Coping with depression caused by the college selection process...

<p>using drugs and posting on an online forum are not answers to depression. treatment is the answer to depression. if you really think you're clinically depressed (and using drugs as an answer to your problems might be a sign that you are), find a therapist. If not, stop using depression as an excuse to get high. It doesn't matter if you're not using hardcore drugs, using drugs to escape reality is always a bad idea. </p>

<p>on a less harsh note, cheer up. the ivy league is not the only place to have a good college experience. if you're really hung up about "deserving" an ivy, remember that admissions can often be a crapshoot and think about the hardworking middle class kids with even better grades, test scores, etc., who did get into the ivies but can't afford the high tuition and won't qualify for much financial aid. they also "deserved" it. your hard work isn't wasted - you gained knowledge and probably learned some important life lessons. start looking for things you like about madison - certain classes, dorms, w/e - and remember that the name of your college isn't important. i hope you have a great 4 years at madison (or wherever you go), but hey, if not, you can always transfer.</p>

<p>I still dont understand why people see Ivy as the end of the road...there are so many great nonIvy league schools out there and the poster is going to one of the best. Youll get more opportunities than you can handle at Wisconsin just use them (as many dont) and youll be fine. Go to Ivy for Grad school if you really are set on going there some day.</p>

<p>I'm so sorry for the pain you're feeling right now.</p>

<p>Let's see if I've got this right. You feel like a dork and a failure for not getting in to your top choices, plus (since you sense a dissonance between the depth of your feelings and your actual situation) you feel like an ungrateful, self-centered brat. Oh yeah, and you feel like a complete weasel for feeling jealous of your friends' success. Wow, if I felt all those things I'd be tempted to self-medicate also. Plus you have people telling you to suck it up and "grow the hell up." You're an adolescent, of course you need to grow up - it's your number one job. But you can't grow up by denying or belittling your feelings, or numbing them by taking any kind of drugs (except under a doctor's care). You grow up spiritually and intellectually by exploring and understanding your feelings in a safe and supportive atmosphere. Of course you can have a fabulous college experience at UW and go on to have a satisfying and successful life, but only if you've taken care of your emotional issues first.</p>

<p>FIND A THERAPIST. Maybe you're depressed, or maybe this is just a short and painful phase - don't self-diagnose, either. Get a referral from your doctor, ask a trusted teacher or friend who they recommend, get a couple of names. Insist to your parents that they take you. </p>

<p>I just finished reading a very interesting book (written for parents about adolescence) called "The Price of Privilege" by Madeline Levine. Did you know that mood and anxiety disorders are now appearing in approx. 30% of teens from affluent families? We are living in the middle of an epidemic that no one is talking about. So yes, a lot of people are feeling the way you're feeling right now, but that doesn't make it any less painful for you. </p>

<p>Best of luck to you, and may you live a wonderful, happy life. Let us all know how you're doing - we care.</p>

<p>I am sorry you are disappointed and depressed, however please remember if the worst thing that ever happens to you is that you had to attend your safety school, then you will have a wonderful life!</p>

<p>Keep your chin up and go forward!</p>

<p>I completely agree with MarinMom. Personally, I was shocked by the harsh responses you received. I think that your sadness is justified. Working so hard to achieve what seems like nothing would be terrible. Luckily, you achieved a LOT! Think about all of your great experiences in high school. Think about what YOU have gotten out of all those ECs and AP classes. And, as others have said, while UW-Madison might not be an Ivy League school, it's certainly a very good one. You'll really shine there, and you'll probably be very happy. You can always transfer, of course. Things are what you make of them- I know that it's very easy for me to be so optimistic in my position (as a naive junior who has not yet braved the college admissions process), but the circumstances aren't that bad. Take some time to be bitter and sad, but then explore UW-Madison's programs! Think about all of the fun you'll have, and all the things that you'll learn =)</p>

<p>Someone must have told you or made you feel that you need to get into an Ivy to feel you are worthy. I would suggest you take a good hard look at who those people are and choose not to be one of them. I would also suggest that you love yourself a little more and stop putting chemicals into your body that don't belong there. They're bad for you. And you are smart enough, unlike many, to know that. You're already getting on the right track by getting onto this message board. Congratulations on UW Madison. Now, go make the most of it. =)</p>

<p>Einstein was rejected from the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology. Marie Curie was rejected from Polish universities. Faraday didn't even go to college. Education is what you make it. :)</p>

<p>Heres how I look at it. </p>

<p>the Ivy League is an athletic confrence thats all.</p>

<p>I know what it's like to work your ass off in high school due to a goal. Those who tell you to grow the hell up, well they're probably right, but it's still damn disappointing to work so hard to not realize your dream. There are worse things that can happen, but it still sucks normal to be disappointed. </p>

<p>Nonetheless, the Ivies are a total crapshoot and UW - Madison is an AMAZING school. Last year's valedictorian at my high school school went to UW. There are some amazingly smart, hardworking kids there. Not to mention, it's one of the top party schools in the country, so you'll be sure to have some fun if you ever need to kick back. Oh, and the lack of crippling debt when you graduate will be nice too.</p>

