<p>My parents want me to succeed just as much as I want to succeed... maybe even more.
I come from an Indian (as in from India) family, so education is DEFINITELY paramount & I HAVE TO become a doctor.
(Just a side note: My goal to go into the medical field is not based on racial stereotypes -- that would be so dumb -- nor is it solely based on my parents' wishes... I also think it's a very noble & fulfilling profession & I would enjoy it since I do find the sciences more interesting than any other subjects, etc. etc... plus I have to be at least as good/better than my cousins & my parents' brown friends' kids... my dad's a doc too, so I need to be better, so I didn't waste his efforts... you know what I mean?)
I live in Canada & it seems that all my parents really want me to do is graduate high school & go to the local university because they're afraid to send me away... brown parents' love.
But the thing is that I know my local university sucks for sciences (it's fine for business, though, so it's not completely awful) & I want to go elsewhere.
I've been looking in to US universities (some of them wouldn't count me as an international applicant, either!) as well as those in my province.
I can pretty much guarantee my parents that I WILL get in somewhere other than the local uni, but they're pretty convinced I won't. :/
Again, it's the brown parents' love... they're just scared, I know that. So am I.
Some people I know have gotten in to Ivies (cousins, family friends, etc.) & I want to aim for an Ivy as well, just because I don't want to regret not giving it my all later in life & also to make my parents proud & prove to them that they don't need to worry so much about me being a failure when I grow up.
So, I DO want to aim for an Ivy, but here in Canada all you need to get into a good university are killer grade 12 marks. That's about it.
My parents don't think I should focus on ECs because they'll take away from my grades, which are super duper important in Canadian schools, but I'm very confident that this won't be the case (I'm in grade 10 right now, btw... just noticed I never mentioned that).
I've already been involved in several ECs and currently am, but my parents don't seem to like any that aren't run by my school.
I also do volunteering, but that's a graduation requirement & might get me scholarships, so my parents are okay with that.</p>
<p>But the real problem part is...
My parents think my idea of shooting for an Ivy is going to hurt me.
They think I'll focus too much on ECs & not enough on marks, which will hurt me in Canada.
I would never, EVER let that happen though (I don't even work super hard in school yet, so... D:) & as much as I tell them that they don't seem convinced.
I'm also thinking of doing all of these other things in my community (a research internship is one of them, just because I think it would be interesting).
My dad wants me to do that, but in grade 12... the year during which I'll have no time.
My mom thinks all of this is just a waste of time & energy.
I'm also trying to get into a summer science camp... again, I don't know what to do.
I haven't even talked to my parents about it yet because I'm so afraid of what they'll say.
How can I show my parents that shooting for an Ivy, though it WILL be a crapshoot, will not hurt me, but only help me no matter where I go to university? </p>
<p>I'm sorry for the huge rant... I'm just afraid & worried. :/ Thanks.</p>
<p>EDIT: I do know my parents want me to make it to an Ivy since other family members/friends have done it before, but they just think I'm not good enough... or they're afraid... I have no idea what to do. :(</p>
<p>i spot a trend. i believe you made a similar thread some weeks ago about disappointing your parents. you really need to take it easy, bro. i had a 45 ib predicted, but only a 2170, and sure my parents were slightly ‘disappointed’ in that score and i get those looks from the aunties too, but really WHO CARES?! you’re supposed to do the best YOU can, and i know i have (except that their pressure forced me to retake the sat for a 2250 this Jan, but that’s not important :P). as for applying to the ivies, if you’re confident that you can get in, and you show your parents your SAT scores, your ec achievements etc that make you a viable candidate for the top schools, i very much doubt that they’ll say no. show them that you really want it, don’t just tell them. get a 2300+, go to the IMO, or whatever. after that, just hope for the best. :)</p>
<p>Thanks a lot. :]
I’m just freaking out because I don’t want my cousins or all of the aunties/uncles’ kids to be better than me!
My parents would never be able to go to another party again… OMG.
Tomorrow my dad has a day off from work… I think I’ll just get it over with & tell him everything I’ve looked into so far & the replies I’ve gotten back.
The internship is a go from the uni dean so far… until I meet with her… D:
My dad DEFINITELY wants me to get like 2500 on the SAT (yeah… he actually told me to aim for 2500) when I take it next year… so that must mean he wants me to be admitted to American schools too.
Aaaaaaahhh. I’m scared, but I’ll just suck it up & talk to my parents tomorrow.
They’re my PARENTS so I’m sure they’ll be happy that I’m trying to better myself.</p>
<p>haha, the 2500 thing is actually funny because i’ve heard it before. :P</p>
<p>try not to compare yourself to others. work as hard as you can on your app and forget about what anyone else has done or will do. you’re an individual and as an individual you should push yourself to do the best YOU can. if you think you can score a 2400, make that your goal NOW. if you think can become a debating champion, a recruited-level athlete in your sport or an IMO-gold medalist, work towards it and ignore what others say. since you’re so determined to make it to the ivies, i’m sure you have the motivation in you to pull off a stellar app. so, ignore your cousins, your parents’ friends (i know what it’s like with these people too) and anyone else who might distract you from goals. i wish you the best. :)</p>
<p>Same thing here with the whole aim for the best score.</p>
<p>But sit down with your parents and talk it out with them. Tell them what you wnat to do and why it is important. I wrote a letter to my parents (you can’t argue with a letter so they just read it while I was somewhere else, it helps them focus on your ideas and points without having to say anything).</p>
<p>just try your best. Parents tend to change their minds A LOT when the time for college gets closer. My parents argued with me about my major, my school choice, even how clean my dorm will be (i’m only in 11th grade). But I just keep it in the back of my mind. Do not stress to much right now. You never know how their ideas might change. Plus if you’re their first kid they will just naturally worry about you more (as in my case).</p>
<p>The whole camp thing, talk to them about it. You never know what they might say until you say something.
good luck</p>
<p>You’re just like a typical Indian kid. Not trying to be racist (Not trying, but I do realize I’m being a tad bit rude), but you’re not any different. Not because you’re going for that medical field and that your parents want you to succeed. But because you overexmplify and boast your “Indian-ness,” while you constantly mention that you don’t want your race to define who you are. “I try to defy my racial generalizations by making excuses to follow them. Not only that, I always talk about how such racial generalizations apply to myself and my family.”</p>
