’re looking to work in, average academic level of classmates, post-college career/grad school options.</p>
<p>So there IS a tangible difference post-graduation from attending Dartmouth then USC.?</p>
<p>Well, i pointed out the pay differences between the two schools. (USC: starting median salary, $38,800. Mid-Career median salary, $78,400… Dartmouth: starting median salary, $51,600. Mid-career median salary, $114,000.). BUT, they attributed all of the difference to the higher property value and taxes in the north and concluded that both degrees earn the same amount…</p>
<p>* Plus they hate the location, weather, and the people.*</p>
<p>Has anyone told them that THEY won’t be attending?</p>
<p>;)</p>
<p>Have you considered enlisting the help of a guidance counselor to speak with them? </p>
<p>I feel for you. I had parents that refused to allow me to go away to college because in their opinion you could get the same education while living at home. I deeply resented them and the situation, and ended up transferring after a couple years and moving away (in stealth) when I figured out that it wasn’t their decision if I just decided to pay the bills. </p>
<p>Reading between the lines I would bet they are motivated by their own comfort/desire to keep you close, AND perhaps the desire to keep you “same”. Your comments reflect that in the words use. North, cold, rich. It strikes me that the underlying sentiment is “different from us”. Those are going to be very challenging concerns to overcome. You may need to recruit help from an adult you both trust.</p>
<p>I would hate you to carry resentment over this.</p>
<p>The cost of living is higher in the north but it’s not like most people that go to Dartmouth stay in NH - it isn’t exactly a state with big commercial centers. I would guess that NH has far lower taxes than SC too.</p>
<p>It appears that there is a strong cultural dislike of the Northeast in your family that may or may not be objective. If you can’t bridge the divide, then you would have to go out on your own. I’m a bit surprised that you have no relatives outside SC. People in the US were incredibly mobile in the 60s - 90s, if for nothing else, then work opportunities.</p>
<p>I do think that there’s a big difference between Dartmouth and USC.</p>
<p>mom2collegekids, REALLY! I’ve obviously yet to get that point across…</p>
<p>nellieh, Well, guidance counselors at my school don’t really do anything but get students to go to local colleges, so I’ve basically done everything by myself, so I doubt that would help, but I do agree that we need the help of an adult to sort this out. Desperately, because this is definitely widening the divide between us.
And, on your observation, I think you’re exactly right. There’s cultural/intrinsic differences between us, too, and they definitely want me to be more like them.</p>
<p>And, well, my family has always lived in the town I’m in, and no one really goes away. (until me, hopefully).</p>
<p>And, on your observation, I think you’re exactly right. There’s cultural/intrinsic differences between us, too, and they definitely want me to be more like them.</p>
<p>Is there something else going on? Are they immigrants to the US? Some don’t like their kids going away to school. Or are they “small town” kind of people who don’t like “city people” and they perceive those who go to school in the NE to be the “worst kind of city people”? lol Sometimes “small town” people fear that if their kids go off to the “big city” that their kids will later look down on them.</p>
<p>No, my family’s been here for a whilleeee. So definitly the latter. They’re the regular small town people who just have a unfortunate view of city people. So yeah, you’re exactly right. And i guess they don’t want me to become one…</p>
<p>Clearly, USC is overall cheaper, but the deal you’re getting from Dartmouth seems terrific! I’m not sure how much your parents can afford to pay, but paying only $1000 for Dartmouth is a deal that lots of people would like right now. I know that people should try to avoid debt when they can, but being only $5000 in debt doesn’t seem like a bad price to pay to attend Dartmouth.</p>
<p>Would you be able to attend Dartmouth with zero money (including travel expenses and the like) from your parents?</p>
<p>OP: I feel for you! This is YOUR college experience and YOU have put in the time and effort to achieve great things in HS. YOU have opened doors for yourself. As previously stated, YOU are the one who will be living in NH for four years, NOT your parents! I have two anecdotes for you:</p>
<p>A good friend of my DD worked really hard in HS and wanted to go away to college (not even states away, just to another part of our state). Her parents wanted her to stay home and commute so she could be around to help with younger brothers and sisters. She couldn’t believe she had worked so hard and wouldn’t be able to take advantage of the opportunities. She got the GC to help her out with her parents and - I don’t know the entire story - but she did get to go away to school.</p>
<p>On the flip side - and several decades ago - my dad was accepted for undergrad into an Ivy League school. Maybe two hours from home. No financial issues. His mother made him commute to school (also a private school, not ivy but a top university, but he never got to live there). Then for dental school, he also applied to top schools, and got accepted. The one he wanted to go to was 3-4 four hours away. Again, no financial issues and his mother wouldn’t let him go. He had to continue to live at home and commute to dental school at the same university where he went to undergrad. You know what? My dad is now 76 and this STILL bothers him. Despite his very successful career and life, he totally regrets having to pass up the opportunities he had (and never got to have an on campus experience). 76 years old and he is still talking about it.</p>
<p>I am really rooting for you to get a positive outcome – where your parents don’t prevent you from an amazing education opportunity and where you don’t end up resenting your parents. If you were my kid, I’d be doing back-flips.</p>
<p>Contact Dartmouth and ask for alumni who live in SC to contact you and your parents.</p>
<p>For math/finance? Your opportunities will be WORLDS better at Darmouth than at South Carolina. That’s where all the big finance firms recruit! It’s kind of frustrating to me that your parents are being so stubborn on this - Dartmouth would be a great opportunity for a kid with any kind of interests, but with you being interested in math/finance - it’s even more of a boon with that package! And in math/business/finance, most summer internships pay. You can find paying summer internships - you just have to start looking earlier than your peers, and look longer and wider. But Dartmouth probably has a great career center that helps students find internships that suit them.</p>