<p>UW - Madison was my cousin's first choice and he got rejected. There are kids vying left and right to get into this school. You're going to have an amazing four years there at the fraction of the cost of an Ivy. Seriously. **** the Ivies. They're totally overrated.</p>

<p>I can tell you that it's not the end of the world that you didn't get into your top choices. It does sound like you should talk to a therapist, at the very least so you can get your thoughts together.</p>

<p>By the way: my dad was an undergrad at Syracuse in the 70's (not a good school back then) and now he's a huge success. Education is WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT.</p>

<p>I know how you feel. You work so hard for, what it seems, nothing. People who work half as hard as you get into the same school as you. Their was no point in working so hard in High School, it's all gone to Hell. Unfortunatally, few understand this. </p>

<p>So what's my advice? DO NOT enroll in college, do a GAP YEAR. Take college courses (But don't enroll in college as a freshman), discover a passion (Write articles, research, etc. whatever), and apply again. Also, improve anything you need to (AP's, SAT, etc.) Then, write about your new, "Discovered self" in your essay.</p>

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<p>Let me tell you something that happened to me just yesterday.</p>

<p>I'm walking around Carmel, California (best known for being the home of Clint Eastwood--and where he was previously the mayor). It's a high-class enclave where only the very elite and prosperous live (p.s. I don't live there--I was just visiting).</p>

<p>Anyway, so I'm walking the down the street with my wife and I'm approached by an old guy (probably 70 years of age or older) with a Harvard hat and wearing an Amherst jacket. He had a load of papers under his arm and wanted to complain to me about how the library was closed. Thinking this guy was some kind of kook I figured I'd humor him by talking to him for awhile.</p>

<p>Turns out that while he is showing me his sheet of paper with the directions to the library, he has some alumni stuff from both Amherst and the Harvard Law School with his name and address on it--addressed to "Thomas C. XXXX (I'd rather not mention his name here). We get in a talk and I find out he went to both--knew people like Adlai Stevenson (same class as him), and even taught there. He said that Scooter Libby, Michael Chernoff, and Manuel Gonzalez--all Harvard Law grads--were some of his students.</p>

<p>His comment to me--"the school has gotten worse in who they pick to attend every year--and when you look at the people who come out of there--it's a surprise they even have the slightest bit of 'elitism' left. These people may run the government, but the way they run it leaves one to wonder if they learned law from law books, or from breaking the law so often."</p>

<p>This got me to thinking a bit after seeing your post.</p>

<p>In my post above, he said "Scooter Libby, Michael Chernoff, and Alberto Gonzalez" (not Manuel Gonzalez)--my error, not his.</p>

<p>Also, I think he said Scooter and Alberto were students, but Chernoff was a professor (don't remember exactly, though).</p>

<p>did you do all that hard work to get into a good college? Or did you do it because you loved to learn and still love learning no matter where you go?
If it is the first then you have bigger issues than not getting into a good school.</p>

<p>I'd love to go to UW-Madison. I don't want to brag, but just to prove I'm not stupid, I'm one of the top 30 people in the US in the USA Computing Olympiad, am one of less than 100 people in the world going to Purdue for a TopCoder High School competition, am a 3-time AIME qualifier, and a whole bunch of other stuff. And then I'm only a sophomore.</p>

<p>So yea, don't worry about having to "settle" for UW-Madison, it's a really good school.</p>

<p>Just thinking about all the money you'll save should cheer you up a bit!!! Although "money isn't everything," after four years you might come to appreciate the fact that you saved about $100,000 as a blessing in disguise. :) </p>

<p>Plus, you'll get a great education at UW Madison. Personally, I think the major difference between the top public universities and the ivy league is the amount of money they can spend on marketing!</p>

<p>Aww poor guy. Watch Spongebob:D</p>

<p>There are a lot of students who are thrilled to be going to UW-Madison.
You can have a great college experience there. It's a little tough switching gears, but you may discover that UW-Madison is a better place to go to college than some of the ivies you applied to.</p>

<p>People say that things happen for a reason. This was certainly the case when I applied to college. I didn't get into my top three colleges -- Harvard, Williams, Brown -- and I felt like I had to settle for my fourth choice which was Tufts. One of the reasons I didn't want to go to Tufts was that it was 40 minutes from home. Three weeks after I started college, my father had a heart attack and died and my mother was hospitalized for months with serious depression. I had to stay home and take care of my two younger brothers and commute to school. If I hadn't been at Tufts, I would have been forced to drop out of college. So it turned out that my fourth choice school was the best choice after all. It may turn out that there is a reason that you are going to UW-Madison which won't be clear to you for a while. But try to make the best of things. Going to UW-Madison is not going to stop you from doing what you want to do in life.</p>

<p>Guys, while the OP obviously has a lot going on and needs some perspective adjustment, let's not spend all our time belittling what the Ivy league schools are in order to communicate what they aren't.</p>

<p>is it just me, or do you guys want to hear what the ADMISSIONS OFFICERS on this board have to say about this?</p>