<p>Your parents can hate the location and weather - THEY don’t have to go there.</p>
<p>I agree with the recommendation to get an alumni in South Carolina to speak to your parents. Dartmouth has students from all 50 states attend, so not all of your classmates are going to be from the Northeast. There will be plenty of Southerners at the campus, and your parents may feel more comfortable if a Southerner spoke with them about it.</p>
<p>A bit of comfort: my parents were also very against me staying on campus, even though the school I wanted to attend at the time was only 30 minutes away. They are working-class; I was a first-generation student and my parents are very religious, so they thought there were multiple bad reasons for me not to go to a college and stay on campus; they were kind of against me going at all. I received a full scholarship to the school (which you are very close to) and decided to attend anyway, regardless of what they wanted. I planned to borrow small amounts to cover the costs of my books and any extra living expenses I had. My parents were angry at first but they came around, and they even came to help me move into my residence hall on the first day. My mom cried when she left but she decided to give me a small allowance to help me with some living costs - she couldn’t afford much, but it was the gesture that counted. Later BOTH of my parents told me they were so glad that I chose to go to my college (even against their will), because they feel like I developed into a mature and responsible young woman. They came to visit me a few times and they liked what they saw.</p>
<p>So your parents may come around. They’re your parents, and they love you. They’re only worried about you.</p>
<p>We need to have an intervention with the parents. Coffee, cake and persuasion. </p>
<p>Is there anyone in your life who could speak to them? Maybe you could start another thread discussing “Dartmouth - USC, differences in outcome and experience” where your parents are sort of left out of the equation, people post lots of data and anecdotal information, then you print it out and show your parents. At least get them thinking.</p>
<p>Zoosermom has a great idea! Repost this as suggested and share the link with your parents. Hopefully no one will make reference to this thread. OP you can pay the student contribution off by working in the summer and winter break. Will the student contribution increase each year or is it $3.000 each year for freshman through senior year? Not that it matters because it can be done without any problems. A part time job on campus will cover your spending money while at school. I suspect if Darmouth gave you this kind of a package than the chances are they will continue to do so because they could see that your parents income will not change that much. I would jump on this great opportunity and not give it a second thought. You earned it and hopefully your parents will be fine with it once you leave for school. This is one of those once in a lifetime opportunities and I could’nt imagine you not regretting this for years to come if you did’nt attend. There is no comparison to what you will experience at Darmouth in terms of academics, experiences and general opportunities. This is a too good to pass up offer!!</p>
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The reason that’s such a good idea is it gets to some of what you wrote are the parents’ mindset about “city people.”</p>
<p>If they hear from other Dartmouth alumni - especially anyone born and raised in SC who returned – perhaps they could imagine you;ll go off to Dartmouth and return to SC to prosper. It might make them more comfortable. And you don’t know if that’ll be your future, but it’s one possibility that you’ll return to SC with a great education.</p>
<p>See if there are Dartmouth alumni who live in towns or work in professions that your parents don’t see as snobbish, whatever that means to them. They might identify with alumni their own age with a SC address and lifestyle. People tend to identify with their own peers in age and experience. </p>
<p>I suggest you screen the alumni. Have the alumni contact you first. After you speak with them, if you get the feeling they’d go over well with your parents, THEN ask them to also call on your parents. You can share with them that your parents feel reluctant but you are eager to attend. If the alumni know this, they can be sensitive to it when they speak with your family. </p>
<p>It is absolutely silly about the weather. I think they’re afraid you’ll turn snooty on them. Believe it or not, parents can be insecure or jealous of their own kids sometimes. Meanwhile, keep telling them you love them, and always will. It would be great if you could reassure them enough to support you emotionally on this decision. If not, can you just go and hope they’ll adjust in time?</p>
<p>*We need to have an intervention with the parents. Coffee, cake and persuasion. *</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>count me in. Can I bring the persuasion (Italian-style) ;)</p>
<p>chaosakita, thats what i thought!!</p>
<p>ucbalumnus, I’m not sure, but I would try my best to be able to.</p>
<p>LINYMOM, thank you so much for all your kind words! I, like your dad, am afraid I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t attend Dartmouth.</p>
<p>MomfromKC, that’s a great idea!!</p>
<p>juillet, That’s true! I feel like my opportunities would be world’s better if I went to Dartmouth, but my parents don’t seem to think so.</p>
<p>zoosermom, I will do so!!</p>
<p>momma-three, I’m assuming it will stay around 3,000 for all 4 years. And thank you for your inspiring words!</p>
<p>payingthreetuitions, I’ll attempt to set that up asap!</p>
<p>…has anyone mentioned the cost of travel…several times a year to and from schools?</p>
<p>As one who was accepted (during prehistoric times) at a top ivy and couldn’t go I find it amazingly invasive for some posters to look inside a family’s wallet. None of us knows their financial and/or familial makeup. To condemn parents without knowing the total picture is way out of line.</p>
<p>Communicate…yes. Make concessions (if necessary). Have a meeting(s) with your guidance counselor/grads of both schools to gain perspective on both school, and have a realistic open discussions. With all due respect I think that no one is able to totally communicate all the factors involved with this decision.</p>
<p>I was fifteen when I would have gone to college across the country. Were my parents right or wrong? All I know is that things turned out fine. All people have memories to last a lifetime. You can get them in different places.</p>